CiCi, the former Battle Mistress of the Galaxy (nee Chibi Chibi), sat on a stone park bench, growling, puffing on a cigar and mentally cursing up a storm. She felt the thick stitches at the base of her neck where Doctor Hogback had reattached her severed head to her body in the future year 200,100.

It had taken forever for her to rebuild even a fraction of a Chaotic Dark Energy, and now she had travelled back in time to the year 2024 to finally exact her revenge on those wretched Sailor Senshi and their friends who had ruined her plans for world domination.

This time, she fumed. This time it would be different. She glanced at her tiny baby-forearm which was clad with a golden, jewel-encrusted bracer - the last known Starseed / Sailor Crystal extractor in the galaxy.

With this, she would once again capture and manipulate those damnable Sailor Senshi. And then, vengeance would be hers.

She just needed to find one. Just one. She would capture, and turn them, and use that slave to ambush the others.

She contemptuously cast her gaze out across the park, then across the street beyond, looking at the throng of meaningless people living their meaningless little lives. Soon they would be screaming her name in terror and praise. And it would be music to her chibi little ears.

Imagining how she would debase each and every one of them, CiCi suddenly caught a glimpse of someone in the crowd.

"Mother[BLEEP]er," she swore, her cigar bobbing in her mouth. "That c[BLEEP]t."

She spied the flaxen hair lightly bound by a blood-red bow; The smiling crystal-blue eyes and the shapely form that b[BLEEP]tch Sailor Venus in Civilian form as Swine-o Mi-cock-no or whatever-the-hell-her-name-was, just window shopping and having fun without a care in the f[BLEEP]ing world.

Oh, this was too perfect, CiCi thought to herself as she hopped off the bench and waddled through the throngs of people between herself and her target, no one noticing the diminutive midget as she moved. B[BLEEP]tch won't even see it coming.

These Sailor Senshi were so weak, CiCi realized. Years of peace and retirement, along with leaning on their friends and their next-generation futurespawn to fight their battles for them had left them shells of their former, heroic selves. It wasn't even going to be a struggle to nab this bimbo's Sailor Crystal.

Minako giggled to herself as she eyed a racy dress in the shop window, imagining herself wearing it, the reflection of her face positioned over the shop mannequins. She would definitely turn some heads in--

Suddenly, she caught sight of a tiny midget-like figure leaping up behind her, crossing arms and shooting out a blast of light. There was no time to react.

The crowd of daytime shoppers burst into a panic and ran as the blonde girl in the red hairbow screamed out once, her body turning into sand and crumbling, a golden crystal floating in the air where she had once stood.

"F[BLEEP]cking easy," CiCi said to herself proudly, leaping up, grabbing the Sailor Crystal out of the air and--

--the Crystal stayed exactly where it was and did not move, no matter how hard CiCi tugged or pulled at it. She couldn't budge it, and was now holding onto it by one arm, hanging in midair, seemingly floating off the ground.

"What the s[BLEEP]t?" She exclaimed, as suddenly the hand holding the Sailor Crystal jerked backwards and smashed her in the forehead, leaving a bloody cut.

"WHAT THE F[BLEEP]K?!" CiCi screeched, letting go of the Crystal, which was burning hot with golden energy. Ci Ci could swear the ominous sound "Go Go Go Go" was coming from it.

The crystal SLAMMED forward again without warming, breaking CiCi's nose and causing her to spit out her cigar. The, like an expert boxer's fist, it retracted and surged forward again and again, pummeling her so hard CiCi was literally being air juggled, spitting blood all the while and swearing in confusion.

"What the everloving F[BLEEP]K is GOING ON?!" CiCi screamed. "You're a GODDAMN SAILOR CRYSTAL! YOU CAN'T FIGHT BACK!!"

"You're right!" the crystal chirped in Minako's voice. "Because this isn't a fight!"

The voice from the crystal lowered an octave. "It's going to be a massacre".

CiCi froze as she felt the sheer waves of murderous intent and the frankly ridiculous levels of Planet Power coming off the crystal. With a shock, she realized that over the last quarter century since they had run into Galaxia, even though the Senshi had seemed to be taking it easy and having fun, they had never stopped training, or growing stronger. They hadn't been resting on their laurels at all! They weren't mere servants to some overlord Monarch who held all the power! THEY WERE THE POWER. No... worse... they had become MONSTERS. MONSTERS OF JUSTICE!

CiCi emitted a monkey-like shriek and turned to flee, but the Crystal teleported in front of her and behind her in rapid succession, screaming ORA ORA ORA ORA! and swooping in to savagely strike her again and again, breaking bones, bursting blood vessels and generally perforating her to within an inch of her life. THEN golden light particles seemed to flow into it and it made a peculiar chirping sound like...

...like it was charging up a beam.

"ALL RIGHT!" CiCi screamed, dropping to the ground on her knees. "I'm sorry! I'm SORRY!" She bowed. "YOU CAN HAVE YOUR BODY BACK!" She twisted her forearm and the sandy pile of Minako's remains swirled into the air, coalescing around the crystal and solidifying into her youthful frame once more.

Glowering, Minako kept two fingers pointed at CiCi, a Crescent beam charging up.

They don't even need to transform at this point. CiCi realized. S[BLEEP]t.

"Don't ever show your face in front of me or my friends again," Minako growled. She then grinned and tossed her hair, casually remarking, "I'm not even the strongest one~"

She winked.

CiCi paled and fled down the street, gibbering and crying, as Minako let the Crescent Beam energy fade away and she went back to joyfully window shopping.

And all was right with the world.