Suburban Senshi IRC Chat #599: “The sad tale of Aino Minako”
#599: “The sad tale of Aino Minako”

*** Now talking in #suburbansenshi
*** Topic is '-= Did Usagi brainwash the outers n the manga? =-'
[23:55] <spiritflame> wolfwood has spoken

and Xadium,I understand that it was Arty she was talking to..but I seriously think she takes advantige of you.I can understand the attraction to her,but I still think shes a money grubbing whore no better than the Tommy Hilfigger-clad trash I went to Highschool with...and if this becomes fodder for the next entery in the IRC logs..good,I hope it does...because someone needs to put that b[BLEEP]h in her place

[23:57] * =^catablanca^= whistles

[23:57] <=^catablanca^=> ouchies
[23:57] <Cést_la_V> ...
[23:57] <Cést_la_V> But that's not how it is!!
[23:57] <=^catablanca^=> erm, you let Hotaru take over the mortgage, you sponged off *me* for the ice cream... you *were* begging for a new item...
[23:58] <Cést_la_V> But we're buddies!! I *always* harass you for items!! You insult me, I insult you, we get mad for a few minutes, then we laugh about it and move on...
[23:59] <FireFly_9> I hate to say this, Minako-sempai, but you *have* been rather lazy lately...
[23:59] <Cést_la_V> tsk
[00:00] <Cést_la_V> X-chan, that's not true, is it?
[00:00] * Dr_Xadium is away: fixing TARDIS Chameleon circuit

[00:00] <Cést_la_V> No you're not!! You're just avoiding the issue!!
[00:01] * Cést_la_V sighs

[00:01] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> LOL she's just enjoying being "kept"...
[00:01] <Cést_la_V> That's the bottle calling the soda black!!
[00:02] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> hah, face it kiddo, I HAVE jobs, even if I leech of Michi most of the time...
[00:03] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- whips out her billfold and b[BLEEP]slaps neko-chan with it

[00:03] <Cést_la_V> Moh...
[00:03] <Cést_la_V> First of all, I don't wear Tommy Hilfigger...
[00:04] <FireFly_9> While commendable, that's hardly redemptive...
[00:04] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> gat a jib, bich
[00:04] <Cést_la_V> Oh, like YOU'VE ever had a job, aside from chasing down your daddy and letting Pegasus "ride" you!!
[00:05] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> ooo, I smell a catfight
[00:06] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> o yeah bich wat abut ur banina nat brad!!
[00:06] <Cést_la_V> None of your business!!
[00:06] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> or dat lat nite "sasage"!1
[00:06] <Cést_la_V> Oh really? Shall I talk about the "stables", Chibiusa-chan, and who exactly wears the "saddle"?
[00:07] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> ...
[00:07] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> fak
[00:07] *** .'~SugaBB_2999~'. [cndygrrl@gigaport.capitalnet.ct] has left #suburbansenshi (scoo U guyz im gong hm!!)

[00:07] <FireFly_9> Minako-sempai, that won't solve the issue... ever since you retired from being an idol, you've been less than active around the house... except when you're destroying other people's property...
[00:09] <Cést_la_V> ano...
[00:09] <FireFly_9> Between the repairs to the suspension, the upholstery and the engine, it's going to cost me--
[00:10] <Cést_la_V> All right, all right, I'm sorry...
[00:10] * Cést_la_V grabs a microphone

[00:11] <Cést_la_V> I didn't want to talk about this in public...
[00:11] <Cést_la_V> ...but I have a fatal condition...
[00:11] <=^catablanca^=> yes, it's called "terminal sloth"
[00:11] <Cést_la_V> ...and I have to rely on the kindness of others in these, my declining years of life....
[00:12] <=^catablanca^=> By my estimate, thanks to our exposure to the Silver Crystal, you're gonna be around for 1000 years easy.
[00:12] <Cést_la_V> Artemis, you're ruining the melodramatic tension!!
[00:13] <=^catablanca^=> It's got all the tension of a snapped rubber band.
[00:13] * Cést_la_V sighs

