T-4272: Day of Defeat
Laughter cascaded through the darkened, pitch-black sky as Chaos Galaxia watched the "Light of Hope", the sword forged out of the heart of her liberated Sailor Crystal, Chibi-Chibi, crack and crumble into dust as Neo-Princess Serenity watched on, sad for what had happened to the small girl, but unwavering in her belief that fighting was Not The Way.
"It's all over!," Galaxia bellowed as the Sailor Starlights looked on in shock and betrayed suffering. "The Light of Hope you believed in is now in pieces! Now, no one can stop me!"
"No! You're wrong!" Serenity shot back, eyes brimming with the defiance of the righteous. "No! You're wrong! Nothing is gained by fighting! Because we end up hurting each other!"
"Hmph!" Galaxia snorted. "You don't have a soldier's courage or pride, do you?" She looked down contemptuous against the naive fool who dared challenge her. This blasted child! Blessed by her macigcla crystal that had easuily given her one victory after another, what did she know of sacrifice? What did she know of the pain of losing one's self to Chaos in order to seal it? how dare she lecture the one who had given everything-- her entire being-- to being peace and safety tot he galaxy for so long!
Eyes filled with steely resolve, and furled by her sureness of her righteousness, Serenity continued, locking gazes with Galaxia. "If a soldier's pride means hurting one another, I don't want it!"
"What?!" Galaxia hissed in rage, taken aback by this spitting upon the very philosophy that had guided her life as a Sailor Solider. "Have you given up, Sailor Moon?"
Slowly, Serenity issed forth a reply from the depths of her heart, her voice getting stronger and louder as she continued. "No, I haven't! I love this world!Even though there are lots of sad or difficult things...... I like this world very much because I could meet everyone! I know you know....how wonderful this world is!"
The young woman looked up to Galaxia, hoping, praying that her words would reach the noble spirit of Galaxia trapped in the chaos-wracked frame standing before her. She began to rise up to meet her eye to eye
Galaxia did not pause, her anger growing more by the second. "Stop joking! This world can't be protected by someone who won't fight! It's because of your weakness that all your friends are gone!" Her fists trembled with rage. It had been so easy to take the crystals of thsoe senshi. They barely even put up a fight. What the hell was wrong with them? Did no one else care about doing their duty as warriors against the terrors of the night? Were they ALL as spineless as this one?
"They're not gone!!" Serenity cried out. "The Starlights told me... that if I don't give up, they're always with me! It's possible that everyone is really gone when I give up. So, I won't give up! Never!"
Galaxia's rage grew as her face grew into a mask of hatred. "How vain! By giving up fighting and losing your soldier's pride...what can you do?" She unsheathed and extended a black blade, crackling with Chaotic force, its power boosted by her own rage at the antics of the little girl who seemed to have no conception of how things worked in the universe at all. Did the think her little toy gave her the right to spit in the eye of the others who had to suffer through pain, grief and loss to achieve the pyhrric victories that barely held back the demons at the edge of the world?!
Serenity kept coming closer to Galaxia. "I won't give up! Because I believe! The world I love... this world everyone tried to protect... ..that small hope left in your heart! I believe in it!"
A blinding white ki aura lashed out from Serenity as the pure brilliance of her beliefs shrouded her body in a cloak of hope, sincereity and hope for the future. The universe itself shook from the power of her heart reverberating out through the stars. She reached out a hand to Galaxia.
"Believe in this," Galaxia said coldly, bringing her sword down in a swift stroke, the sharpened hatred of its blade tearing into the shoulder of Serenity, a gusher of blood exploding outwards into the space between them. As chaotic force began to ravage Serenity from within, her blue eyes went dark, and her soul whimpered "no..." weakly.
no... i reject....
Faced with the cold hard truth of Galaxia's blade rending her body, Serenity was in shock, both physical and mental. Here was someone her high-sounding words had failed to reach-- a being whose convictions and beliefs were equal... and opposite to her own. Just as she believed in the overarching power of goodness to heal, so too did Galaxia believe in the power of Chaos to corrupt. And Galaxia's own desire to protect, to bring order and peace to the univere by any means neccessary, the resolve she had forged aeons ago fighting the Chaos Senshi that had sacked her world-- that primal desire to avenge, to cleanse, to prevent it from ever happening again-- it was winning.
Serenity knew her life was ending. The Blade was pressing through her flesh, severeing nerve, tendon, muscle, vein and artery. But she could not-- must not allow this to pass. She had stopped Metallia before via force of will-- this would be no different.
Willing every last particle of her being to this end, Serenity used the part of her that had become Ginzuishou over the years to divert, shape and flow reality. She pulled herself and Galaxia down into the core of the planet, the rock and mantle swirling and reforming around them, hollowing out a giant cave where they now stood in a pocket of atmosphere, a large howling black plain upon which the warriors stood, almost frozen.
Around them, time changed. Serenity and Galaxia appeared in the sky again, recreated, and this time, as Serenity wished, Galaxia's blade broke, and the warrior broke free of her bonds, becoming pure and reviving all her victims. The world was saved by the purity of a young girl, as it should be. Everyone lived, and everyone was happy. Time moved on for the universe, and history recorded the world as being saved. It didn't seem to be any different than the miracle that had reshaped the world after Metallia's attack some years ago.
But it was. Even as a part of Usagi-- her Id-- continued to live her life in peaceful bliss on the surface of this remade world, living and loving and even time traveling to the 31st Century, deep in the bowels of the planet. her original body remained standing almost perfectly still, Galaxia's blade tearing into it nanometer by nanometer. The grains of sand were falling in the hourglass of life that defined the existence of this new Earth. For once the blade-- now held back only by Serenity's Ego and super Ego-- finally cut down the real Serenity, like a rubber band stretched to breaking, the world she had saved would shatter back to Galaxia's vision-- a blasted, ruin hunk in space filled with naught but her battle thralls.
But no one knew of this horrible sword of Damocles that hung over the world... not consciously anyway.
Sakura Xadium Aino stood at the controls of her TARDIS, hands gripping the shiny polished steel surface of one of the main panels.
It had been just a few short hours since FBI agent Fox Mulder-- obsessed with following up on a strange common message being found in the memories of alien abduction victims undergoing hypnotic regression-- had triggered the end of the world.
Pulling away at the console with all her hybrid strength as a Time Lord and a Sailor Soldier, she began to rip the frame apart, wincing the metal warped, circuits sparked, and a strange glow began to shoot out from the console-- the first rays of power from the power source of the TARDIS-- a link to the fantastic energies that lay at the singularity point of a black hole.
Soon, Sakura knew, that power would be released, and it would tear into her body, suffusing her energy just before tearing her apart into nothing more than leptons. But in that instant before she went-- she would have total power. For one instant of planck time, she could channel that force. And channel it she would. Wistfully, she remembered.
Remembered how earlier that day Mulder had come to the house looking for Sailor Moon. Remembered how he had told the fantastic tale that subjects under hypnosis all claimed to see a bloodstained blond girl standing at the end of the world, so tired, so loney, in such pain. Remembered how he had found the American transfer student, Serena-- an alternate universe version of Usagi herself (although she did not know this) and hypnotized her, thinking he was going to hack into the mind of some kind of god-force that ran the world.
Fox Mulder tried to touch the mind of God. Instead, he tapped into the mind of Serenity, which, already weakened due to its slightly insane Id having time traveled away to the future, and so tired of being stuck in seemingly infinite detente with Galaxia-- released its ego into Serena, finding the freedom it so desperately sought. As Serena left to live her life possessed by the ghost of her alternate self, Serenity's Superego, now unsupported, began to falter.
At the center of the Planet, Galaxia's blade sped up, cutting faster now. Serenity's life began to ebb. The world began to waver and crack, its restored matrix, the embodiment of a martyr's final wish, beginning to fall apart.
At the same time, other forces were converging. Among other things, the energy waves from the 31st century time gate explosion that had occured after Sailor Mercury's failed bid for power had finally reached Earth of the present. If they hit Serenity, her weakened body would surely fail, and her illusion would end, everyone's lives crashing and burning to a horrible halt.
Yes, Sakura thought, as she tore apart her beloved TARDIS, the Time and Space machine she had rebuilt with her own bare hands, the energies of the Eye of Harmony lashing into her, killing her, empowering her. If she did nothing, the world would end in just under five days. But if she took the power of the vortex within her, and spread it out with her dying breath, she sould make a barrier-- a barrier that would hiold back the end... for 66 days. After that, the world would implode into pure Chaos.
"Save Serenity II..." Sakura said, sounding confident to the end, even as she died, her TARDIS exploding around her and fusing with her energy to create a barrier against the oncoming storm. "Save her, before it's too late. Stop Galaxia from killing her, or in 66 days, it's all over."
And with that, Sakura Xadium Aino was dead, herself and her TARDIS exploding into an arc of golden light that tore across the heavens and space and time.
Soul Society, The Other World
"So you bastards," 11th division Captain Kenpachi Zaraki, a tall, muscular and quite insane Death God with long spiked hair-- cackled, brandishing his mottled, chipped and damaged Zanpakutou, (soul slayer) blade, Who wants to take me on?"
There were over 500 seated officers from various divisions of the 13 squads of Soul Society-- the spiritual guardians of the afterlife-- watching on and shaking theior heads, muttering. Zaraki was beyond insane. He was a fighting juggernaut who had risen to his position as Captain by killing the previous captain of the 11th squad. He fought with sheer brute force and even kept one eye covered by a patch so as to contain his immense spiritual power and give his enemies more of an advantage. No one was fool enough to challenge him for the captaincy of the 11th squad-- no one who wanted to remain alive, anyways. Well as alive as anyone in Soul Society could be.
