Hino Rei is a graduate of Toyo Eiwa University who studied while managing Azabu-Juuban's Hikawa Shrine. She recieved a B.A. in Religious Studies from Toyo Eiwa in 2001, and a Master's in Business Administration in 2008.

Projects:


MiST: Ayaka Komatsu's "Figure A"

My Pixel Comic Collection:

Suburban Senshi S


01 - Superbad
02 - Portalcat
03 - Sayonara, Haruna-sensei
04 - Lowering the Bar
05 - Ice, Ice Baby
06 - Sellout
07 - Dirty Dancing
08 - Career Change
09 - Just putting it out there
10 - The Beast Within
11 - Gilded Awesome
12 - Enter the Craptrix
13 - catse.cx
14 - The Essence...
15 - Man Up
16 - Love Connection
17 - His Secret Sin
18 - Dangerous Liasons
19 - Strict Disciplinarian
20 - Do it fo Yo Mama
21 - Her Mental Might
22 - On Snappu!
23 - Spelling Counts
24 - Unspeakable Hobby
25 - Father's Day
26 - The Science of Gaming
27 - Sore Point
28 - Jack Thompson was Here
29 - Finally, the Answer
30 - Hindsight
31 - In the Eye of the Beholder
32 - Mine is bigger than yours... maybe.
33 - It was all part of the plan
34 - Unintended Consequences
35 - They call me Mister Perfect
36 - A day in the life of the Suburban Senshi
37 - Neopets
38 - Ice Burn
39 - And so, the talks broke down...
40 - Kawaii Firefly
41 - A new low
42 - Isn't it Obvious?!
43 - Hurt me, Baby!
44 - Fourth Meal
45 - Jedite in '08
46 - The Perils of Self-Insertion
47 - Bottom of the Barrel
48 - Thanks!
49 - Ubiquity
50 - Breaking Point
51 - Last of the Christmas Wine
52 - Way to go, Genius (Final)
Bonus 1 - Climbing out of the Hole

One Shots


Short Memories and Short Skirts
The Senshi Celebrate Xadium's Birthday (2007)
UNIT vs Torchwood
Money for Nothing
Mikey Jackson and Mikey Mouse
Kingdom Farts
The End of Inuyasha
The End of MotokiHaruka's contract for the rights to Sailor Moon T
The Senshi Celebrate Xadium's Birthday (2005)
Pervy user asks for Sexy Ami pics, We Deliver

Chibi Senshi


01 - Burnout

1-koma


Biological Clock

Mako-Chan's Closet


01 - The Awakening
02 - Rival

Indigo's Comic Corner


01 - Haruka the Heroic
02 - Fat Cat
03 - j00 got served!
04 - Semper Ubi Sub Ubi
04a - Saki Saga
05 - Taru is Emo
Omake 01 - The Kingmaker
Omake 02 - In the name of the Dark I will Punish You

Ginga TV Ads, etc.


01 - Sporehammer 40k
02 - Everyone Likes Yai
03 - Shinjesus v. Haruhi
04 - Chibiusa Hilton Sex Tape (NSFW for brain)

Suburban Senshi
Episode 20: South Park Style


01
02
03
04

Suburban Sims


Early Screen Test. (an Extra was harmed in)
Morpheus forces himself on Elios
Pilot (only episode ever produced)

Chibiusa Pronotional poster
Elios Promotional poster
Haruka Promotional poster
Hotaru Promotional poster
Jedite Promotional poster
Michiru Promotional poster
Minako Promotional poster
rei.bot Promotional poster
Professor Tomoe Promotional poster
Dr. Xadium Promotional poster
Group Promotional Wallpaper

Sailor V Reissued Manga Parodies


Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week 5
Week 6

Suburban Senshi Valentine's


2004 - Minakos' Valentine's plot
2005 - I - Haruka and Michiru
2005 - II - Motoki and Kame
2005 - III - Mina and Xadium
2005 - IV - Chibiusa and Elios

Artemis' Divorce Trial


Minako's Pretrial Discovery re: Luna's Loves
01 - You got Served
02 - Disorder in the Court
03 - Going through the Motions
04 - First Witness - Komfy Kat
05 - Mother Superior
06 - Daddy's Little Girl
07 - Animal Attraction A>
08 - Oh, My Spaceman!
09 - The Shooting Star
10 - Huggie Bear
11 - EPISODE FINAL: Judgment Day

Extra - Draft of page one of the manga
Extra - Draft of page two of the manga

Suburban Senshi Photo Album
By Indigo


01 - Drunken Haruka post-Bday
02 - Ail and Ann picket for facetime in Sub.Senshi
03 - Pets or Meat

Suburban Senshi Sprite Theatre


01 - Smacko Jacko
02 - Turnabout, Intruder!
03 - Just Because
04 - On the Job with Chiba M.