[00:14] <FireFly_9> I hate to say it, Minako-sempai, but I think it's time you...
[00:14] <Cést_la_V> NO!! I know I've been a little greedy and selfish, but I *do* care about all you guys!! I'll try to ship up and shape out!! Please don't make me leave!!
[00:15] <FireFly_9> Err, I was going to suggest it was time you got a job...
[00:15] * Cést_la_V faints dead away

[00:17] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Yeah really, you need some responsibility, I mean right now you are kind of like a freeloading gigolo...
[00:18] <Cést_la_V> I AM NOT SOME STUPID BEN AFFLECK MOVIE!!!
[00:18] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> lmao
[00:18] <H3LLI05> hey babe, you can be my gigolo / o just a strait ho
[00:19] *** spritflame has kicked H3LLi05 from #suburbansenshi (REASON: why are you here fool)

[00:19] * Cést_la_V shudders

[00:19] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> LOL he "powered you up" didn't he...
[00:20] * Cést_la_V shudders more

[00:20] <Cést_la_V> Oh yeah, well by that totem, Hotaru-chan "powered" YOU UP
[00:20] <FireFly_9> Leave me *completely* out of this bizarre farce, please...
[00:20] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Ewww
[00:21] <GERMATOID> YOU CAN BE MY LAB ASSISTANT FETCHING ME COFFEE, AND PLAYING TWISTER WITH ME! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
[00:21] *** Dr_Xadium has kicked GERMATOID from #suburbansenshi (REASON: There's only one person she plays Twister with)

[00:22] <Cést_la_V> X-chan!! Have you come to defend your damsel in distress!?!
[00:22] * Dr_Xadium is away: fixing TARDIS Chameleon circuit

[00:23] <Cést_la_V> MOH! Stop evading responsibility!!
[00:23] <FireFly_9> Start "taking" responsibility, Minako-sempai!
[00:23] *** GERMATOID [MadProf@ip667.m2net.ips.gakuenmugen.edu.jp] has joined #suburbansenshi

[00:23] <spiritflame> Irasshai GERMATOID
[00:23] <Cést_la_V> tsk
[00:24] <Cést_la_V> Artemis... it's time we told them the true story
[00:24] <=^catablanca^=> Mina...
[00:24] <Cést_la_V> They're going to misunderstand me forever unless they know...
[00:24] <=^catablanca^=> There is a reason... why Mina can't get a job...
[00:25] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- grabs some popcorn

[00:25] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Oh yeah, what
[00:25] <=^catablanca^=> She's a lazy good-for-nothing slob who likes being kept by Dr. X!
[00:25] <Cést_la_V> MOH! Be serious!
[00:25] <=^catablanca^=> okok
[00:25] <=^catablanca^=> She does have a slight... disadvantage when it comes to getting work...
[00:26] <GERMATOID> WHAT'S THAT
[00:26] <=^catablanca^=> You may not know this... but her resume, if you included all her past jobs, would be about 30 pages long
[00:26] <FireFly_9> You lie.
[00:27] * =^catablanca^= shakes his head

[00:27] <=^catablanca^=> Sorry, it's true...
[00:27] <Cést_la_V> I've never told this to anyone...
[00:27] <=^catablanca^=> But now the time has come.
[00:32] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> We're waitin'
[00:32] <=^catablanca^=> Well first there was the time Minako got an "F" on a science test and had to make up for it by taking a paid position her teacher had been suckered into as part of a bet with some dude from Mugen...
[00:33] <GERMATOID> MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[00:33] <=^catablanca^=> She was a "flatus odour" judge...
[00:34] <FireFly_9> You don't mean she...
[00:34] <=^catablanca^=> Yes, she had to analyze the scent of human flatulence...
[00:34] <Cést_la_V> It paid good too! But then there was that incident where there was a power outage in the lab during the middle of a test and to see I turned on one of the Bunsen burner-things...
[00:35] <=^catablanca^=> Yeah that opportunity kinda blew up in her face...
[00:36] <Cést_la_V> hai
[00:36] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> LMAO
[00:36] <=^catablanca^=> She didn't have eyebrows for a few weeks...
[00:37] <=^catablanca^=> Then there was the time she took a trip to the country and her dad got her a job working with her uncle, who was a cattle rancher... she worked with the bulls...
[00:38] * Cést_la_V shudders