"I'll take you ALL on!" Zaraki bellowed, the gleeful bloodlust in his voice carrying across the assembled throngs. "Come on, doesn't anyone here want to give me a good fight!?"
"No one would DARE challenge you, Ken-chan!" chirped Kenpachi's lieutenant, the short and adorably cute little girl Yachiru Kusajishi.
There was a loud cry from the sky above. All heads turned to look at the source of the noise.
"Hmm?" Zaraki asked curiously, back turned to the source of the sound, only slowly turning to face it.
From high in the air, covered in golden energy, plummeting from high orbit, having somehow breached the dimensional plane, the spirit of Sakura Xadium Aino, clutching her sword in a desperate attempt to balance, screamed through the sky at stupidly high speed. Literally and vocally.
As Kenpachi finally locked onto the source of what he guessed was a battle cry, he was smashed through three hundred feet of pavement by the out of control Time Lord landing directly atop him. After the dust of the terrible explosion subsided, everyone flocked to the rim of the gigantic crater in the middle of the 11th squad grounds.
Sakura moaned, half-concious, twitching in pain, hand clutching the blade of her sword Arataka. Under her, knocked out cold due to the chance supersonic impact, was the prone form of Zaraki Kenpachi.
"11th Squad Captain Zaraki Kenpachi has been defeated!" A generic death god yelled in shock as a murmur ran through the crowd. "By an unknown outsider!"
TEN MINUTES LATER
"I have looked into your soul, and it is pure, the carrier of the Blood to Vanquish Evil of the Shinguuji clan. Your soul would have come here anyway. Under the rules of Soul Society," the First Divison captain intoned, stroking his long beard, "since you defeated a sitting Captain in front of at least 200 witnesses, Sakura Xadium Aino, I hereby bestow upon you the rank of Provisional Captain. You will lead the third squad until a permanent replacement from within our ranks can be arranged."
Sakura just blinked and nodded dumbly, not even quite sure where she was. She didn't even know when the black robes of the Shinigami and white captain's jacket of 3rd division had been slipped on her.
So much for the peace of the Grave.
T -20: She is Arisen Once More
2281 - SPACE STATION BABYLON 5
A monument to war. A testament to man's desire to fight for peace. The hub of events that had reshaped the galaxy. This "UN / Times Square" in space had been home to over a quarter millions souls in its heyday-- but now, the antiquated space station was all but abandoned, a harzard to navigation.
From a safe distance aboard her shuttlecraft, Earth Alliance Admiral Susan Ivonova watched with no small measure of nostalgia as the fusion reactors of the station were deliberately overloaded, and the massive cylindrical structure erupted into a brilliant flame that was all too quickly extinguished by the cold vaccum of space. That place, the nexus of her life-- the grounds from which she had seen one man stand and reshape the face of the galaxy with only his words and his will-- that place was now gone.
The lights onboard the shuttle flickered for a moment. Ivanova didn't think anythign of it, of course-- the explosion of the station would be sending all kinds of radiation out into space. Light, heat, electricity. Heh, she was too old to be worrying about things like that anymore. Like she ever stopped worrying.
As fate would have it, Ivanova would have been right to worry. Yes, the explosion had sent out lots of different things-- it even sent out a coherent pattern of energy that had been looping around the station's electrical system ever since it had been forcibly introduced into it decades ago by a young girl still struggling to come to terms with herself.
For while the Admiral busied herself with setting course to her next destination, the databanks on her shuttle were silently downloading, compiling and retransmitting a series of signals-- which, in a few weeks, made their way back to Earth and downloaded into the vacant, waiting neural pathways of a clone floating asleep in a clylinder of LCL nutrient liquid.
The clone's hand twitched and clenched into a fist, decades-old rage boiling to the fore as it awoke, the body it was attached to sloshing to the floor as the holding tank opened.
Blinking her blue eyes for a moment, lying helpless on the ground while she re-learned how to work her new frame, Yuuko "Eudial" Arimura sucked in her first breath as a living being in decades. And used her very next breath to curse the name of the girl who had trapped her for so long.
"Damn you, Sakura Xadium Aino... I WILL SEND YOU TO HELL!"
T-20: Space Vendetta Get
"Shaldra Darkness," a slightly posh quasi british-Japanese voice muttered. "That annoying magus-cat-thing-person."
There was the sound of frantic fingers against keyboard as information popped up on screen with a totally unneeded dub teletype sound.
PLANET OF ORIGIN: PLANET EXPEL, PAN-GALACTIC FEDERATION. CO-ORDINATES: XxxXXX XXX XX X XX XXxx
"Planet Expel, eh?" The voice muttered, laughing to itself. "Not for much longer."
There was the sound of snapped fingers. "Minion! Minion! It is time! We have a planet to destroy! HA HA HA HA!"
IN 2006 STUFF WAS BEGIN
"Soon," the voice chortled. "Soon, All their Continent will belong to us!"
T-20: Night Terrors
Hotaru clamped her hands over her ears, the thumping sounds from upstairs louder and louder, the sounds of bedsprings groaning and straining under heavy bouncing load.
"They're doing it AGAIN," Hotaru growled, trying to read.
"Hai~" Minako mused, looking at her wedding ring and imagining something similar.
"And by the feel of the energy thery transformed for it too," Hotaru continued, squeezing her eyes shut at the mental image.
"WILL YOU MARRY ME?!" A fully clothed Sailor Neptune demanded, slamming Haruka into the bed and braining her with a heavy easel.
"Dammit!" Sailor Uranus protested, dodging.
"SAY YES!" Neptune screamed, hurling a heavy book onto the bed with another thud. "It's been OVER TWELVE YEARS say YES!!"
T -19: No news is Good News for Hanyu.
Eudial cursed as she looked at some grainy video footage shot by one of her time-probes back in the 21st century. She had gone through all the expense and trouble to resurrect the spirit of Kaolinite, former high magus of the Witches, using magics both mystical and technological. And what had she gotten for it? Within TEN MINUTES of the damn clone making its way to Ten'Aino house, it had been utterly annihilated by one of the visitors there in combat. Not even a Sailor Senshi! Some nameless fool in robes and sandals!
Here she was, trying to plot the ultimate vengeance against the girl who had ruined her criminal career with the Orion Syndicate and prevented her takeover of the Crystal Imperium, and she couldn't even find out where Sakura Aino was!
"She has to be in the 21st Century," Eudial hissed. "She can't fulfill her mission to--"
Eudial didn't bother to finish the sentence. Instead, she turned to the Kaminoan cloner who was standing some distance from her, by the door to her immaculate, white-walled "office" which was really nothing more than a guest room for paying customers.
"--You there, is it done?"
"It is," the Kaminoan said slowly, its large head bowing deferentially. "But as you were only able to supply us with memory engrams and no body type, the duplication was based on modifications of the Terran DNA--"
"--Oh spare me, and bring her in already," Eudial snapped, her patience already snapped to breaking point with the overtly polite, yet completely corrupt money-grubbing Kaminoan cloners.
"My chest is too small!" screeched an orange-haired short girl in an odd orange and black Tutu. "Eudial, what is this? What happened to my original body?!"
"Shut up, Mimete," Eudial commanded, with no small amount of pleasure. She held up a small box. "Shut up or I will activate thie agonizer which is attached to the base of your neck. Now, I need you to find someone, and eliminate whomever gets in your way."
"Whoever," Mimete corrected with a smirk.
Eudial growled and activated the agonizer, sending Mimete into spasms of pain. The short girl collapsed, twitching and coughing up blood.
"No one wants to hear it," Eudial cooed. "Now get to work, and find me the location of Sakura Xadium Aino."
MINING TOWN OF SALVA, PLANET EXPEL
"This is the tenth dead body, sir," Tax said, a worried look in his eyes. "We need to do something. Everyone in Salva is terrified. We don't know what killed them, but whatever it was, it burst their hearts."
Alan looked down at the bodies and frowned. They looked strangely... happy. What the HELL was happening in his town?
SOMEWHERE CLOSE BY
The little girl cowered, afraid. The shadow loomed over her now. It had been following her for the past hour. Finally, she turned and looked up, determined to face her fear.
She saw the man then. Dressed in a black tuxedo, white hirt, tall hat and white eyemask, with a rose in one hand and a cane in the other.
"I am.." he began.
"Aha... AHAHAHA... HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH!" the girl bawled, laughing at the hysterical sight. God, he looked so stupid! She dropped to her knees, panting and pointing at him, unable to stop laughing. "AHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" She laughed harder and harder the more she looked at him, her heart eventually bursting from the strain. She keeled over, dead.
"I just wanted directions to El..." he sweatdropped.
T-19: This is why she is how she is.
Seeing the bank robbers, Chibiusa transformed and gave her speech, threatening to punish the malefactors if they failed to surrender. In reply, one of them gave her a lollipop, and the other asked her back to his flat in Akhibara for a good time. He was 50 years old.
T-18: An inconvenient marytrdom
"Dead?! DEAD?!" Eudial spluttered the words out as if incapable of believing them.
Mimete, for her part, nodded numbly, in total fear of the Agonizer device which Eudial was gripping in white-knuckled rage.