Chibiusa Sprite
Elios Sprite
Haruka Sprite
Hotaru Sprite
Jedite Sprite
Michiru Sprite
Minako Sprite
rei.bot Sprite
Sakura Sprite
Setsuna Sprite
Tomoe Sprite
Xadium Sprite
Regenerated Xadium Sprite
Yaijinden Sprite
Group Shot

Get Your Senshi On
Warning: Political


01
02
03
04
05

Suburban Senshi Clipart comics


01 - Haruka's First Parenting Lesson

Sakura's Steampunk Sillies


01 - Care Bear

Suburban Senshi Pixel Manga


001 - "The Gift"
002 - "No Hard Feelings"
003 - "Keeping Up With the Ainos"
004 - "Cooking Up a Little Something Extra"
005 - "Hunter B. Hunted"
006 - "The Cat's Meow"
007 - "Kitty Glitter"
008 - "Cat Walk"
009 - "Dark Passions"
010 - "What's your Price?"
011 - "A Pound of Flesh"
012 - "The Cat is the Hat"
013 - "Future Shock"
014 - "P.O.W."
015 - "Marching Orders"
016 - "Bad Moon Rising"
017 - "The Dark Prince Returns"
018 - "Immortal Kombat I"
019 - "Deep Geekery"
020 - "Blast Supper"
021 - "Clip Show #1"
022 - "Mina's Great Escape"
023 - "Invincible"
024 - "Priorities"
025 - "It came from Future Space"
026 - "Oh no, Ten'ou"
027 - "Sporenography"
028 - "Girl Power"
029 - "Desperation"
030 - "Traumatized"
031 - "The Jedinator"
032 - "Back from the Future"
033 - "Mel Gibson's Sailormoon"
034 - "Scary Movies"
035 - "Ambition"
036 - "Revelation"
037 - "bene diction"
038 - "Beating a Dead Horse"
039 - "Lost in Translation"
041 - "Righteous Indignation"
042 - "Retirement Age"
043 - "The Stuff of Legend"
044 - "Nightmare I - Kaioh"
045 - "A Dish Best Served Cold"

Sailor V: Year Five


046 - "Through the Looking Glass"
047 - "A New Path"
048 - "Higher Education"
049 - "Higher Education II"
050 - "Higher Education III"
051 - "In the Heat of the Night"
052 - "Fire Soul"
053 - "Fire Soul II"
054 - "The Rabbit and the Hat"
055 - "Stalling" (Sub, Senshi, not Sailor V)
056 - "Stalling II" (Sub. Senshi, not Sailor V)

Suburban Senshi:
The NEW Season!
By SaturnGrl


01 - "Temptational Leaps"
02 - "Unlikely Methods"
03 - "Down in da Hood"
04 - "Ignorance is Bliss... in the TARDIS"
SPECIAL - Happy anniversary!
05 - "Back to Business"
06 - "Maxx Power! Cometh!"
07 - "Fruits of Labor = Pains of Pleasure!"
08 - "Silence of the Slams!"
09 - "Meanwhile... Arty out on the Town"
10 - "Arty, hooked up, yo!"
SPECIAL - Holiday Greetings!

Archives


June 2009
February 2009
December 2008
September 2008
August 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
January 2008
October 2007
September 2007
June 2007
May 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
November 2006
August 2006
April 2006
January 2006
December 2005
July 2002
June 2002
November 1999
December 1998
November 1998
September 1998
August 1998


MIST - Ayaka's "Figure A"

March 25th, 2008 by Hino Rei

Suburban Senshi MiST: Komatsu Ayaka's "Figure A"

Hino Rei here. I managed to find the old materials for a MiST that my fellow "Suburban Senshi" never got done a few years back, of an idol video from Komatsu Ayaka called "Figure A". (Obviously the title doesn' apply to her cup size :P)

There were some notes left by the others back in December '06, so I'll leave those in and take over where they left off having never seen the video myself (this should be fun, huh?) Oh, and they'll be chiming in from time to time too, apparently.


Jedite: Damn that Ten'ou, running off and getting engaged to Kaioh so she wouldn't have to review this stinker of an idol DVD.
Hotaru: It's not like they did that just to avoid a MiST, you know.
Artemis: After the Miyuu thing, I'm not so sure...
TOMOE: HEY THIS ONE IS 50 MINUTES LONG, DO YOU THINK KOMATSU WILL SAY MORE THAN FIVE LINES?
Jedite: You mean more than "Ayaka loves you long time, baby?"


