#841: “Who are you? WHO CARES”

[09:12] *** Tue Jul 19 2005 - LOGGING START ***
[09:12] *** Now talking in #suburbansenshi
[09:12] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Oh my god I want to kick CSI in the nuts
[09:13] <H3LLi05> Yo dog why all the CSI hate?
[09:13] <// J_Daito //> Without cable we get exactly one channel on the "rabbit ears" and it shows CSI about 4 times a day.
[09:14] <H3LLi05> lol rabbit ears, that's older than lustin' after britney spears
[09:14] <// J_Daito //> It also doesn't help that we have to keep the "rabbit" on the TV for things to work
[09:14] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> sat da fick pu u lak da panti s[BLEEP]ts
[09:14] <H3LLi05> man even I'm tired of your panty shots b[BLEEP]ch
[09:14] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> ..|..
[09:15] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Man CSI is such a load of crap
[09:15] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> I mean it's so damn cookie cutter, the formula is obvious
[09:16] <H3LLi05> Tell me more, about this show that everyone 'cept you seems to adore
[09:16] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Ok check this out, CSI is like Quincy MD except with sarcasm and shock value and sex
[09:16] <// J_Daito //> Quincy had sex
[09:17] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> ARRGH mental pictures of Jack Klugman on the job make Haruka Blind
[09:17] <// J_Daito //> Soory, my fault AHAHAHAHAHAHA
[09:17] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> punkass
[09:17] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> So anyway the first thing we gotta do is find some freakish medical condition, because the whole f[BLEEP]kinf plot depends on it
[09:18] <// J_Daito //> Nonono first you have to have the crime
[09:18] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> You're right... so this happens in either an a) nightclub b) strip club c) hooker's corner or d) a seedy bar filled with sexy people which is such an oxymoron but we won't go there
[09:19] <// J_Daito //> Good NOW the stage is set
[09:19] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Almost, almost, there has to be some kind of steamy setup, and then just when the audience is all set to explod-- metaphorically speaking of course-- we make them all feel like sickos because the act climaxes in some grisly bloodletting
[09:20] <// J_Daito //> You know I actually liked that part of the show.
[09:20] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Because you're a sick freak who lived in a cave for 10 thousand years
[09:20] <// J_Daito //> Don't knock it till you've tried it
[09:21] <H3LLi05> Man I fail to see the problem with this setup, yo, that kinda s[BLEEP]t makes my motor wanna go
[09:21] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> God I'm surrounded by freaks
[09:22] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Anyways, we need to spend at least half an hour having the FORENSIC BOYS handling INTERROGATIONS and looking at each other like "god, what a dumbass we're talking to" and "oh, he just let THE SECRET slip"
[09:22] <// J_Daito //> But then finding out they were questioning the wrong guy anyway so they have to start over
[09:23] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Yes there must be at least two false leads, OR one of them will tie into some ancilliary subplot, like "Investigator X discovers she has herpes and searches her soul for answers" or some crap
[09:23] <H3LLi05> s[BLEEP]t man you don't want to know about barnyard diseases
[09:23] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> No... no we really don't dude.
[09:23] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> dat sit iz facking tuff 2 remof
[09:24] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> evan da ginzushoe haz probalsmz
[09:24] <// J_Daito //> Did we want to know this? NO
[09:24] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> So ANYWAY OK
[09:24] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> NOW we have to tie the crime in to some exotic freakish disease
[09:25] <// J_Daito //> And if they're feeling REALLY keen they'll link that into some subculture of freaks they can find on the internet
[09:25] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Like furs
[09:25] <@spiritflame> or the otaku
[09:25] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> DUDE SHUT UP THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH OTAKU
[09:26] <// J_Daito //> Hah, this coming from Ten'ou who in public pretends to look down her nose at Otaku
[09:26] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Hey it's called the hypocrisy of the wealthy elite, b[BLEEP]ch
[09:26] <// J_Daito //> Except you're BROKE.
