*** Now talking in #suburbansenshi
*** Topic is '-= Wonder if Beryl should have advertised in Cosmo? =-'
<// J_Daito //> I am a meek apostle of the Lord
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> WTF?!
<// J_Daito //> For I hath been converted by the light
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Wha--?
<// J_Daito //>
<FireFly_9> What the devil...
<// J_Daito //> NO! What the Jesus! For thee blasphemous heathens are looking upon the New Testament of the Lord!
<FireFly_9> Surely you jest.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Uhh, 'Taru-chan, it *does* say "complete New Testament" on the cover.
<// J_Daito //> https://www.thomasnelson.com/consumer/product_detail.asp?sku=0718003586
<// J_Daito //> The homepage for this beacon of light
<FireFly_9> Let's look at the contents, shall we?

Blabs (Q & A)

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Blab with the Apostles, yo!

Love Notes from God

<FireFly_9> I do not even *want* to know what that means in the context of this prepubescent pablum...

Beauty Secrets

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Because of course the Bible tells us how to be beautiful

Truth or Dares

<FireFly_9> "Tell my what is in thy heart, Lot, else I dare ye to sit in this pile of fire ants for seven days and seven nights!"
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> OMG
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> from this review:
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> https://www.nypost.com/news/nationalnews/4575.htm

One beauty secret is for "Spiritual Facials."
"The fire of God's love burns out the sin the same way the hot steam routs the dirt out of your pores." This kind of relationship with God will do more to improve your looks than any amount of facials."

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> First of all, I've seen too much pr0n spam in my day, so I'm totally unable to read that correctly without conjuring up Hentai imagery.
<FireFly_9> A godly facial cleansing... I know quite a few sad Otaku in need of such a service. But I would have recommended a cutdown on oily foods, not a rapport with the almighty in order to solve that problem.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Some pimply-faced otaku can only be cured by divine intervention!
<FireFly_9> True.
<// J_Daito //> Testify!
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Oh what is this BS?
* --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- reads more of the first review

In one hypothetical question and answer, a girl asks, "How do you tell a friend that's your crush that you're into him without ruining your friendship?" Revolve counsels her: "You don't. Sorry. … God made guys to be the leaders. That means that they lead in relationships."

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> bull[BLEEP]
<// J_Daito //> This book is so correct!

"It looks totally like a magazine," says Sybert, a 19-year-old saleswoman at Loaves & Fishes Christian Store in Vista, Calif. She thinks it would appeal to young girls who might feel embarrassed carrying around a black leather tome.

<FireFly_9> And just what is wrong with carrying around a black leather tome?
<.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> facking gth grrl
<FireFly_9> I am not Goth, you irritating child.
*** Disconnected