TOMOE: THIS RIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LAUGHING MAN
Jedite: Yes, he laughs... at our pain.
Artemis: You know, it's a good thing we cats always looks like we're smiling, because that way no one can tell I'm crying inside.


Jedite: So much for foreplay.
TOMOE: SHE WASN'T KIDDING WHEN SHE SAID YOU'D GET TO KNOW ALL OF HER BODY REALLY WELL! MUAHAHAHAHAH!
Rei's note: I think she said that in the promo literature for this video
Hotaru: This reminds me of that horror movie where supermodels were all digitized and killed off.
Artemis: Well they're making no secret of the true purpose of this DVD. I bet this menu transition is its own loopable segment.
Me: And if not, you can always stare at this tiny .GIF all day... :P


Hotaru: And now we get "tactical" displays of "vital" information, like this, her birthdate (1986 / 07 /23)
Jedite: Smart of them. This way we know she's legal, and we're forced to abandon any and all pedo jokes.
Artemis: But without pedo jokes, what good is an idol video MiST?
TOMOE: WELL AT LEAST KOMATSU DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A FIVE YEAR-OLD
Me: Well that just leaves room for Rina Koike's Idol video <_<

LOL and that was ALL they did for this video... the rest of this scary task is all left up to me. I feel kind of like an Archæologist coming across a trove of pictures and not knowing the context of how to interpret them..


So... Bust... Waist.. hips... and... a fourth number... what, is that her ANKLE Diameter? Are fanboys that obsessive that they want to know how slim her ANKLES are?

(Jedite is making a "chickenlegs Ayaka" joke behind me here)
Tomoe-hakase: "It feels like we're looking at plans for our own Artificial Ayaka."
Minako-chan: "I think the parts labeled '80cm' are already artificial :/"


"Eyes." Okaaay.... yes, she has eyes. And she's using them to stare. Into our souls....
Is this some kind of guilt trip being laid on the pedos watching the video, i.e. "You stare at me, I'll dig deep into your poisoned otaku soul?"


Okay, now she's starting at herself. Curiously. As if she doesn't know what she's looking at.
Jedite thinks that she's had one too many plastic surgeries and is confused.
Elios thinks it's clever way for them to offer up her bare shoulder right into the camera for fanboys to... what... LICK!? God Elios you're a pervert.
Heh, Haruka-san is right, he's their exact target demographic.
NO, Elios, I don't think her shoulder looks like a tempting ice cream cone.


Okay, she's taking a shot of something in her hotel room. Since all I have is the prior shot to go on, I'm assuming that she's taking a picture of HERSELF. In the MIRROR. What. Just WHAT.
LOL @ Haruka-san: "Me Ayaka love MYSELF long time."
NO, NOT IN THAT WAY ELIOS GOD


Now she's looking out her hotel room like a deer caught in headlights.

Minako-chan: "Director-san, are you sure I have to go out wearing *that*?
Hotaru-chan: "Ano, what are all those legions of fat overweight otaku doing there?"
Motoki-san: "To the batmobile!" (huh?)


....

Haruka-san: "Giant Ayaka is giant."
Jedite: "This video doesn't beat around the bush, does it?"
Tomoe-hakase: "Giant tracts of Ayaka... MUAHAHAHAHA"
Minako-chan: "With these gifts I prove to you I'm no Sawaii Miyuu!"


What the hell is that cherry strategically placed?!
(Everyone else is looking at me like I'm an idiot right now)

Haruka-san: "Mmm... lickable~"
Michiru-san: "Don't you DARE!"
Elios is making some kind of joke about milk in bags. I don't get it.


"Lip." What, she's only got one? Or are we supposed to look at just one? YES WE KNOW IT'S A LIP SO WHAT WHO CARES


Apparently everyone here is comparing these shots to something Sawaii Miyuu did her her idol video with shiskabob...

Haruka-san: "Ooh, Ayaka's raising her game here..."
Elios: "I wanna be that lollipop, yo!"
Chibiusa-chan: "fak i dew dat sit all da tym"
Jedite: "Dammit if she wasn't legal I could have said 'A Lolicon with a Lolipop'".
Hotaru-chan: "Oh, this is barely legal, all right."
Haruka-san: "Only if you have an impure mind, LOL 'Taru is impure."
Now Hotaru-chan is chasing her with the Silence Glaive. Great. ><


Okay why are we looking at a burnt out truck up on blocks in someone's backyard?