"Does she think she'll rob me of my revenge by KILLING herself before I can wring the life out of her pretty little neck?!" Eudial roared, leaping to her feet and smashing a fist into a steel table before her.
As the table dented, Mimete muttered quietly "Well you could always kill yourself and join her." She gasped and covered her mouth, hoping Eudial had not heard her.
Eudial looked at Mimete and smiled, just before flipping the agonizer to "always on."
"You first," the redhead said sweetly, leaving Mimete to write in mortal agony on the ground, mouth foaming and veins bulging as every nerve in her body was seared with raw, unimaginable pain.
"No..." Eudial muttered to herself as Mimete's slow, protracted death rattle filled the room. "No, Sakura... you won't be able to run from me by simply dying." She began to assemble a device. "I will cast my hand unto the heavens and drag you back to this mortal coil... just so that I may send you into the burning depths of darkest hell."
T-18: Big Bang Blues
MARIANNA ESTATES, LACOUR, PLANET EXPEL
A young woman with long red hair tied in a ponytail at the bottom, wearing a sharp, neatly pressed white silk shirt, grey slacks and maroon socks and polished back shoes lay back in the grass, slightly fretting at the fact her black silk vest-back would be getting grass stains. Still, she loved it here, the breeze, the sun, the wide open space of the lush green plain, the smell of the water in the stream near her.
Noriko Marianna Xadium, Time Lord and child of Shaldra Marianna and a divergent version of Doctor Xadium, a.k.a. "The Actuary" was enjoying the lazy spring day. Idly holding up her sword, "Vindicator" to the light, she admired the play of the sun on its gleaming Validium surface.
Validium. A metal from Gallifrey, the planet of her father's birth. She had gone to school there, but it wasn't home to her. Still, here she was, pondering home, the Time Lords, their technology. Here, in this natural paradise, she muttered, holding something that looked like a small soccerball, even down to the odd mottlings-- here, she was trying to make something alien grow. Alien to the people here, anyway. But for her half-sister Sakura, it would be the most familiar and happy thing in the world.
"No! got you!" There was the sound of giggling from some nearby bushes, and the sound of playfighting, and cloth ripping.
"BY RASSILON WILL YOU TWO STOP IT!" Noriko snapped, leaping up and twisting in the air like a cat, landing on her feet and pointing her sword at the bushes.
"Whaa..." a young blonde-haired boy-- the human Claude C Kenny-- protested, holding some very delicate women's underear in his left hand without realizing it. "We were just playing 'Tag'."
"With your underwear," Noriko replied dimly as a young Nedean, the elf-eared Rena, popped out of the bushes partially, blushing brightly.
"Honestly, you two," The Actuary sighed, lying back down. "Like Rabbits."
"I love to ride rabbits!" Rena exclaimed, thinking of the giant racing rabbits on her homeworld of Nede.
"There's a girl on Earth named 'Chibiusa' who'd LOVE to talk to you," Noriko muttered tiredly.
Before Rena could reply, there was a huge streak in the sky, and a huge explosion that shook the ground and sent a stiff breeze pressing through the air.
"That came from the direction of El continent!" Claude yelled.
"No... not again," Rena muttered in mortal terror.
"No, not again," Noriko muttered in oh-god-kill-me-now-eleven-times-please mode.
T -18: Socialization
rei.bot did not know how Motoki got her to go out with him. He had just taken her hand and pulled her outside. Dates were nicve, she thought, enjoying the sunshine. But then, when he licked the turtle and showed the perigrine his little elephant, she decided it was time to forget about the affairs of normal society.
T -17: This mortal coil, once again
"Hey, come on! Quit it!" Sakura yelled, running and leaping frantically, trying to stay one step ahead of the lightning quick, saidistically grinning 11th Squad Captain Zaraki Kenpachi, who was deadly intent on tearing her to ribbons with his chipped, mottled sword. "You could put someone's guts out! I'm not even a seated Captain anymore, I'm just a temp secretary!"
Sakura's position as 3rd Squad Captain, which she had switched for 5th squad captain, were over. New replacements were being tapped from within the ranks fo Soul Society, and Sakura, whose tenure was brief and unexciting, had been relegated to doing paperwork chores in 11th squad, since the homocidal, genocidal and somwhat suicidal Zaraki was certainly not going to bother.
"Hah!" Zaraki roared, laughing. "Even the SECRETARIES of 11th squad are expected to fight at all times!"
Sakura leaped, turning her head to yell at Zaraki frantically, "Don't blame me if you bury that blade in my back and you don't get your triplicated TPS reports out on ti---"
She never finished the sentence, crashing to the ground, wheezing.
"What's up with that?" Zaraki asked curiously, stopping his chase, wondering if she was faking. He was just about to slap her on the butt with his sword hard to make her fight seriously when he saw something grey beginning to materialize in front of her.
"No f[BLEEP]in' way," Zaraki muttered, watching the sight in genuine shock. A chain was beginning to appear out of the ether, with one end latched to Sakura's chest.
"Wh... what is this!?" Sakura asked in shock, her body beginning to fade in and out.
"The chain of destiny connecting her soul to her body is being reforged," 6th squad captain Kuchiki Byakuya intoned almost indifferently as he paused from his morning walk to observe.
"Wierd," Zaraki muttered, sticking his finger in his ear, cleaning it out.
"What body?!" Sakura protested. "I blew myself into a billion bits! What body!?" She looked to the two captains, but got nothing but a nod indicating no answer from Kuchiki, and Zaraki waving, cheerfully yelling "hey, it looks like you got lucky, kid. you get to skip out on this fight. But next time, you better be ready! Train, you hear me! I'll be waiting for you when you die again!"
"Oh like that's gonna happen--" Sakura began sarcasticially as her awareness smashed back through into the mortal plane, and her all-too-mortal eyes opened once again, only to have them forcibly slammed shut again as Eudial's boot smashed into her face.
T-17: Urban Renewal
As video footage of the object which had landed on El continent circulated all over Expel, panic erupted in the streets.
"The Sorcery Globe! The Sorcery globe!" an old man rambled, foaming at the mouth in panic.
"Yes, your highness, but I ask you," Noriko said, pointing to the screen. "What part of that LARGE RECTANGULAR BUILDING with a HUGE M on TOP is a GLOBE?"
"But it landed in the same spot!" one of the King's advisers protested. "It's just as tall as the last tower!"
"The last Sorcery *Globe*", Noriko repeated dimly. "Which again, was a tower."
"This is NOT TIME To be quibbling about Geometry, Nori!" Claude yelled, leaping in front of her and bowing before the King. "I, CLAUDE SHEE KENNEY, armed with the Light of Truth, will save the day!"
"The 'Light of Truth' being your phase pistol," Noriko muttered, pointing to his silvery ray gun, subtly extending one of her concealed adamantium claws to point. "The only one of its kind on this mediaeval-level rural world."
"Yes!" Claude replied.
"The one with the dead power cell," Noriko continued, eyes narrowing.
"...shut up..." Claude whimpered.
"Yes," Noriko muttered. "I can see this will work out totally splendidly."
T -17: But it sounded so good on paper
Elios slammed down the phone in glee. He had Dialed 1-900-LUNA for a fun way to get some action. Now he had hooked up with a "lonely, virile, mature older woman" named "Keymaster".
T-16: The Same old , Same old
EASTER ISLAND, 2006
Sakura flew though the air again, smashing into the side of a massive stone head, unable to catch her breath. Eudial-- wherever she had come from-- had been relentless. There has been no speeches, no gloating, not even a "time to die" for old time's sake.
There had just been punches, and kicks, and partial strangulations puncutated by the odd scream of blind rage.
Sakura hadn't even had a chance to mount an offensive. Eudial had used some form of machine to reconstruct Sakura's body from the trillions of particles left over after the explosion, and then forced Sakura's spirit back into it for the sole and express purpose of killing the girl again, and the shock of being reincorporated had not worn off one iota before the assault had begun.
Sakura spat up blood and tried to reach for Arataka,but Eudial smashed her foot down on the girl's hand, breaking all her fingers in one strike.
"Not this time, b[BLEEP]ch!" Eudial screamed, her hair wild, all pretense of cool collected demeanour gone. "I left you for dead in the desert once, and you came back! You won't come back this time! You'll pay for what you did to me!"
"Did... to you...?" Sakura spat, doing her best to roll out of the way, favoring her broken hand. "If you hadn't tried to kill my folks I wouldn't have given a damn about you...."
"SHUT UP!" Eudial screeched, throwing a boulder at Sakura.
Sakura lashed out with a version of the Venus Love-Me chain and cleaved the stone in two, the fragments of flying stone momentarily forcing her to blink.
That was all the time Eudial needed. Moving faster than Sakura could think, Eudial closed the distance between them and pressed the barrel of some kind of strange gun against the surface of the stone head.
"PARTICLE BUSTER!" Eudial yelled, vaporizing the midsection of the head, causing it to tip over and collapse.
Sakura's eyes widened in a panic as the head loomed over her, about to crush her to pulp. Eudial, for her part, had flitted off to the side.
"Damn!" Sakura muttered raising her hands. She'd trained with r-chan but would it be enough...
Massing her ki, Sakura straightend up, looked up and pressed her body's energy into her hands.
"KAMEHAMEHA!" Sakura yelled, exploding the stone head into a fine pulverized powder with a massive ki blast that soared into the sky, parting the clouds.
