Suburban Senshi IRC Chat #1008: “Newsday Tuesday”
#1008: “Newsday Tuesday”

July 25th, 2006

[07:47] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> It's time once again for Ginga TV's weekly round up of news in the world of anime, taken from the headlines of
[07:48] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> The Kingdom Hearts Volume 4 jumped from 111 to 73 on the USA Today Booklist for the week ending July 16.
[07:49] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> The fact that Disney's continuing desecration of anime with its hybrid cross-marketing scheme continues to be so wildly popular made many hearts jump -- withe blinding RAGE AND FURY.
[07:50] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Ara, what do you have against Disney, Akane-san?
[07:50] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> We don't have a year to go into it, Aya. Let's just say that if I had my way, Pluto would be stuffed very far up Uranus.
[07:51] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Gametap is now offering several Cartoon Network and Anime Network shows to subscribers, including Megaman's Upon a Star.
[07:53] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> The anime about a small Japanese boy who wishes upon the first star of the evening to become an armor-clad death dealing dreadnaught with the ability to clone powers and leave massive destruction in hsi wake has proven extremely popular in the latently frustrated homicidal triggerhappy gamer otaku demographic.
[07:54] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Gundam fan Daisuke "Dice-K" Enomoto will be dressed as Char Aznable when he takes off for the International Space Station in September.
[07:54] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Heh, Isn't Char the one with the mask?
[07:55] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> I think so?
[07:55] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Let's just hope he doesn't travel by way of the America spaceport then
[07:55] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Why?
[07:55] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Because then you'll be seeing this headline:
[07:57] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Char Aznable stripsearched by Hopmeland Security, suing the American Goverment for terminal loss of face after his faceplate set off a metal detector and he was forcibly cavity searched by overzealous TSA personnel, giving Gundam fans a little too much TNA. Well "A", anyway.
[07:57] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Del Rey has licensed Kitchen Princess, Mamotte! Lollipop, Mushishi, and Parasyte (formerly licensed by Tokyopop)
[08:00] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> With all these seemingly disparate licenses they plan to create a new manga in which a Lolicon French girl named Mamotte gets infected with a wisecracking Parasite named Mushishi that compels her to become a duelist in Kitchen Stadium, where she much either defeat Iron Chef Morimoto and become the Princess of Culinary Arts or slowly be devoured from the inside.
[08:01] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> On July 20th, Pokemon USA announced that Sara Natachame and Billy Rogers will play Ash and Brock.
[08:01] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> At the press conference, Billy Rogers allegedly said "Ash! I choose you!"
[08:02] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> In Related news, Billy Rogers was last seen going to the emergency room for multiple rabid Pikachu bites
[08:02] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Ara, that little Pikachu can be so jealous, can't it?
[08:03] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> They're the pit bulls of the Pokemon world.
[08:04] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> There have been 15.8 billion Yu-Gi-Oh cards sold Worldwide as of July 21st.
[08:04] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> 15.7 Billion of which were bought by my nephew.
[08:05] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> In related news, 15.79 Billion Yu-Gi-Oh cards were arbitrarily declared invalid by whoever does such things every year just to fleece the gamers.
[08:07] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> This clears the way for the new card 'Spendyenomon" who looks like a naked Ayumi Hamasaki rolling around in a pit of cash. The American version will have a business suit airbrushed on her, and her name will be "Dolla Dolla Doll"
[08:07] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Viz Manga has licensed the Shakugan no Shana Manga.
[08:08] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> In a followup to this story, Lolicons of America unite. In a Shana related Orgy.
[08:09] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> According to Toon Zone a newly redubbed Crayon Shin-chan will receive a "test run" on Adult Swim next month.
[08:09] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Pee-Wee Herman was allegedly elated at the news, asking anyone who would listen if they wanted to "come over to his playhouse and play with his 'Crayon Shin-chan'".
[08:11] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> In other news, Adult Swin has announced a new solid 4-hour block of Sid and Marty Kroft's "Far out Space Nuts" to replace whatever cool anime is Du jour right now.
[08:11] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Viz has picked up Lovely Complex for its Shojo Beat line. The manga will be titled LoveCom.
[08:12] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Love // .net and Love // .org to follow.
[08:12] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Seven Seas has licensed the Neconoclasm manga.
[08:13] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Parents in the American deep South are outraged, burning the manga after hearing their kids talking liberally about "acheiving Neconoclasm" in class and in the playground.
[08:13] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Neconoclasm. It's a part of life, jerks.
[08:13] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> A live action Afro Samurai movie starring Samuel L. Jackson and involving Christopher Nolan is in the works.
[08:14] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> There are motherf[BLEEP]king snakes. In the motherf[BLEEP]king Afro.