[09:26] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> ................ f[BLEEP]k you
[09:26] <// J_Daito //> heh
[09:27] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Anyway... so anyway, we need to tie the plot into a disease right
[09:27] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> So we go to a medical textbook
[09:28] <GERMATOID> NO NEED WHEN YOU CAN JUST HIT GOOGLE WITH KEYWORDS "SEX DISEASE"
[09:28] * @spiritflame suddenly feels the onrush of spam bots
[09:28] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> holy s[BLEEP]t good idea doc
[09:28] <GERMATOID> PROF
[09:29] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> yeah yeah I mean you get a title like "BBC NEWS | Health | 'Dogging' craze sex disease risk"
[09:29] <// J_Daito //> Yes and then the producer is like "dogging craze? holy crap that sounds SICK and deviant, it's sure to eb perfect!"
[09:30] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> So then we look up the term and it means "The internet and text messaging are fuelling a practice which involves unprotected sex with strangers in public park"
[09:30] <// J_Daito //> It uses the INTERNET? And CELLPHONES? And has an element of VOYUERISM?
[09:30] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Perfect, PERFECT CSI plot.
[09:31] <// J_Daito //> So basically some apefaced otaku IMs a sexy hot model-esque "teenager" who meets him in the park
[09:31] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Except, having standards, she turns up her nose at the geek and walks off
[09:32] <// J_Daito //> This enrages him and he kills her with some messed up item like a sprinkler head which cleanses itself of all evidence
[09:33] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Yes but little did he know that the ayanami rei mas[BLEEP]tory hand cream lotion ^TM GAINAX he used on his skin every day to keep it soft and supple lodged under her fingernails
[09:33] <// J_Daito //> From when she gave him the finger... to the EYE
[09:33] <H3LLi05> Damn dudes this is sick
[09:34] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> And then to add a final twist, at the end, when they are grilling him they reveal she actually didn't hate him but just turned him down so he couldn't be charged with violating pedo laws
[09:34] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Making him feel like TOTAL s[BLEEP]t
[09:34] <// J_Daito //> Because it's not just freak deviant murder, it's IRONIC freak deviant murder^TM
[09:35] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> And there you have it our very own episode of CSI
[09:35] <H3LLi05> Dudes now I want to see this damn show, yo
[09:35] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Dude you're missing the point
[09:36] <H3LLi05> no man you are, word!
[09:36] *** H3LLi05 [beastmastah@stable.abattoir.co.jp] has quit IRC (wanna catch me some hotties on CBS)
[09:36] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> ARRGH
[09:36] <// J_Daito //> heh
[09:37] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> ror dat sits iranic
[09:38] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Hey how about this for an episode: pink haired freak girl who suffers from stunted grwoth disease dies on top of TV because her friends smothered her in alumimium to make her a better conductor for tv reception
[09:38] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> fak u azhol
[09:38] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> sadaz materfacker
[09:38] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> im gona kak ur az
[09:38] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> bat new i gat 2 gew 2 akibara
[09:38] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Why
[09:39] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> i gat menz 2 saduce an steal moni frum
[09:39] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> ............
[09:39] *** .`~SugaBB_2999~`. [cndygrrl@gigaport.capitalnet.ct] has quit IRC (mohshshshsh)
[09:39] <// J_Daito //> She IS a CSI stereotype
[09:39] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> No s[BLEEP]t. Wonder if they'll ever do Ganguro girls?
[09:39] <// J_Daito //> Setsuna = Ganguro?
[09:40] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Where the f[BLEEP]k did THAT come from dude?
[09:40] <// J_Daito //> if you look at her pictures, in half of them her complexion is really light then in half it's really dark.
[09:40] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> ........................................................
[09:40] <// J_Daito //> Something to think about.
[09:40] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> But not too hard
[23:19] *** Disconnected
[23:19] *** Tue Jul 19 2005 - LOGGING END ***