The next moment, she doubled over, blood pouring from her mouth, in shock, unable to breathe. Looking down she saw the hilt of Arataka pressed against her stomach. Eudial had impaled her with her own blade.
"Heh, should have been paying more attention, little girl," Eudial sneered, twisting the blade violently, tearing up Sakura's insides.
Sakura tried to give a witty comeback, but there was only the blood from her stomach upwelling and pouring forth. She dropped to her knees.
"If you hadn't meddled with my plan to rig that baseball game," Eudial started darkly, "neither of us would know the other's name. You brought this fate on yourself, Time Travelling meddler."
Sakura said nothing, closing her eyes as Eudial released Arataka, not even pulling it out. the sharp, monoatomically edged crysteel blade was sliding down on its own, however, still cutting slowly. It was all Sakura could do to hold it in place to keep it from bisecting her. She focused on healing. Even this level of damage might be fixab;e given her Time Lord and Senshi biology. But she would need time. And looking at what Eudial was doing, she very much doubted that time was something she would have.
For, using her time travel apparatus and some unfathomable wellspring of power, Eudial had opened a portal to Event One... the hydrogen inrush immediately preceding the Big Bang.
"I could just cut your head off right now," Eudial chuckled, her mood and manner calming as she felt herself slip comfortably into contol of the situation. "But I want you to--" She kicked the helpless Sakura through the portal and into the explosion. "Go out with a bang."
Sakura floated through space, unable to breathm body burning, into the neon-white glow of the genesis of the universe. Not a bad way to go, she thought, as she gave up trying to survive.
At that moment a hand caught her.
"You!?" Sakura burbled in shock, the blood from her body coalescing into orbiting droplets in space.
T-16: Warriors of Light Return Again
"Look, I'm telling you, it's just an upgraded office building from a Class III Civilization. It's hardly the world-destroying threat you keep rambling on about," Noriko exhaled, trying to edge her way out of the King's chambers even as Claude continued to profess his manly prowess to the King in front of Rena, who was blushing like an overripe pimple ripe for the popping.
"no the sorcery globe the sages are come again we're finished finished oh god we need the warriors of light again" the King rambled, gripping the arms of his throne.
"Excuse me, your Highness," Noriko muttered, her sarcastic nature unable to allow her to use this prime moment to escape, "but you ARE a King. Why do you rely on a small band of commoners to do the dirty work for you? Why are you not out on the field of battle yourself?"
"My money stands for me!" the King replied. "It was my funding which built the Lacour Hope!"
"Ahh yes, the giant phallic symbol of a cannon you shot up the last tower with," Noriko muttered. She turned her head as she heard someone coming down the hall. "And speaking of Phallic symbols... the biggest one of all is here."
"The Warriors of light have heard your call!" exclaimed a young man with the necks and heads of two dragons jutting from his shoulders. "I, Ashton Anchors, will risk death once again to save our beloved land!"
"Oh by Rassilon," Noriko muttered. "You just want him to pay you in Barrels. Barrels which you take home and--" she shuddered. It had gotten so bad that the dragons on his back had chosen to sedate themselves permanently. Waking them would take weeks.
"Barrels..." Ashton whispered reverently, blushing, eyes glazing over.
"Well! Good luck Ashton!" Noriko exclaimed, slapping him on the back and moving to escape. But her way was blocked by a tall man, the heroic and noble Dias Flac. Well... Dias Flac, anyway.
"..." Dias said enigmatically.
"Right," Noriko pretended to understand. She tried to get past.
"...!" Dias insisted, eyes narrowing in challenge, hand moving to his sword.
Noriko rolled her eyes.
Dias moved foward and kneeled to the king. "...."
"Excellent!" the King exclaimed, clapping his hands. "So it's been decided. Claude C Kenny, Rena Landford, Ashton Anchors, Dias Flac and Noriko Marianna will travel to the Continent of El and do battle with the Ten Sages at the site of the Sorcery Globe! The way will be hard, and long, and full pointless leveling, but--"
Noriko growled and grabbed Anchors, Flac and Kenny. She didn't need to grab Rena, as she was pasted to Claude, gyrating in odd, provocative lolicon ways against his adolescent frame.
Tapping the Time Ring hidden under her shirtsleeve, she teleported everyone to El, where before them stood a giant 999 level office building-- the property of one Mizunomics Corporation.
T-16: A table turns in circles
Artemis thought it would be fun to sell risque pictures of Minako to the internet for Paypal. Then one day a trapdoor in his litterbox sent him to the Korean Barbecue. Artemis learned his lesson at the edge of a spork.
T -15: Old School
"Do not ask why," hino rei.bot said tiredly, standing before Sakura in the middle of the swirling hydrogen gases. The light was white upon white upon white in all directions, yet the primal forces of newborn creation had been pushed away by the miko in white and red robes, her bright orange eyes somehow still bright against the overwhelming brilliance.
"r-chan?" Sakura burbled, losing consciousness now, the toll of the battle too great for even her body.
rei.bot caught Sakura in some kind of field, levitating the girl's body before her, and infusing it with healing energy. within moments, Sakura was whole once more, the sword Arataka floating beside her.
"r-chan," rei.bot mused, biting her lip. "There is a name I haven't heard in over six billion years."
"Buh-- illion?" Sakura asked, still dazed, not understanding. She looked around. "This force, this energy... the maelstrom at the start of the universe... how are you holding it back?"
"Holding... back?" rei.bot asked , clearly not understanding.
"You're standing in the middle of Event One," Sakura said dimly. "Birth of the universe... ring a bell?"
"I merely stand where I've always stood," rei.bot replied, shrugging. She tilted her head and appraised Sakura's condition. "You've looked better."
Sakura nodded, her pride wounded even worse than her body had been. "It was... Eudial."
"You never did have any control when it came to her," rei.bot chided.
"Hey! I learned a lot about discipline, but it's hard to employ discipline when the first thing that happens to you upon reviving from DEADLY DEATH is getting kicked in the head!" Sakura tried to stand upright, but was forced to speak lying down in mid vacuum.
rei.bot sighed. "Didn't I teach you to dodge?"
Sakura scowled and stuck out her tongue. "I liked you better when you spoke less."
"If that's what you want," rei.bot growled, tearing off her robes and revealing an all black battle kimono and hakama embroidered with two golden dragons that seemed to coil and slither as she moved, "then we shall speak no more." Golden blades erupted from her arms, and the miko blasted towards Sakura with killing intent.
Training had begun.
T-15: Sword and Sorcery
MIZUNOMICS TOWER, LEVEL 20 / 999
"Demons, Demons, DEMONS!" Noriko cried, hurling Ofuda at some, which vanished, slashing some to bits with her sword, and blasting still others with Heraldic magic, tearing through them as if they were nothing, so bored, so very very very bored even as the others screamed and paniced and attacked with hot-blooded terror driven rage.
Then a giant mechanical hellhound appeared, branded Mizunomics "3199-STFU".
"THIS is more like it!" Noriko exclaimed with glee, happily going to work battling the mechanical hulk as it threw her around like a rag doll.
Ashton and others looked at each other and shrugged, sitting and relaxing as Noriko let out war whoops and engaged in wholesale vandalism of the electronic kind.
Something caught Ashton's eye... a shadow from the corridor. Looking around, he saw the others had not seen it. He went to investigate.
There, in a doorway, backlit by the light, he saw her. Round, and curvaceous, and oh, so firm. A barrel, perfect and pristine in all ways. Except... this one had arms coming out of it. And it was waving to him.
It was calling, and he had to listen~
T-15: Hoover Damn
Pulling and pulling, Jedite sucked. It was all he could do to suck as hard as he could, but it still would not come. Damn that Hotaru, securing her ki aura.
T-14 : Object Lesson (Upgrade works both ways)
Sakura did not know how she had arrived back on Earth, but she had. Whatever that rei.bot at the heart of the Big Bang had been, it had definitely not been patient. All Sakura could remember was being scolded for not taking things seriously and being unceremoniously smacked though space and time with a cosmic backhand from her old mentor.
Still, Sakura mused, looking at the subtly-altered hilt of Arataka, that rei.bot had managed to convert her sword Arataka, heirloom of the Japanese Shinguuji clan, into a blade that was fused with her will and soul totally. It wasn't the same connection as a Shinigami had with their zanpakto soul slayer, but it was close enough.
Sakura had made the mistake of arrogantly proclaiming herself ready to face Eudial, flush with the afterglow of her new power-up. That was when she had been kicked out, "to learn things the hard way," as apparently her skull was too thick to take in any information otherwise.
It had not taken long for Eudial to appear, and for a while, the battle was actually even. Sakura was faster, stronger and more confident than ever before. Hand-to-hand combat was an easy win for Sakura, and with Arataka's new power, the blade never seemed to leave her hand, no matter how bad the situation gone.
"STAMPEDE, Arataka!" Sakura yelled, casting her blade into the ground, the earth quaking as hundreds of sharp blades erupted out of the earth, chasing Eudial. When she pulled the sword out of the ground, its shape was that of an ancient wood-handled chokuto with long straight glowing blue blade.
"Got a new toy, eh?" Eudial sneered.
"The Shikai, or first-form release of Arataka," Sakura explained, reversing her grip on the sword.
"It looks crappier now than it did before!" Eudial exclaimed.
"So does your fighting style," Sakura quipped.
"Oh really?" Eudial asked, fishing around in her pocket and pulling out what looked to be a daimon seed.
"Wha--" Sakura began to ask.
