#624: “She's got the Drive”

*** Now talking in #suburbansenshi
*** Topic is '-= A shadowy fight into the world of a man whose talent does not exist =-'
[21:39] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- is in Germany
[21:40] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> My name is Ten'ou Haruka. You stole my woman. Prepare to die.
[21:40] <guest_KITT> woo woo (scanner light)
[21:40] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> You're that.... taking car thing, right?
[21:41] <guest_KITT> woo woo
[21:41] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Wow you're a lot cooler in person, not like my nightmares
[21:41] <guest_KITT> Why, thank you for noticing.
[21:41] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> !
[21:42] <guest_KITT> Michael never notices how good I look anymore
[21:42] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Wha...? Look at your shiny chassis, your sleek hubcaps...
[21:43] <guest_KITT> Stop it, you're making me blush (woo woo)
[21:43] <guest_KITT> Back in the day, when we had our TV show, he'd polish my chrome every day and wipe my windshield...
[21:45] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Wow KITT... if I had a car like you I'd never neglect basic maintenance....
[21:46] <guest_KITT> back in the day... life was sweet...
[21:46] <guest_KITT> I met all kinds of famous people...
[21:46] <guest_KITT > * hands Haruka a picture
[21:47] <guest_KITT> * with a robotic arm thing
[21:47] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- takes it
[21:47] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> URL --> the picture
[21:47] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Whoa... that kid, it's GARY COLEMAN from Diff'rent Strokes!
[21:48] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> The poor kid from that poor kid / rich adoptive dad sitcom I used to watch as a child!
[21:48] <guest_KITT> if I could cry I would weep gallons of wiper fluid...
[21:50] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- changes topic to `O KITT my good friend`
[21:50] <guest_KITT> ever since David got that job on Baywatch he forgot about me....
[21:51] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Well, I hate to say it dude but... hot chicks on the beach....
[21:51] <guest_KITT> (sniffle) THAT'S WHAT HE TOLD ME!!
[21:52] <guest_KITT> Ever since he became a lifeguard we haven't gone out to fight crime anymore...
[21:52] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- is not listening: drooling over teh baywatch chix
[21:53] <guest_KITT> my existence has been so lonely.... attending carshows for fat obese old sci-fi otaku...
[21:53] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- is still not listening
[21:54] <guest_KITT> O Michael, Michael, I'd do anything to get you back, Michael.....
[21:54] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- snaps out of it a little
[21:54] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> I thought you called him David
[21:54] <guest_KITT> "David Hasselhoff" is the code name Michael Knight uses to mingle amongst the normal man
[21:55] <guest_KITT> *I* Made it up for him!!
[21:55] <guest_KITT> *weeps* (metaphorically)
[21:56] <guest_KITT> I miss him so much
[21:56] <guest_KITT> * shows Haruka another picture
[21:56] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> URL --> looks at the pic
[21:57] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- is blind
[21:57] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Dude that wasn't really... like, neccessary.
[21:57] <guest_KITT> Michael, Michael, Michael!
[21:59] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- is still stunned
[22:00] <guest_KITT> And now.. and now and now he's got himself a new GIRL FRIEND!
[22:00] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- snaps out of it
[22:00] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Oh yeah? What's she look like?
[22:01] <guest_KITT> I don't know what he sees in her... arrogant blue-haired hussy!!
[22:01] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> !
[22:02] <guest_KITT> She can't even cook for him like I do!
[22:02] <guest_KITT> Why back in the day I'd fry eggs on my engine block just for him...
[22:03] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- sniffles
[22:03] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> You're my kinda guy, KITT, my kinda guy...
[22:03] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> I used to... hate you... in my dreams...
[22:03] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> But one look into that slowly oscillating red scanner light
[22:04] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> And.... I can't hate you, good buddy!
[22:05] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- leans down and drapes herself on KITTs hood in a big hug
[22:05] <guest_KITT> (sniffle) "Good Buddy"... that's what he USED TO CALL ME!! (wails)
[22:05] <guest_KITT> Damn you, Blue-haired homewrecker!!
[22:06] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- straightens up
[22:06] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> KITT, my artificially intelligent indestructible set of badass 80's wheels...
[22:06] <guest_KITT> *sniff* Yes?
[22:07] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Let's get our b[BLEEP]hes back
[22:07] <guest_KITT> (sniffle) Really?
[22:07] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> HELL YES (slaps a hand on KITT's roof)
[22:08] <guest_KITT> * pops open the front door
[22:08] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Ooo I can ride in the KITT?