[08:14] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Funimation licenses Robotech: The Shadow Chronicles, plans theatrical release.
[08:16] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Controversial is their choice to rename one of the Veritech squads "The fighting Texans". This was done after a drunken brawl amongst the VAs got permanently attached to the sound track at mastering.
[08:17] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Hai, if you play it loudly enough you can hear the hero scream "I'm not just a monkey you redneck son of a b[BLEEP]ch!"
[08:18] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Manga is "ironing out the contracts" to release the Renewal edition of the Evangelion movies.
[08:19] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> The main sticking point appears to be who will be under the desk giving Hideki Anno pleasure as the Gainax Money machine is lubricated yet again with a fresh infusion of desperate Gaijin Otaku cashola.
[08:19] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> The Stand Alone Complex: Solid State Society film will be released next summer.
[08:20] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Masume Shirow is quoted as saying "It's over this time. Really. I swear."
[08:21] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Johnny Yong Bosch is Ichigo Kurasaki in the new Bleach dub.
[08:21] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Filler up. Next!
[08:21] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> In a press release announcing its acquisition of the Battle B-Daman: Fire Spirits game for Nintendo DS, Atlus USA also revealed the anime series will air on American TV "later this year."
[08:23] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Ginga's man on the street tells us the series will be renamed "Fiesty Kid" and re-edited to focus around a cute loveabel sidekick character to as to better appeal to the Soccermom demographic, who never watches the show anyway.
[08:24] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Quentin Tarantino says he wants to make two anime Kill Bill prequels: an origin film about Bill and his mentors, and an original tale with The Bride.
[08:25] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> However planning was scrapped after David Carradine slipped into his "Kung Fu" delivery style, causing the film's running time to bleed over six hours long for the opening monologue, which made the budget suffer a Ten-Point Deficit Attack.
[08:25] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Digital Manga has licensed the Moon and Sandals manga.
[08:26] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Tons of sweaty Sailor Moon Otaku were devastated to find out the series was not about Sailor Moon walking around in nothing but her sandals and a smile.
[08:26] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> The live action Honey and Clover movie debuted at #8 at the Japanese box office last weekend. Meanwhile, Pokemon fell from #2 to #3, Death Note from #6 to #7, and Lovely Complex from #7 to #9 in their second weeks.
[08:27] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Is this the "Death Note" for Pokemon? God, one can only hope.
[08:27] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> What's wrong with Pokemon? They're so cute and cuddly~
[08:28] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> What's wrong with Pokemon is that the "PokeMOMs" expect all anime to fit the same insipid mold
[08:29] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> LISTEN UP POKEMOMs of the world. Anime people BLEED, they cry, they CURSE, they KISS and do a hell of a lot more after that.
[08:30] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> In other words, tthey reflect 100% of life, not like your sanitized, scrubbed little peachy-keen kiddy grade "toon" tards who don't even go into the bathroom or WEAR PANTS.
[08:31] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Anime is exagerrated, yeah, but at the same time it's a much more comprehensive lens on the human condition than your genericized pablum could ever hope to be
[08:31] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> And that's why you FEAR IT.
[08:31] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> And that's why we'll WIN.
[08:31] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Ara, for someone who hates Otaku, you sure sound like one...
[08:32] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> I hate Otaku. Smelly, sweaty grimy little fanbois and girls who can't see past the TnA to what lies beneath, who squee at the Yaoi and the Yuri without appreciating the context around it
[08:33] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> But I don't hate the medium they claim to love.
[08:33] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Anime is a wide-ranging Genre that spans from absolute classic gold to absolute crap, just like any other
[08:34] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> I'm in it for the gold, Aya, Pokemoms are in it for the crap so they can leave their electric babysitters on all day without worrying that their kids might actually learn something about the world around them.
[08:35] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> What, that one geeky boy can have a harem of hot schoolgirls all wanting to "date" him? Or that the average cup size in Japan is D? Or that all your problems in life can be solved by a giant 40 foot tall Mecha that runs on rocket fuel?
[08:36] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> ...
[08:36] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> The standard trappings of 21st century fairy tales, Aya.
[08:36] * [gTV]Karasuma_Akane points to the TV Screen
[08:37] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Otaku, I hate you.
[08:37] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> But Pokemoms.... I hate you MORE.
[08:37] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Stop cheapening our Genre and GTFO our internet.
[08:37] *** [gTV]Karasuma_Akane [] has left #ginganetworknews
[08:38] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Wow, Akane-san is bitter today~ I guess it's because Dub Season will be coming soon.
[08:38] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Have a good week, everyone!!
[08:38] *** Disconnected
[08:38] *** Tue Jul 25 2006 - LOGGING END ***