"What Professor Tomoe started, I complete! What he partially too into his being, I fuse with mine own! Mistress Pharaoh 77, give me your power! Make me the complete SUPERBEING!"
Eudial put the seed between her teeth and cracked it open, as the black demonic force within leaked down her throat. The sky above rumbled with lightning and a column of raw, black power tore through creation, smashingtinto her body, suffusing it, corrupting it, toughening it.
Sakura did not wait. Without blinking, she willed all the erupted blades in the ground into the air and slammed them into Eudial all at once, and struck her sword down, sending out a destructive wave of blue ki at her foe, crying out the attack phrase "HAJYA KENSEI OUKA HOUSHIN!!!"
Eudial stood there, the blades embedded in her body, laughing even as the blue wave cleaved her body cleanly in two lengthwise.
Within moments, her body had dissolved into a puddle of liquid and reformed. All the blades were now pointing outwards, back at Sakura.
Sakura weaved to the side as Eudial gave out a feral roar, exploding the blades at her at unbelievable speed.
"I'm not going to make it!" Sakura exclimed to herself, even as she ran as quickly as her feet would take her. The sheer magnitude of force behind the expulsion was so powerful it was as if the blades had been fired by boosted railguns.
Sakura barely felt the tip of of one of the blades press against the back of her brown leather vest. She braced for impact, but it never came.
The next second Sakura was half a mile away atop a hill, carried under rei.bot of the present's left arm.
"Hey what the--!!" Sakura protested.
"i sensed your spirit force on this plane," rei.bot explained calmly, turning to face Eudial. "welcome back"
"DO NOT INTERFERE, MIKO!" In a blink of an eye, Eudial had cleared the half-mile distance and was nose-to-nose with rei.bot, discharging a huge blast of ki from her mouth right into the impassive miko's face.
rei.bot simply stood there, completely unaffected.
Eudial began firing off rapid punches into rei.bot's chest and stomach, each of which was so powerful they split the air and sent thunderclaps echoing across the land. While the living metal organism was unaffected, the mountain behind her was reduced to dust motes.
"You can't protect her forever, whatever you are," Eudial hissed, her eyes clouding over with a storm of black energy.
rei.bot narrowed her eyes and simply flicked a finger against Eudial's forehead, exploding it into a fine mist of black and red mist.
Eudial's body dropped to the ground, seemingly lifeless. But rei.bot knew she was already reforming, healing, growing stronger.
"this is not the time for battle," rei.bot snapped to the still squirming Sakura under her arm and leapt into the air, vanishing into the distance.
"the miko..." Eudial moaned, reforming her head. "...got to kill the miko first..."
The next few years, Eudial went into seclusion, learning all she could about this "rei.bot" miko. She found out the first rei.bot had been a mere android programmed by Jedite for pleasure. The essence and persona of that robotic toy had been refined and injected into a living, sentient metal of almost infinite power called Validium by Sakura's father. rei.bot had become her own person, a living being crafted from ancient Time Lord science that even the Time Lords themselves feared.
But was rei.bot, this Validium thing, truly unstoppable? Eudial learned more. About a war the Time Lords fought all across time. A war so horrible no limits were observed in weaponsmithing. Somehow, someway, someone had found the formula for Validium, and altered it. Modified it to create a living metal capable of cutting the universe itself. Someone had created something greater than that which formed the body of hino rei.bot. Someone had forged, and she would have--
T-14: Man in the Tuxedo Mask
MIZUNOMICS TOWER, LEVEL 999 / 999
"So! you have finally made it to my lair!" A voice boomed.
"Yes, we found the service elevator," Noriko muttered, idly wiping her sword. Then she looked up and saw WHO was talking to her.
It was Tuxedo Mask wearing a name tag that said "HELLO my name is TUXEDO SAGUS."
Dias Flac looked at his foe and raised an eyebrow. "..."
"I completely agree," Noriko muttered, ignoring the rising sounds of ecstatic pleasure coming from the service elevator. It had NOT been fun riding up over 950 levels with them in it.
"And now," Sagus Tuxedo said, meet my new Man-At-Arms." He pointed to a shadowy figure behind him.
"Ashton!?" Noriko asked in shock, eyeing Anchors, who was wearing a white bodysuit and a barrel around his body, the lid strapped to his head with black cloth.
"I am Barrel controller Anchors", Ashton began in a dull monotone.
"What the hell!?" Noriko exclaimed.
T-14: Senshi Fight; Otaku win.
Michiru and Hino Rei argued. It was fire vs water with plenty of steam to go around. the pictures were on rotten the next day. Now Rei packs a different kind of heat. .50 caliber.
T -13: Infection I
PLANET EXPEL, 2006 EARTH RELATIVE - MIZUNOMICS TOWER - LEVEL 999 / 999
Eudial chuckled to herself as she levitated up to the 999th floor of the Mizunomics building and pressed her hand to the glass, pushing the atoms of her hand through the gaps between the gaps of the atoms in the glass, slithering a dark appendage across the ground towards Noriko Marianna Xadium's scabbard.
There, in "The Actuary"'s belt scabbard, was a rubber-hilted sword with a blade made of pure validium -- a fragment of rei.bot herself from 1500 years in the future, gifted to the infant girl at her birth by the miko. It was not truly self aware, but it lived nonetheless. And it would suit Eudial's purpose perfectly.
Currently, the half-sister of Sakura X. Aino was engaged in some kind of asinine argument. While it might have given her some pleasure to kill the redhead, she really didn't have the time. The beast within her called out for Sakura's blood, and she would have it.
The dark hand snaked across the ground and up behind Noriko's back, gently taking hold of the sword and lifting it carefully, millimeter by millimeter out of the holder as the Time Lady Expellian continued her war of words with some fool wearing dragons on his shoulders.
Smirking, Eudial whipped the sword back, smashing it through the window and into her grasp before flitting out of existence and back again, standing on an isolated outcrop on Lacour.
Holding the sword up to the light, she could feel its sick holy energy seeping into her flesh, driving back the black taint of evil that so deliciously clouded her skin.
"Now, now, none of that," Eudial cooed, holding up a chunk of semi-translucent blue metal, the last piece of Cold in all of Time and Space, contrasting it to the gleaming polishjed silver blade. "That girl calls you 'Vindicator', but... I think--" She cast the Cold onto the sword, watching it melt into the blade, the metal writhing and struggling to overcome it, but utlimately succumbing, the blade becoming a clouded, stormy blue-black. "--I shall simply call you 'Deathblade'."
Noriko spun around at the sound of the tower window breaking, her hand flying to her scabbard as she realized her sword was missing. She didn't have time to react, however, as Tuxedo Sagus extended his pole and struck her with its hardness, pushing her out the window.
"YOU OVERCOMPENSATING BA[BLEEP]TARD!" she screamed as she fell.
T-13: Food for Thought.
"Lead Crow" Karasuma had lunch with Boss Minako. The food was good; the bill was high, Minako went to the WC and four hours later all Karasuma can do is look at her empty wallet and cry.
T -12: Infection II: meltdown
rei.bot clutched at the end of the blade that had been thrust in her back. In her years, she had been attacked by virtually every form of weapon ever created by man or god, and nothing had ever fazed her-- except for this. Her body was on fire, or felt like it anyway. That blade, the sword Eudial had suddenly slammed into her back, it was something her body could not adapt to, or cast out. It was tearing all though her Validium body, tearing it apart. There were no explosions. There was only a disintegration, as pieces of herself simply vanished from the universe.
"I bet you're thinking to yourself, 'what's going on?'" Eudial cooed in rei.bot's left ear even as the miko grimaced and strained against the force rending her apart at the most basic level. She stroked rei.bot's face softly from behind, before scratching it and watching with satisfaction as silvery metal poured forth freely.
"Validum-- what you are--" Eudial began, breaking rei.bot's arm with a swift snap, "was created by the Time Lord Rassilon as a weapon to shape time and space. You can move anywhere and anywhen with a thought~ history is yours to command. You, who fight with your hands, your body and your blades, you use not even one whit of your powers..."
"You are the blade which cuts time," Eudial whispered hotly into rei.bot's ear. "But the Cold, the Cold was forged to seal away those who would meddle with history and time. It is the blade that cuts reality, casting the target out of the universe, into the void beyond, where the ancient and mighty enemies of the Time Lords, and of all life in this universe, yet remain."
rei.bot doubled over, passing out as her body lost critical mass, and she thudded to the ground, silver, inert, body still fading.
"Goodbye forever, you wretched b[BLEEP]ch," Eudial said with a smile as she watched the miko vanish utterly, only the Deathblade remaining.
Somewhere out of space and time, in a universe totally unlike ours, the particles of rei.bot's body met and reformed. The miko's electric blue eyes cut through the infinite night, barely illuminating the looming husks of giant, hungry space vampires billions of meters high. Millions of them-- all hungry for the sliver of light that had appeared before them.
Noriko lay in the bushes below the tower, stunned but not dead. She murmured something about having fallen onto a very large bird and Tuxedo Sagus' extremely long, hard pole.
MIZUNOMICS TOWER, LEVEL 999 / 999
"...!" Flac raged in anger, striking Ashton with his sword again and again and again. But the old, aged wood of the barrel was petrified, and impervious to assault. As Ashton advanced, the two dragons on his back woke up.
"What the hell?" the red one asked.
"We're attached to a man who thinks he's a Barrel" the other, blue one replied.
They just looked at each other.