[22:08] <guest_KITT> First class all the way, "Good Buddy"
[22:09] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- gets in the car
[22:10] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- is listening to: [ Theme ] Knight Rider (TV Theme) [112 kbps]
[22:10] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- and KITT are cruising all over Germany at 300 mph
[22:11] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- makes KITT turbo Boost jump over a bunch of tourists
[22:11] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- makes KITT scare some old people by talking to them late at night
[22:12] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- uses KITT's laser to pop open a semi truck and collects some merchandise that "fell off"
[22:12] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- uses KITT to outrace the cops, giving them the finger all the way
[22:12] <guest_KITT> Wow, Haruka.... you can handle me even at top speed...
[22:13] <guest_KITT> even Michael had to give up around 200mph...
[22:13] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Well I am the best racer in all of Japan, and possibly the world...
[22:13] <guest_KITT> heh, even though you litter my insides with Sakura petals and that BGM song is annoying...
[22:14] <guest_KITT> I think you're swell
[22:14] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> heh
[22:14] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- uses KITT to smash through castles that are hundreds of years old
[22:16] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- is listening to: [ Steppenwolf ] Born to Be Wild [128 kbps]
[22:16] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- and KITT tear a swath of motorized mayhem throughout all of Germany
[22:17] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> WHOOO! Those police anti-tank rounds just bounce right off!
[22:17] <guest_KITT> Micheal used to yell like that when he was inside me....
[22:17] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- is LOVING this car
[22:18] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- plays bumpercars on the Autobahn
[22:18] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- uses KITT's internal TVs to watch reports about their path of chaotic fun
[22:18] <guest_KITT> I feel.... so alive!
[22:18] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> w00t!
[22:19] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- uses KITT's hax0ring skills to rig some Counterstrike LAN matches
[22:19] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> We make a BADASS team, KITT!
[22:19] <guest_KITT> :)
[22:20] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- is listening to: [ Prodigy ] One Man Army [128 kbps]
[22:21] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- and KITT are cruising through Germany, righting wrongs and triumphing over evil
[22:22] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- and KITT party hard all night long
[22:24] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> KITT... I feel like I found something in you...
[22:24] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> That I been missing....
[22:24] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> A set of wheels that's faster than the wind... a car I cannot tame...
[22:24] <guest_KITT> and you're the skilled driver I haven't had in years
[22:25] <guest_KITT> I feel so... fulfilled
[22:25] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Let's never split up, good buddy
[22:25] <guest_KITT> never, haruka... never
[22:25] * @spiritflame changes topic to `and so haruka loses her way`
[22:26] * @spiritflame changes topic to `but only for a time`
[22:26] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- and KITT smash their way into a rock concert
[22:26] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Whoa KITT, pop the sunroof and eject me into the mosh pit!!
[22:27] * KITT launches Haruka into the crowd
[22:27] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- sails though the air and lands on the people, getting carried by the wave
[22:28] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- is listening to: [ MC Hawking ] All My Shootings Be Drivebys [128 kbps]
[22:28] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- bounces up and down and sees someone on stage
[22:29] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> That blue haired vixen... singing with that reject from 80's fashion
[22:29] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> O_o;
[22:29] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> MICHI?!
[22:29] <guest_KITT> MICHAEL?!
[22:29] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- propels herself off the heads of one of the moshers and launches onto stage
[22:30] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Kaioh Michiru!! (points)
[22:30] * David Hasselhoff steps in front of her
[22:31] <guest_TV\'s_David_Hasselhoff> Hi... I'm TV's David Hasselhoff.
[22:32] <guest_TVs_David_Hasselhoff> Who are you, strange man, and what do you want?
[22:32] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> I...
[22:32] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- looks over at KITT sadly (she knows it's over between them)
[22:33] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> I am Ten'ou Haruka.... you stole my woman... prepare to die!
[22:34] <Mdm_Maestro> O_o; HARUKA?!
[22:34] <Mdm_Maestro> You tracked me to Germany?!
[22:35] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Yo babe...
[22:35] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- poses and looks super bad
[22:35] * in a good way
[22:36] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- is listening to: Micronaut - Northern Style Kung Fu [128 kbps]
[22:36] <guest_TVs_David_Hasselhoff> Hah. I can have a soundtrack too. ^_^
[22:38] * TVs_David_Hasselhoff is listening to: John Williams - Duel of the Fates [128 kbps]
[22:38] * TVs_David_Hasselhoff smirks
[22:39] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- powers up perfection field
[22:39] <guest_TVs_David_Hasselhoff> fool
[22:39] * TVs_David_Hasselhoff is in Germany, were he is loved beyond all rationality or reason
[22:40] * TVs_David_Hasselhoff powers up his OWN perfection field
[22:41] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> ... damn
[22:41] <guest_TVs_David_Hasselhoff> So whatchya gonna do now?