Haruka-san: "WELCOME TO THE DEEP SOUTH, MINNA-SAN!"
Elios: "Oh yea, is dat where you and Michiru are cousins, yo?"
(Haruka-san just punched Elios in the face. This pleases me.)


Ami-chan: "Note the visual composition of a hot, red, stiff, long object in proximity to the seated female, legs spread."
(Everyone, including me, is staring at her)

THANK YOU FOR BREAKNG MY BRAIN AMI-CHAN. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

Elios: "Ridged, for her pleasure."

AGGGH.


Haruka-san: "CAPTION GAME! I'll start: 'your soul is mine'"
Tomoe-hakase: "ARE YOU PIRATING THIS DVD?!"
Ami-chan: "I can see where your hands are!"
(Again, everyoen stares. She blushes.)
(Minako-chan and Hotaru-chan are too scard by the feral glare to reply)
Hotaru-chan: "Can't sleep... Ayaka will eat me"
Elios: "She can eat me anytime, yo."


Hands. Right. (I really don't know what to say to this micro anatomy lesson the video seems intent on giving out) They certainly look clean.

Elios: "Hands... cupping... squeezing... yeah baby, yeah...."

UGH.


Now she's wearing Cammo and painting on a sheet in the middle of the grass. Okay...

Elios: "Whoa her knockers are HUGE yo!"
Hotaru-chan: "What?"
Elios: "Look at that cleavage, yo!"
Me: "Those are her KNEES and LEGS, idiot!"
Elios: "Oh.. damn, thought they let it all hang out there for a second."
Haruka-san: "Well see, she's legal right, and this has automaically turned off the pedo demographic. So to try and get some of them back, they dress her up like a little kid with that lopsided ponytail that looks like Xena chopped off one of Chibi's ponytails by accident with the Chakram and have her do kid-like things so that she can entice some of the pedos back, like an AV video version of a puppy."

It scares me that Haruka-san has such insight into these kinds of things. It really does.


Haruka-san: "SHE'S ATTACKING THE SCREEN!"
Elios: "I'd like to think she's sensually rubbing paint all over my body, yo."


Haruka-san: "Lick my fingers clean.. you know you want to..."
Sakura-chan: "Is this some sort of subliminal signal to get down and dirty with Ayaka?"


Hotaru-chan: "She's making a tree of Sephiroth..."
Haruka-san: "LOL her painting looks better than Michiru's"
Michiru-san: "..."

Ow I felt that smack that Haruka-san just got.


Tomoe-hakase: "Under this blanket I'm TOTALLY naked!"
Haruka-san: "Under my clothes I'm totally naked too."

Don't remind us, Haruka-san. Don't remind us.


Oh look. She's wearing a polka dot bikini and shorts. Oh WOW. :P
Elios: "Two'a dose dots be strategically placed... let me gets da Photoshop, yo~"
(I punch him out.)


Hair. Yeah, that's all I can really say about that. Oh, there's a lens flare in there too. (yawn)
Elios says I just don't understand the subtle underpinnings of this video. I guess not.


Okay we've gone from the deep south to an airstrip, where she stands in front of a plane. And the others are telling me from wjhat they remember that the soundtrack to these scenes were actually DDR tracks. Oy.
They want a joke from me now, because this is a MIST.
Well I don't HAVE one. It's AYAKA standing in front of a PLANE. NOT DOING ANYTHING. JUST... STANDING THERE. IT'S SO STUPID MY SOUL FEELS LIKE IT'S GOING TO IMPLODE OKAY?!


Okay fine her hair si doing something, it's FLUTTERING in the Breeze. HAPPY NOW?


You could land an Airbus on that forehead. Even Taiki-san's forehead was smaller than that.
Elios is chastising me, saying that I'm supposed to be ogling. OGLING WHAT!!
Everyone is tryin to calm me down now.


Battered, open-air, possibly post-apocalyptic structure. Check.
Utter desolation beyond the scope of the human mind to process. Check.
Japanese girl in Bikini. Check.
WHICH OF THESE THREE DOES NOT BELONG?!


Yes, Elios, I see that if you tighetn the shot just right to avoid straps the video makes ehr look naked.
Yes, Elios, I can see how a potential AV customer might find that enticing.
AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ELIOS I SEE WHERE YOUR HANDS ARE

UGH. This is why they couldn;t do this video before, isn't it. I don't care who you are, there's only so much looking you can do at a barely-legal kid running around half-naked just posing anf beign suggestive before your soul wants to burst out of your body like a face-hugger thing in Aliens and eat you alive to save your sanity.
Okay, Tomoe-hakase, Minako-chan, Ami-chan, Haruka-san and Hotaru-chan ALL just corrected me that it's not the face-hugger that comes out it's a "chest-burster". WHATEVER. The only chest I see bursting here is Ayaka's and I'm SICK OF IT.