[00:38] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> She get gored?
[00:38] <=^catablanca^=> not quite... she had to umm... well, you see, they used artificial insemination on some of the heifers, and someone had to collect the umm... stuff.
[00:39] * Cést_la_V cries

[00:39] <FireFly_9> Good god
[00:39] <GERMATOID> CHIBUSA MIGHT HAVE LIKED THAT JOB! MUAHAHAHAHAAHAAH!
[00:39] <Cést_la_V> I certainly didn't!!
[00:40] <=^catablanca^=> It all ended on the very first try, when... well.... remember one time, Haruka, when you were watching "those" kinds of videos, and we walked in on you and Hotaru said uhhh... how did it go?
[00:41] <FireFly_9> I said, "Hmph, if those perverts like having that disgusting stuff splattered on them like that, why don't they just fill up a bucket with the stuff, dump it over their heads and be done with it"... oh no, Artemis, you don't mean...
[00:42] <Cést_la_V> WELL AT LEAST I WASN'T THE ONE WHO MISTOOK A PETRI DISH FULL OF THE STUFF FOR MILK!!
[00:45] <=^catablanca^=> oh god help me
[00:45] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- chokes on her popcorn

[00:49] <=^catablanca^=> Then there was the time she joined the volunteer fire department...
[00:49] <Cést_la_V> I started more fires than I stopped...
[00:49] <=^catablanca^=> Including the one that destroyed the fire station...
[00:50] <Cést_la_V> :(
[00:54] <=^catablanca^=> Then there was the time she was hired to play Sailor V in one of those huge doll-like foam suits....
[00:55] <Cést_la_V> It was HOT in there!!
[00:55] <=^catablanca^=> She took her head off in the middle of the performance and scared the kids half to death...
[00:56] <Cést_la_V> I was dying!!
[00:56] <=^catablanca^=> Little Ichiro is STILL in therapy!
[00:56] <Cést_la_V> poor Ichiro-chan...
[00:56] <=^catablanca^=> And what about the time you were hired to play a clown at a kid's birthday party and ended up punching out the father of the house?
[00:57] <Cést_la_V> He was calling that baseball match all wrong!! He was cheating the other kids!!
[00:57] <=^catablanca^=> Ko-chan was going in for a LIVER transplant, they were throwing the game to make him FEEL better
[00:58] <Cést_la_V> HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT?!
[00:58] <=^catablanca^=> meh
[00:58] <=^catablanca^=> anyway, it;s a long sordid tale of failure and disgrace, that's "Minako's Work History"...
[01:00] <FireFly_9> ...
[01:00] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Man remember to never let me ask you to cut the lawn or something
[01:01] <Cést_la_V> tsk
[01:01] <FireFly_9> I refuse to believe she's completely unemployable...
[01:02] <GERMATOID> WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO BEING AN IDOL
[01:02] <Cést_la_V> I hate pepperoni
[01:02] <FireFly_9> "Papparazzi"...
[01:02] <Cést_la_V> A "Paparazzi" sounds like something you eat
[01:03] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Or a sports car
[01:03] <FireFly_9> You could be a video game tester...
[01:03] <Cést_la_V> I tend to break the consoles when I get frustrated...
[01:04] <FireFly_9> Well the point is, you can't keep imposing on others... I mean asking me to buy replacement *furniture* on a shopping run...
[01:05] <Cést_la_V> gomen
[01:05] <FireFly_9> I won't even *ask* how you managed to break it.
[01:05] <Cést_la_V> It wasn't my fault totally!!
[01:05] <FireFly_9> I don't want to hear it. I don't want to know.
[01:05] <Cést_la_V> gomen. Demo--
[01:06] <FireFly_9> NO.
[01:06] <Cést_la_V> hai.
[01:06] <FireFly_9> Now I don't know if rei.bot has broached the subject with you, but I have extended her an invitation to come live with us in this house.
[01:06] <Cést_la_V> But! It's a two bedroom house!!
[01:07] <FireFly_9> Xadium's TARDIS is large enough for you, I expect.
[01:07] <Cést_la_V> Why... am I to be displaced in my own home?!
[01:07] <FireFly_9> I hate to "pull rank" on you, but since I hold the mortgage...
[01:08] <Cést_la_V> NANI?!
[01:08] <Cést_la_V> Hotaru-chan?!
[01:08] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Holy crap a Coup!
[01:11] <FireFly_9> I'm doing this out of concern, Minako-chan...
[01:12] <Cést_la_V> You're kicking me out of the house?!
[01:12] <FireFly_9> Of course not! But as the one in charge... I will be entitled to enforce some *order* on the surroundings...
[01:12] <Cést_la_V> ....
[01:13] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Oh sh[BLEEP] people that's your [BLEEP]
[01:13] <=^catablanca^=> What do you mean?
[01:13] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> I kept Hotaru down, held her down, restricted her, suffocated her, diminished her spirit and kept her under my thumb for years... all that pent up resentment and frustration MUST be lingering.... and since she's psychologically incapable of harming me, her "Father" figure...
[01:14] <FireFly_9> I most certainly am *not*...
[01:15] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> I think she's gonna make you, the Freeloading Senshi, take the full force of her fascist tendencies...
[01:15] <FireFly_9> *FASCIST* TENDENCIES?!
[01:15] <Cést_la_V> No way, Artemis is the fascist!!
[01:16] <=^catablanca^=> what
[01:16] <Cést_la_V> he's a totalitarian always trying to encroach on my individual freedom!!
[01:17] <GERMATOID> YOU KNOW ABOUT THOSE THINGS?
[01:17] <Cést_la_V> Yeah it was in the glossary of the game manual for my Castle Wolfenstien expansion pack....
[01:17] <FireFly_9> ...
[01:17] <FireFly_9> I am not a fascist, nor am I totalitarian. You have 24 hours to move into the TARDIS, and rei.bot will take your room.
[01:18] <Cést_la_V> See, there she GOES!! Just like Artemis!!
[01:18] <=^catablanca^=> Oh really?
[01:18] * =^catablanca^= looks at Hotaru