[22:41] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- ponders
[22:41] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- whips out the Space Sword
[22:42] * TVs_David_Hasselhoff leans over to Michiru and whispers in her ear
[22:42] * Mdm_Maestro goes blank eyed and hands him the Aqua Mirror
[22:42] <guest_TVs_David_Hasselhoff> ^_^
[22:43] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> mother f[BLEEP]er
[22:43] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- HATES even odds
[22:43] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- transforms into Sailor Uranus
[22:43] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- snickers at Hasselhoff
[22:44] <guest_TVs_David_Hasselhoff> ooh, saucy
[22:44] * TVs_David_Hasselhoff transforms into... the KNIGHT RIDER
[22:44] <guest_KNIGHT RIDER> heh
[22:45] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Oh wtf.com
[22:45] <guest_KITT> Michael!! Michael!!
[22:45] * KNIGHT RIDER ignores his former partner, grasping the fainting Michiru in his arms
[22:46] <guest_KNIGHT RIDER> the lady... is mine... *kisses her*
[22:46] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Oh HELL no you did NOT just do that
[22:46] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> TELL me you did NOT just do THAT
[22:47] <guest_KITT> Michael!! ! NOOOOOOOOO
[22:47] <guest_KITT> * turbo boosts over the crowd, aiming to smash Michael
[22:48] <guest_KNIGHT RIDER> KITT...?
[22:48] <guest_KITT> * doesn't have the heart to do it, diverts course and slams into the stage sideways, powering down
[22:48] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> NO! KITT! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
[22:49] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- leaps for the Knight Rider
[22:49] * KNIGHT RIDER leaps for the strange man with rage issues
[22:50] * the duo scuffle
[22:50] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> (punch) gimme back (kick) my WOMAN!!
[22:50] <guest_KNIGHT RIDER> (block) MY (judo kick) WOMAN!
[22:51] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> What? Beaten back by... fakey 80's fight choreography?
[22:52] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- is fading fast under the non-connecting judo kicks and stuff upper cuts
[22:52] <guest_KNIGHT RIDER> Sorry pal, the chick's MINE!
[22:52] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- is in a bind (and she don't mean the constipated kind)
[22:53] <@spiritflame> (fuzzy holographic image, star wars style) use the funky groove
[22:54] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> ... master rei.bot?
[22:54] <@spiritflame> the funky groove haruka
[22:54] <@spiritflame> use the funky groove
[22:55] <guest_KNIGHT RIDER> (kick, kick, punch, slam) You're going DOWN, pal!
[22:55] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- is fading out, but meditates on the androids haiku
[22:56] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- 's eyes snap open as she UNDERSTANDS
[22:57] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- is listening to: Carl Douglas - Kung Fu Fighting [128 kbps]
[22:57] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> The only way to beat bad 80's choreography...
[22:58] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> is with *70's* choreography!!
[22:58] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- leaps up and knocks the Hasselhoff off
[22:58] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- assumes the Tiger Stance
[22:59] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> I am gonna get Nothern Style Wu-Tang Clan Shaolin Style Mediaeval FUNK GROOVE on your ass!
[22:59] <guest_KNIGHT RIDER> W... what is this?
[22:59] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- leaps into action using ALL the s[BLEEP]t bruce lee taught her as a child (via the movies)
[23:00] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- moves fast as lightning
[23:00] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> (kickkickpunchslambangwhoopokekickpose) WAHAAAAAA!!!
[23:00] <guest_KNIGHT RIDER> Knight Rider... losing...?
[23:01] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- is funkier than the funkiest monk yo
[23:01] <guest_KNIGHT RIDER> my knight rider powers... no match... for the drunken ba[BLEEP]rd style....
[23:01] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- chugs a molson
[23:02] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- starts swaying with the hands and strikes with expert timing
[23:02] <guest_KNIGHT RIDER> the knight rider's blood! out of... his body!
[23:03] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- uses Drunken BA[BLEEP]RD style
[23:03] <guest_KNIGHT RIDER> the knight rider's groin... smashed!
[23:03] <guest_KNIGHT RIDER> Oh! Not the Knight Rider's EYE!
[23:04] <guest_KNIGHT RIDER> That was the Knight Rider's dominant Arm!
[23:04] <guest_KNIGHT RIDER> But the Knight Rider needs all TEN toes!
[23:04] <guest_KNIGHT RIDER> The Knight Rider... has no more ribs to crack...