Quickly, they gnawed some medicinal leaves and passed out in peace.
Tuxedo Sagus, for his part, sat on his throne and crossed his legs. Yes, this was going well. He had avenged the defeat his all-important partner had faced at the hands of Shaldra Darkness by killing her child. With his pole. His manly, polished pole. He loved to polish it ever change he got. In fact, he was going to polish it right now.
Crossing his legs the other way, he polished his pole as he watched Dias Flac get hurled out the window.
T-12: Where no Senshi has gone before.
Somehow Haruka and Captain Picard have traded places. Beer flows freely on the Enterprise and Commander Riker's face is buried in Troi's chest on the bridge in front of the Romulans, who retreat in fear over a Federation they see plagued with insanity virus. Haruka has saved the world of the Future.
T-11 : Ambition
Eudial smirked, tracing a line in the dirt with her boot where rei.bot's prone body had once lain. With the miko dead, now it would be a simple matter to finish off Sakura Aino once and for all.
Lifting Deathblade over her head, Eudial looked up at the stormy blade. Such power, such darkness in it now. Of course. She remembered from her reading. Validium's chief problem was that it tended to be quite evil. Only the miko's force of holy will had tamed the beast that was her own body. With her cut from time, this last piece had reverted to its base nature.
"You and I will be so good together," Eudial mused, opening her mouth and lowering the sword down her throat slowly, the blade liquifiying and pouring in, the metal fusing with her cells. She blinked, her black eyes becoming silver, as the power of the Tairon Mistress 77 intermingled and fused with the Validium / Cold, changing her into something new-- something More.
She had become... Lady Oblivion.
T-11: Watch out for Falling Rocks
Noriko dug her claws into the concrete surface of the tower, and growled as the shorter claws in her feet extended out from the space between her toes, ripping up the front part of her patent-leather shoes. She might LOOK Human / Gallifreyan, but under the surface she was quit different.
"Floor 500," she huffed, pulling one hand out and getting ready to dig into the wall again.
Then Dias fell on her.
Then they both fell on Xine, the giant god-bird who was circling the tower god knows why.
Then all three of them crashed into the bushes.
T-11: Where no Starfleet Captain has gone before.
Picard opened his mouth and slowly shoved it in. This was a new experience for him. He didn't know how it would taste, or even if it would tast like anything. But he sucked it up anyway. Michiru smiled, then frowned as the Captain passed out at the dining room table, his dinner spoon still in his mouth.
"God, she's worse than Naraku with the leveling," Sakura sighed, feeling Eudial's spirit pressure quite clearly even though she was sealed metres under the Earth deep in the Shinguuji family's ancient training grounds.
"Forget her," the glowing spirit of Shinguuji Kazuma counseled, playfully whapping Sakura on the head with an ethereal bokken. "My Sakura, how you've grown."
Sakura giggled and shrugged. It was wierd, being the reincarnation of this man's daughter, having played her role and stepped into her shoes before even knowing it. The original Sakura Shinguuji had discovered the secret of "the blood which destroys evil" that flowed through the veins of the Shinguuji clan and killed herself defeating some great evil which had tried to enter the world in this very cave.
An evil, Sakura realised, her soul tasting the familiar scent of power, that felt very much like Eudial / Mistress 7 / whatevertheheck was out there now.
"Is my whole destiny just one long fight with you?" Sakura cried out, dropping to her knees. "You nearly kill my parents and r-chan when I was about to be born. You nearly wipe out my family at a peace conference, making me think I was an orphan and sending me back in time to this place, where I forgot who I was! Now I find out you probably somehow killed the woman I was in my LAST life! And I can't sense r-chan anywhere!"
Sakura just pounded her fists on the ground so hard the earth began to crack and split, her tears streaming down her face and into the Earth.
"Sakura is Sakura," Kazuma said softly, putting a hand on the shoulder of the woman who was/was-not his daughter at the same time. "Whether her last name is 'Shinguuji' or 'Aino', whether her hair is blue or blonde, whether she has one heart or two."
Sakura sniffled and looked up at Kazuma, his aspect clear in her mind's eye even as her physical vision was clouded by tears.
"If there's one thing we Shinguuji never do, it is surrender," Kazuma said flatly, but with care in his eyes. "And you will always be one of us." He held Arataka's blade, chuckling at the new crysteel formation that still had flecks of the old meteroic ore from the original blade in it. "You've reforged the sword, now reforge your hearts."
Before Sakura could reply, Kazuma seemed to slip inside the sword, which pulsed with a heartbeat.
"What the--" Sakura stammered. "Kazuma-pop?"
"A true Soul Slayer is not just a sword, or merely the extension of it's wielder's soul... it is also a living being in its own right," the sword spoke to Sakura's mind in Kazuma's voice.
"But I'm not really a Death God," Sakura protested. "I just played one on TV for a while!"
"This sword has been the pride of the Shinguuji clan for generations. You are the last of us. Now it belongs to the clan Aino. discover it anew."
Sakura didn't know what to make of this, as the sword just went quiet. Then she felt something, a shock that seemed to tear apart the fabric of space and time itself.
Somewhere, deep in the Antarctic, a molten silver fist smashed through the larsen ice shelf, splitting the gliacier in two instantly and turning miles of it into pure steam which exploded into the atmosphere. Haggard, robes ripped, hair disheveled, black blood covering almost her entire body, a feral, snarling, woman clawed onto the ice, the severed head of an Old one exploding out of the ice behind her as it vaporised into a mist of ichor. The Great Vampires had fallen. The void had been cleansed. rei.bot was victorious.
"Helloooo~" Lady Oblivion said with a smile, punching the miko straight through the moon one second later.
T -10: Heart to Heart
BUSHES BY THE BASE OF MIZUNOMICS TOWER
"..." Dias said, pinned on top of Noriko, face down, his lips almost touching hers.
"Wh... what?" Noriko muttered, looking up into his eyes, still dazed.
"..." Dias continued, blushing.
"S-Sorry," Noriko mumbled in shame, moving her hand. For once she had not been able to land her feet, and now look where she was.
"..." Dias remonstrated, emotions filling his eyes.
"I know, I know," Noriko said sympathetically. "Allure of the alien and all, but really, I'm just not interested."
"..." Dias said, trying to avert his gaze, to hide his shame.
"There, There," Noriko said, gently stroking hsi cheek. "You will, I'm sure."
"...?" Dias asked, wiping his eyes.
"I'm sure of it, Noriko said confidently, gently pushing Dias off her, totally fergotting about Xine who was under her. Stepping in his eye, Noriko leapt off the bird with dainty ease and set Dias down.
"..." Dias blubbered, bowing again and again.
"Say no more about it," Noriko said softly. "It will be as if you had said nothing at all, my friend."
"..." Dias replied, a bit more at ease.
"Now," Noriko muttered. "Back to climbing."
Haruka smirked. Kirk had failed. Thirty Orions had fallen to her, compared to only twenty-seven for Kirk. Rolling over in bed, Haruka patted her slave woman. "This is why my style of life wins." Spock, in a fit of rage, emails the photos to the past. Michiru is angered.
T -9: Throwdown at Mutter's Spiral
The fight took place across all of space and time. Every time Oblivion tried cutting rei.bot out of spacetime, the miko simply emerged from a black hole-- or if none was available-- she detonated a star from within. The Cold still cut her, still maimed her, still made her bleed, but she had adapted, her severed limbs reforming into spears which impaled the body of the augmented Eudial every time they became detached. Eventually, Oblivion had learned it was better to leave rei.bot in one piece and go hand to hand.
Unlike rei.bot, who was over two metric tons of Validium metal, Oblivion was still mostly flesh, with a thin film of not more than two and a half pounds of Cold coating her . As a concentrated sword, it could sever and gouge rei.bot, but as a shield, it did little more than keep her punches from forcibly discorporating Oblivion on the spot.
PLUS, the Cold was actually drawing power from an infected part of rei.bot herself; and with rei,bot now fully in proximity to it, the previously inert part of her body was now fighting the infection with far more force-- given the fact that rei.bot had been stabbed once, she now knew more about it-- she might not be able to adapt to this sick twisted cousin of hers, but she might....
...with the power of an entire planet's ki pulled into her via her gero energy collectors...
...be able to..
rei.bot's train of thought was disrupted as she was pitched into a black hole and compressed to the size of a pinhead.
NOW she was getting pissed.
T -9: Dulled Edge of the Blade
"Damn!" Noriko yelled, slammed into the side of the wall, pressed there by Tuxedo Sagus' pole. Her face was covered in wet sticky liquid, and she could barely see, but again and again he whacked his pole at her, extending and retracting it at his whim. She tried to claw at his pole, but he always sumg it away at the last moment, quoting some stupid haiku and giving a little speech on how bad girls should take discipline.
"I need more reach~" Noriko muttered.
"My pole can reach anywhere," Tuxedo Sagus said suavely, whapping her face with it.
Dias, for his part, was fiercely trying to hold off the barrel-clad Ashton, until he finally got the idea of dropkicking the man sideways. Ashton began to roll helplessly down the hall.
Angered at being so violated by Tuxedo Sagus' pole, Nroki took firm hold of it and held it in place.
"Just you WAIT!" she yelled, taking one hand and tapping her time ring. "I'm going to get something to cut that pole of yours down to size!"
Noriko vanished, her destination: Planet Earth, and a meeting with her sister, Sakura Xadium Aino.