[01:19] <=^catablanca^=> I think I'd like to stay in *your* room, Hotaru, if you don't mind...
[01:19] <FireFly_9> Please do.
[01:19] <Cést_la_V> Oh I see how it is!! You've formed your own "Axis of Weevils"!!
[01:19] <FireFly_9> From now on, if you want members of this household to do things, you will have to do your fair share *first*.
[01:20] <Cést_la_V> "From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs"!!
[01:21] <FireFly_9> Nice Try.
[01:21] <Cést_la_V> Moh!!
[01:21] <spiritflame> sorry for imposition
[01:22] <Cést_la_V> ...
[01:22] * Cést_la_V sighs

[01:22] <Cést_la_V> X-chan, I'm moving in again...
[01:22] * Dr_Xadium is away: fixing TARDIS Chameleon circuit

[01:23] <Cést_la_V> Maybe I'll go lend him a hand
[01:24] <=^catablanca^=> LOL so much for ever getting that fixed anytime this decade...
[01:25] * FireFly_9 looks off into the distance

[01:25] <FireFly_9> What is this feeling... of pride and accomplishment? I feel a surge of confidence, of renewal, as if by assuming this mantle of dread responsibility, I have become the captain of destiny, carefully guiding the fates of those entrusted to my keeping....
[01:26] * FireFly_9 wipes a tear from her eye

[01:26] <FireFly_9> Fear not, rei.bot-san, Artemis, Minako-sempai, Xadium-san... I, Tomoe Hotaru, humbly accept my calling and embrace my destiny, and I will lead you all to better times and a brighter future! Yes, yes! Excelsior!
[01:27] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- shrugs

[01:27] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Yeah well... don't worry about a damn thing Prof, Jed, Chibi, Michi and horse-face, Cap't Ten'ou'll make sure you guys get what's comin' to ya
[01:29] <GERMATOID> IS THAT A PROMISE OR A THREAT?! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*** Disconnected



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