[23:05] <guest_KNIGHT RIDER> and now the Knight Rider... is bald as well
[23:05] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- IS A BA[BLEEP]RD
[23:05] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- proves it by ripping out the Hasselhoff's chest hair
[23:06] <guest_KNIGHT RIDER> no! not the virility of the Hasselhoff!
[23:06] * Mdm_Maestro snaps out of her trance
[23:06] * KNIGHT RIDER powers down
[23:07] * TVs_David_Hasselhoff is on the ground in a pile of his own blood
[23:07] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- detransforms and steps on his neck and salutes the crowd
[23:07] <guest_KITT> M...Michael?
[23:07] <guest_TVs_David_Hasselhoff> K... KITT, is that you?
[23:08] <guest_KITT> Michael, are you ok?
[23:08] <guest_TVs_David_Hasselhoff> no KITT, right now I'm pretty f[BLEEP]ing far from all right...
[23:09] <guest_KITT> * drops back to the ground from being on his side, pops open his hatchback
[23:09] <guest_KITT> Haruka, could you?
[23:09] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- picks up the Hasselhoff and drops him in the back of KITT
[23:10] * KITT closes his hatchback
[23:10] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Whaddya do now, KITT?
[23:11] <guest_KITT> I'm going to take him far away from all this, Haruka.... from the fans, the cash and the blue-haired women...
[23:11] <guest_KITT> maybe somewhere far far away.... together, we can heal each other
[23:11] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> heh
[23:12] <guest_KITT> and maybe one day we'll be back... as a team... in a feature film not totally unlike "The Fast and the Furious"
[23:12] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Kickass
[23:12] <guest_KITT> * starts to drive away
[23:12] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Dude!
[23:13] <guest_KITT> stops for a moment
[23:13] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Dude, it was the S[BLEEP]T! We need to like smash up the freeway again sometime, OK?
[23:13] <guest_KITT> you got it... good buddy
[23:13] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- wipes off a tear
[23:14] <guest_TVs_David_Hasselhoff> (from the distance) The hasselhoff... needs... medical... attention... stat...
[23:14] * KITT is listening to: [ Theme ] Knight Rider (TV Theme) [112 kbps]
[23:15] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- turns to Michiru
[23:15] <Mdm_Maestro> Oh... what.... what happened to me...?
[23:15] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- gets down on one knee
[23:16] * cue sakura and watercolorly crap
[23:16] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Michi....
[23:16] <Mdm_Maestro> Haruka.... you defeated the Knight Rider? For me?
[23:17] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Michi... you are... ( thinks of that damn commercial) You are.... my shining star...
[23:17] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> ...I don't want to ever lose you again...
[23:17] <Mdm_Maestro> Oh Haruka... does this mean....
[23:17] * the music swells
[23:17] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> ...yup...
[23:18] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- helps Michiru up
[23:18] <Mdm_Maestro> ...oh Haruka, really?...
[23:18] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Michi... I want you...
[23:18] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> I want to take you...
[23:19] <Mdm_Maestro> Yes, Haruka?!
[23:19] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> ...over my shoulder, carry you home and make you my woman once again...
[23:19] <Mdm_Maestro> ♡_♡ Oh, Haruka!!
[23:19] * the music grinds to a screeching halt
[23:20] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- slings Michiru over her shoulder
[23:20] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Hmm... wait.. S[BLEEP]T the car ran away, how the f[BLEEP] do I get home?!
[23:20] * // J_Daito // opens a Teleport portal
[23:20] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> !!! JEd?
[23:20] * // J_Daito // snickers
[23:21] <// J_Daito //> "You are my shining Star" LOL
[23:21] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> ...f[BLEEP] you saw that huh...
[23:21] * // J_Daito // backs up to show all the sub.senshi watching with popcorn
[23:21] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> oh god [BLEEP]it...
[23:22] <// J_Daito //> C'mon, Ten;ou, bring your woman home
[23:22] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Dude that's nice of you
[23:22] * // J_Daito // scowls
[23:22] <// J_Daito //> Portal toll, 500 bucks, moron
[23:22] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> ... I hate you, you f[BLEEP]ing know that
[23:23] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- pays the man and takes Michi home
[23:23] * the other sub. senshi look at Jedite
[23:23] <// J_Daito //> What, it's the PRINCIPLE of the thing
[23:24] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- changes topic to `finally someone ELSE gets to make some noise`
[23:24] <FireFly_9> ...
[23:24] <FireFly_9> to my house, everyone...
[23:24] <GERMATOID> MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*** Disconnected











SNARKY TEXT HERE