T -9: Struggle
"I am not a turtle!" Worf snarled as he fought, trying to pry the human "Motoki" from his head. "And why is there milk channeling itself though my forehead grooves?!"
T-8: Break the Limit I
Sakura slammed her fist against the cave wall, watching the stone crack. She had been a fully transformed senshi for almost a thousand years, it made her stupidly strong, but even so, she could only do so much by herself. In the depths of her mind she could feel the fight that was going on in space. She wanted to join in, but she knew that even at her level she was an ant in a giant's playground.
"Dammit," Sakura growled, sliding down to the ground and looking at Arataka. Was this all she was good for? Swinging around a sword and tossing off some Venus attacks and ki blasts?
"Why Blyledge," came a cool, only slightly condascending-sounding voice from somewhere within the cave. "I need a sword, and you need a sparring partner. How horribly convenient."
"Noriko?" Sakura asked in shock. The next second she was smashed through the cavern wall and in the open air, bleeding profusely.
A FEW MINUTES LATER
"This is called Shunpo," Sakura explained, speed-running through the trees, flitting from one to the other as the Actuary followed.
"And this is called my utter lack of concern," Noriko replied dryly, emerging from the molecular shadows in front of Sakura and smashing her in the face with a hard punch.
Sakura chuckled and formed a ki ball in her hands and fired it at Noriko, who batted it aside.
"So you wanna borrow Arataka, huh?" Sakura asked with a smile, parrying Noriko easily.
"Vindicator... went missing," Noriko admitted under her breath.
"I think I know where it went," Sakura said seriously, chuckling as she smacked Noriko once, finally breaking her wall of quick parries. "Hey country cat, you're getting slow," she joked.
"No I'm not," Noriko said seriously. "My speed is as constant as ever."
Sakura looked at Noriko puzzled. "But that implies~"
"You're getting faster," Noriko assented. "At frightening speed." She unsheathed her 7 inch adamantium claws. "I guess we'll just have to get nasty, then." As Sakura went pale, Noriko paused, her wristwatch beeping. "Damn! I forgot all about that idiot Sagus Tuxedo!"
"Saggawha!?" Sakura exclaimed, facefaulting.
"Nevermind that, Bubblehead Blyledge," the Actuary chuckled. "Just let me borrow the sword for a bit. I'll bring it back-- with interest."
Sakura protested slightly. "I never actually achieved Bankai-- I need to tra--"
Noriko smacked Arataka out of Sakura's hand. "You trained under Bruce Lee, didn't you?"
Sakura sighed. "No, the aliens invaded and he got distracted beating them up before I could join his school."
"The Weapon doesn't make the woman," The Actuary counseled.
"Then why did you come all the way from Expel for my sword?"
"I NEED SOMETHING SHARP THAT CUTS!" Noriko bawled, spittle covering Sakura's face as she snatched away the sword and left in a huff.
"Geez go to a store next time," Sakura pouted, looking at her hands, not knowing what to do.
"Hey kid," said a deep voice behind her.
Turning her head, Sakura shivered. "Za--Zaraki-taichou?"
Haruka returned home in her tight spandex starfleet uniform and crawled into bed. "Hi..." she said in a smooth silky voice.
"Hi, Michi," a drowsy, spent David Hasselhoff muttered.
Haruka got the axe.
T-7: Down the Tubes
"Forgot to give this to you, you vanished so fast," the Captain of the 11th squad said, tossing her a small chevron-shaped plaque. "The mark of an approved Shinigami substitute."
"RIGHT!" Sakura exclaimed, grabbing the plaque and smashing herself in the gut, her soul popping out of her body. "THANKEES!"
"H-Hey!" Zaraki asked in shock. "Where the hell are you going, kid!?"
"Exactly!" Sakura confirmed vanishing. "Next stop, HFIL!"
Arataka in hand, Noriko climbed back in the Mizunomics tower, floor 890.
Through the louspeaker system she could hear Tuxedo Sagus as he fought Dias Flac.
"Stand there and let me smack you with my pole!" Sagus yelled. "You like that! YOU LIKE THAT?!"
It was the first time Dias Flac had cried out in fear like a little girl.
"O...kay..." Noriko muttered to herself, looking at the hoarde of generic demons that had surrounded her.
Yes, she decided, the sounds of dying demons at the hands of Sakura's blade would be better than hearing Dias Flac gettign flagellated by Tuxedo Mask's pole.
KITT bounced up and down, bouncing bouncing bouncing.
"thank goodness you got stick shift" someone said from inside.
Hotaru got the Glaive.
T-6: Grooving with Big Green
"Do I know you?" the tall green Namek named Piccolo asked the blonde woman in strangely archaic clothes standing before him.
"Well see you know King Kai and I know him too, so it's just as similar," Sakura said authoritatively.
"I see," Piccolo said, sweatdropping. "So who are you?"
"I am the Time Lady Sakura Xadium Aino, from the Planet Gallifrey in the Constellation of Kasterberous, very pleased to make your eminent Acquaintance! And today, just like Son Gohan back in the day, I've become your student! (I dated him once, you know, back when he was the Great Saiyaman)"
"Like back in the day, huh?" Piccolo asked himself, a smile forming on his face. "Yes, after conquering hell I have become bored. So I will train you."
"Just like I trained Gohan," the Namek muttered.
Sakura grinned. Then Piccolo threw her at a mountain.
T-6: Rise of the Barrelmen
MIZUNOMICS TOWER, LEVEL 998 / 999
Standing atop the pile of dead demons, Noriko's heraldic crests tatooed on a subdermal layer of skin in her back glowed, taking in some of their energy, her power level and speed increased as her space/time cellphone rang, emitting a chirping melody.
Suddenly refreshed, Noriko charged upstairs, and met Dias Flac, who was sore from his rigorous poling. She was about to ask him what was going on, when a loud thumping sound-- the sound of hundreds of clog-covered feet marching in unison-- reached her ears.
Within moments, there was an army of men and women all wearing white bodysuits and surrounded by petrified barrels facing her.
"We are the Barrelmen" one of them intoned. "You belong to us. You will be like us."
Noriko just facefaulted.
T-6: Does it really surprise you
"Business Man Furuhata Motoki arrested today for trying to tackle hello Kitty dressed up as Baditz-Maru. Hello Kitty was quoted as saying: 'I have no mouth, but I must scream'".
T-5: Pinch hitter
It had taken rei.bot five point three seconds to slip back fifty light years and mass an energy shield the size of Jupiter's radius, then slam forwards again at near warp speed so as to physically push the Saturn-sized planet in her path with the equivalent of a hockey stick, casting it at Lady Oblivion like an errant cue ball.
Oblivion smirked and shot "upwards", dodging the planet. "Bah, something that big is easy to dodge!"
rei.bot pointed to the star *behind* Oblivion's original position, which the planet had slammed into... and detonated, hurtling the two of them into another star system by an Earth-like planet.
"DAMN YOU!!" Oblivion cried out as the star went nova and fried her body instantly. She lay prone in space, her molecules finding one another and trying to reattach.
rei.bot flew forwards and began vaporizing each of the stray molecules in her path, hoping to get them all before she could reform.
As rei.bot made it to the main bulk of Oblivion's body, which had fallen through the atmosphere of the planet, she landed on the ground and prepared to incinerate the entire mass. But unbeknownst to rei.bot, a portion of the body had reformed behind her, wielding the fully formed Deathblade.
"Got you," Oblivion cooed, slamming the sword down on the back of rei.bot's neck.
"I don't think so," said a new voice, as a wooden bokken slammed into Deathblade, holding it fast inches from the miko's neck.
"....sakura?" rei.bot asked in geniune shock as she saw her "pet" standing before her, the Time Lord's massive spirit pressure kicking up waves of dust and sand around her, a white cape fluttering around her shoulders in the wind. Her spirit force was so dense, so terrible, that it had infused the simple wooden instrument with enough power to hold back the metal of the Cold.
"She's baaaaaaaaack~" Sakura chimed, smiling.
T-5: The Age of Seal
MIZUNOMICS TOWER, LEVEL 998 / 999
"Take her," intoned one of the Barrelmen, gesticulating to a room off to the side, "for Barrel conversion."
"We obey," several Barrelmen said in unison, grabbing Noriko and shoving her towards the room.
"Soon she will be one of us," the Barrelman said to Ashton, who had come downstairs.
"Excellent," Ashton intoned, clenching his fist.
"You realize no Americans will get this joke," Noriko protested as they continued to shove her towards the Barrel conversion room.
"Soon you will learn the beauty of Barrel," Ashton said, nosebleeding slightly as he ran his hand over his smooth, hard petrified surface.
"Don't you think there's more to life than just being a barrel!?" Noriko yelled.
"What do you mean?" Barrel controller Ashton Anchors asked abruptly.
"You used to spend your days stroking and caressing barrels, admiring them, plugging their holes--" She paused to vomit. "In any event, you were a man who loved to touch barrels. Can you even feel the smoothness of a barrel against your bare flesh any longer?"
Ashton paused, and walked over to a barrelwoman. He tried tyo hug her, but his barrel shell clunked against hers-- the distance was too great, he couldn't get his arms around her.
"I... I..." Ashton began, suddenly unsure.
"How can you love barrels now, Ashton!?" Noriko plead, not believing she was actually saying this. "This is what it means to be a Barrelman! To lose all hope, all touch, all feeling with the one thing you love more than anything else in the world! A cold, hard barrel!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ashton screamed, running forward madly, tears flying from his eyes as he smashed into the front of another barrelman, their hard petrified cases splintering and smashing apart.