Yes, Ami-chan, we note the proximity of her half-naked self to a long hard brown pole. And yes, Elios, it's ridged. And my WILL TO LIVE IS DYING.


MY ISN'T THAT A LOVELY PAIR OF COCONUTS YOU HAVE THERE
I MEAN LITERALLY YOUR BIKINI CUPS MAKE THEM LOOK LIKE COCONUTS
AAHAHAH ISN'T THAT FUNNY AAHAHAHHA AHAHAHAHA AHAHA
Minako-chan keeps telling me to put the pictures away and stop for a while

Legs. Okay, AND? AND?

She's lying on the bed, looking into the headboard, posed like she's talking... to the headboard. YES ELIOS I know where the TARGET AUDIENCE is supposed to be staring, but that doesn't make it look any LESS INSANE NOW DOES IT?!

Okay, yeah, my blood pressure is going up. I'm sitting here, watching her drinking WATER. Someone PAID to see her DRINK water. Now I know why Minako-chan wanted to be an idol so bad. This is Money for NOTHING. You see that smile in her eyes there? That's her going "AHAAHAHA you stupid sucker paying 3000 yen for a video of me DRINKING WATER in my SHORTS and TANK TOP."

The others have left. I think they're scared of me right now.

And there's the guilty look in her eye that says "Oh god maybe they'll catch on to me." It's a thematic showing of her recognition that with the passing of time she'll get old and bloated like Melissa Joan Hart let herself become and then she'll no longer be able to trade on her looks and be able to charge horny young people obescene amounts of money to watch her run around in her swimwear and casual clothing.

...either that or the cinematoographer has no damn clue what he's doing now and is just padding time to fill out the DVD runtime.


And we close with a shot of her running through the forest enjoying the power of her verdant youth or something. I dunno. I don't care. I'm glad this damn video is over. I hate it. Even though I was just working off photos from it I HATE IT. I hate what it represents both fr the idol and her desperate audience and for the fact that I had to WATCH IT. I think I have stigmata of the eyeballs now. I may have to go back to T*A and let the nuns whack me on the head with their rulers a half dozen times for this. I wear I'm never doing another AV review again.


Okay this shot was from the extras or something and it's SO CREEPY. I mean look at it. A half-naked girl, clinging to herslef against the wind surrounded by a HUGE crew of older men telling her how to pose and what to do. If you look at it thematically it's like her the performer and the leering audiences staring at every inch of her. UGH it makes me ill.

Minako-chan is reminding me it also probably made her rich, and that Ayaka chose to do it. But geez, this isn't some 25 something actress, this is a barely post-high school age kid. I dunno, I went into this trying to make as many jokes as I could, but by the end it's like "thank god it's over" and it's not really THAT funny except when you think about what exactly people are willing to pay for.

I'm going to go lie down and take an aspirin now. And you know what the sick thing is... if I was an idol, they'd probably be able to sell a shot of me sucking down Tylenol.

NO ELIOS I'M NOT JEALOUS WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU



Just getting some things sorted out

March 24th, 2008 by Hino Rei

Wow life just has a way of getting away from you, doesn't it? I was going through some of the old logs at this chatroom I hang out on, and noticed a project a few friends of mine were working on-- a review of one of Komatsu Ayaka-san's idol videos. It never got done, and I think I might get around to finishing it up and posting it here-- if it doesn't violate the T*A TOS that is <_<



  Oh I remember that thing, Rei-chan... kekeke
C'est_la_V 05:05 PM 03/24/08

  Hey, Rei-chan! Nice page! ^_^b
IrnChef_Jovian 05:05 PM 03/24/08

  I look forward to your analysis.
Mizunomics01 05:06 PM 03/24/08

  I look forward to the bikini shots, yo~
Reverend_H 05:06 PM 03/24/08


Saying LOL and moving on

March 3rd, 2008 by Hino Rei

Heh. I've finally got those little jerks out of my system. Those disgusting perverts and their sick crossplay were so hard to get out of my mind, especially when they had the nerve to try and play me-- me as a Lesbian. I mean fafic and doujin are bad enough, but live action cosplay... good god!

But, thanks to Karasuma-san, I realized just how lame they actually are, how desperate for attention they've gotten, and I've decided to just say "LOL" and move on with my life. They can have their three-way orgies in whatever rat-infested hole they hang out in, I know that at the end of the day my life and mty legacy will be looked back upon with a hell of a lot more appreciation and respect than a junior-league Planet Hentai Swinger's Club ever will.