I won't put it there again I swear!

:/

Anyway! Hi Hi Minna-san!! It's day 6 of the Suburban Senshi gift pool!! As a reminder, since we have far too many friends to by gifts for, we decided to just make a common gift pool. We all threw in 2,500 yen, and we had an advanced Tomoe Research Labs AI select a "keyword" for each of us. The AI then used that keyword to search Wish.com and ordered us an item matching that word for under 2500 yen. So now we're showing each other what we got, and Hotaru-chan will explain how the word relates to the gift!!

I'm here for Hotaru's murderous interpretations of everything <_<

It's not murderous, just common sense.

Common sense that's so metal

Let's get going

the next person selected for was: ratchet
their word was: ban
their item was:
  

...So I understand the face cream and the hairbows... but what's with the arm cuffs, especially in the third picture <_<

hshshshs datz 4 wen u aks ur men 2 bynd ur arms an den [BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP] ur [BLEEP] [BLEEP]

*0_0*

That kid is full of SUGOI ideas!!

Hmm that's what you would think but there's probably a ban on these products because it's used by disgruntled wives to do away with their useless husbands... as you can see the cuffs don't really attach, so what happens is the wife pretends to be bound and submissive by putting her wrists together as in the third picture, but when her husband comes in for the erotic fun times, she separates her wrists as in the second picture, takes the bow off her head and strangles him, and then is happy at the macabre result as in the first picture. The order of events is reversed in the ad to avoid husbands catching on but the symbolism could not be more clear. Green face for Hulk like rage - skin tone face for the clarity of resolute justice being dispensed and then white face for the happy funerary event afterwards where she can smile at the corpse of the dead wretch that had been ruining her life.

...man L dumping you by faking his death really f[BLEEP]ked you up didn't it

the next person selected for was: the intern
their word was: appear
their item was:
  

LOL I know what that appears like

it's like a d[BLEEP]k in the box yo

...

u kan uze tit 2 kip ur fanger kleen when ur

u kno hshshsh

...Chibiusa-chan your mind needs to be cleansed with fire

I thought it was a tool to collect fingerprints to fool biometric identity systems...

It might not hurt to test out other.... "applications?"

ewwww

Well while this might appear to be a simple severed finger or barely concealed sex aid, it's actually the tool of an assassin. You can clearly see it's too short to be a useful "toy" The way it works is that you are completely taken off guard by the outlandish appearance of the magicician and his dazzling lens flare. When he has you focusing on the red cloth, he gets you to lean in and stare at it intently, wt which point he whips away the cloth and shoots you in the eye with the severed finger, which penetrates not your orafices, but your brain as it buillet-like kills you.

* is sweating *

You're... really good at this... Hotaru-san <_<;

im jast tramatized

the next person selected for was: vermellia
their word was: fitness
their item was:
  

Those pockets would be useless they hug your butt too much!Anything you stick in your pockets would jab like heck!

what butt you aint got one yo

How do you know!?

I got this explanation. they're tight pants to show off your fitness!

Close but not quite. Yes they show off your fitness but with the sole purpose of attracting men to your shapely buttocks and thighs, so they desire to place their head between them, at which time you squeeze your thighs together and twist, snapping their neck like Sonya Blade did to Kano in the criminally underrated Mortal Kombat I (1995).

...you might need some help, love

for sure yo, if we wanted to try that she ain't thicc enough

I MEANT for her dark psychological interpretations of the gifts!

I ... don't think she needs any help at all *<_<;*

Thank you for your confidence in me, Lyrica-san.

A-Anytime...

...

the last person selected for today was: franziska
their word was: oral
their item was:
  

AHAHAHAHAAAHAHA

This is Slanderous! I do not have bad breath!! Tell them, Miles Edgeworth!

Edgeworth isn't in this chat lol

Detective Ema Skye!

I don't think you have bad breath, Ms. Von Karma

Don't think?! Be DECISIVE!

You're misinterpreting the advertisement. Allow me to explain.

Please do...

As you can see the ad copy says "Easily solve oral problems. And the image shows a happy, smiling woman blasting a man with "bad breath" to the point where he can barely breathe....

yes, yes?

One cannot live without breathing. So the spray, while Called breath freshening spray, actually gives the user bad breath so intense that when it strikes the intended target they desperately stop their breathing in order to protect themselves from the odor, asphyxiating and dying. It's used to kill close-talkers, who are annoying oral problems that like to invade your personal space. Thus the oral method of assassination which is perfect.

oh god that's brilliant~ ♥

I think... you have a new "fan" Hotaru-chan

eh?

Well that's it for today, minna-san! Join us tomorrow for the last day of the 2023 Suburban Senshi gift pool!!