"RELEASE HER!" Ashton commanded, and the other barrelmen let her go, standing around in confusion. Eventually, like turtles, they drew their arms into their barrels, knelt down and lowered their heads so their lids closed, sealing them in.
The age of the Barrelmen was over.
"I won't... let him get away with this!" Ashton cried, running upstairs to confront Tuxedo Sagus.
Noriko went to follow, but was stopped by a hand roughly grabbing her shoulder.
Turning, Noriko saw the stern, cold face of a broken Dias Flac.
"..." he growled.
"Oh, blast," Noriko muttered as he headbutted her and the world went black.
T-5: for I hath murdered sleep
Zoicite, tired of the demands of being asked to roll around in Sakura petals all day in the nude, hired a hitman to "do" Kunzite.
Now he can't sleep at night for the noise.
T-4: Divide and Conquer
Sakura just grinned as Oblivion looked at her blinking, not understanding.
"I thought you'd run home with s[BLEEP]t on your pants and left the miko to fight your battles for you," the demonic creature that barely resembled Eudial cackled.
"Heh," Sakura chuckled, pushing the Deathblade back a few inches. "Beware Time Lords bearing gifts." She stuck her hand into the pocket of her vest and pulled out some limp pieces of paper which stiffened into solid, razor-sharp spirit wards. "Have a fistful of Ofuda!" She grinned and stabbed Oblivion in the stomach with the wards hard, the papers easily penetrating her body.
Lady Oblivion let out an unholy scream as the Mistress 77 energy writhed in agony. She dropped the Deathblade into the desert sand, not even realizing it.
In a flash, rei.bot had grabbed the sword and, her right arm being infected slowly by the Cold, flew to a world 65 million years in the past-- Earth.
In space, rei.bot saw an approaching space freighter about to crash into the planet. That would be the genesis of the nuclear winter which would doom the dinosaurs-- a race doomed to die. If they were forfeit anyway~
rei bot extruded the shiny red glowing Gero energy collector in her left palm, and began to pull in all the life force on the planet from the larger mammals, killing them instantly. Using their pure life force, she pushed back the evil of the Cold, cleansing the metal much as she had cleansed her own body years ago.
She held the small block of translucent metal and regarded it. Its technology was newer than hers. She had not been able to stop its attack on her body. But what if she let it win~
rei.bot swallowed the metal whole, allowing it to melt, suffuse and invade her system. But instead of letting it seal her out of time, she let it integrate with her body, merging, synthesizing, tempering, fusing, alloying and allying...
rei.bot's aura exploded like the outer shell of a supernova, shearing half the atmosphere from the planet. She had been reborn stronger, faster, deadlier, wilder. She was now a creature of Cold Validium, something new.
Taking a piece of herself, rei.bot reformed the blade "Vindicator" and tilted her head, looking out across half the universe to whee Sakura and Eudial were fighting. She pulled her arm back, and threw the blade out into space so hard it broke into subspace, vanishing in a blast of Cherenkov radiation.
On the planet where Eudial, now coughing up Ichor and no longer "Lady Oblivion" stood, Sakura grinned, sensing something coming. Holding up her right arm, she tossed away her bokken, grabbing the shiny blade that had just sliced through the heavens to get to her.
"Vindicator," Sakura noted, liking the sound of the name. "Very 'V'. V for Venus' Vendetta of Violent Vengeance and Virtuous Victoli..."
Eudial spat and stood, the Tairon demon in her healing her wounds. "I'm not that easy to kill, b[BLEEP]tch", she coughed. "Not like you had the balls to anyway last time we met."
"Oh I'm sorry, that was Sakura of the Old School," Sakura said dismissively, hefting the blade over her shoulder. "But this is Sakura Xadium Aino 2.0. A new style for a new dawn~" She slowly stepped forward, footsteps crunching the pebble-covered ground.
"No more equivocations, excuses, or explanations... just a brilliant breakbeat in battle--"
"JUST Get on with it!" Eudial roared, bulking up into a rippling muscled hulk three times sakura's size, with organic blades for arms.
"--a beautfully bitchin'--" Sakura continued, undeterred, holding the sword aloft.
T-4: Understanding through fighting
Noriko smashed into a barrelman, a disc in her back almost slipping. Luckily for her, her vertebrae were joined by muscle, not cartilage, so the damage was less.
Dias Flac advanced on her, sword out.
"Why, Dias," she spat, ejecting a sharp incisor from her mouth. "Why!?"
"..." Dias replied at length.
"I didn't need the whole life history," Noriko fumed, spinning out of the way as a ki attack from Flac's sword exploded one of the dormant Barrelmen.
"..." Dias explained.
"I don't care HOW HARD IT WAS!" Noriko yelled, throwing a Barrelman at Flac. "You shouldn't let him run over your personality like that!"
"..." was all Dias said in reply, looking away, batting the barrel away with his sword.
"You've got TONS of personality!" Noriko protested. "Believe me!"
"...?" Dias asked, hope in his eyes.
"RIGHT!" Noriko assented, giving Dias the thumbs up. The sound of a stiff poling could be heard from upstairs.
"Ashton!" She exclaimed, running up to help.
"...?" Dias asked.
"TO HELP SAVE HIM. NOT CANE HIM!" Noriko snapped in reply. But then again, it was the idiot Ashton, so...
Well she'd figure out the dilemna when she got there.
T-4: Eat at Subway
Jedite sucked the energy out of Usagi's fat friend. Now she's a size 7 and a billionare fitness model. Jedite still runs a 386.
T-3: Bankai Beatdown Beatbox
Sakura X. Aino is listening to: Number One (Nas-T Mix).mp3 [258 kbps]
...and you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee! --Ezekiel 25:17 Sakura
"You had your chance to kill me," Eudial gloated. The next second her left arm was lying on the ground, twitching, Sakura having passed by her in a flash of light.
Eudial went to pick it up and reattach it, but a thick, tree-trunk sized golden beam of light from Sakura's palm vaporized it utterly.
"That... was for my mom, who nearly miscarried thanks to your stunt with 'King Jeruka'," Sakura said flatly, blowing on her palm.
Eudial snarled and pulled out her Fire Buster mark V and showered the area with flaming Napalm.
Sakura took one microsecond to observe the flaming liquid's arc and then began to move, dashing and weaving between the particles even as they fell, slicing her sword into Eudial's stomach, bisecting her upwards, from stomach through head, then reversing the blade and stabbing down, completing the cut.
With a spinkick, Sakura knocked the right half of the body towards a mountain, fanning out Vindicator's blade into a kind of harisen, which she sliced sideways, sending a slash of power towards the remnants, vaporizing them, and a chunk of the mountain, into nothing.
As a landslide began, Sakura flitted up almost faster than the eye could see, running up the falling stones, gaining height.
"DAMN YOU!" the left half of Eudial screamed, shrunken down now to her normal size, one jagged black wing exploding from her back as she took to the air and rushed for Sakura, claws bursting from her fingers.
Sakura winced as the claws slammed into her chest, blood exploding forth. She cut the whole hand off with her sword. Eudial screamed and spit acid at her face. Sakura dodged in a blur, wrapping her love-me-chain around and around Eudial. The Redhead exploded the chains outwards. Sakura redirected the links back with a wave of her hand, stabbing into Eudial's body and exploding them.
Golden energy streaming from her wounds, Eudial flitted back to safe distance as Sakura stood her ground, her now-black cape rustling in the wind.
"My terrible trail of tears terminates today," Sakura declared flatly, pointing her blade at Eudial.
Eudial rushed Sakura with the howl of a banshee, her stump of a left arm now shaped into a pike and her right arm a battleaxe.
Sakura pondered something and dropped her sword. With a firece kiyap, she exploded her ki outward, blowing Eudial back.
Picking up the sword again, Sakura felt its energy, the part of rei.bot in it. Willing the blade to change, she let the metal flow over her hands, forming fingerless gloves that covered her own.
"She hurt you twice, r-chan... now it's payback."
Picking up her previously discarded bokken, Sakura let her power, rei.bot's power, and Kazuma Shinguuji's power flow outward and into the wood.
With a fearsome yell, Sakura ran foward, just as Eudial matched her with a yell of her own, charging forward.
"In the end, you became just a bellowing beast!" Sakura yelled. "Fueled only by a rabid revenge!" She kept charging forward. "And I was going your way... but now... I see you not as the end of my journey.... but as a step along the way....!"
"Going to spare me again, girl?" Eudial asked with satanic glee, forming her bladed arm into a double prong to pierce both her hearts.
"You're a ROADBLOCK!" Sakura yelled. "GET LOST! FOREVER!" She swished to the side, as Eudial paused for a split second to see which way Sakura would come from. Then from above, the crunch of wood into skull and bone. The onrush of spiritual energy so dense it was like honey in the air. Purification. Excorcism. Eradication. Extermination. End.
Sakura landed neatly on her feet, walking forwards as Eudial's body glowed bright gold, detonating into bright sparks of purified and disintegrated matter. She let the metal on her hands reform into Vindicator and sheathed the sword in Arataka's sheath with a satisfying click.
Yuuko Arimura was dead. And with it, Sakura's painful war.
Sakura walked up to rei.bot, who had been watching her with a slight smile, robes flapping in the wind.
"You have come a long way," rei.bot said with a smile.
"So've you, apparently..." Sakura said, tilting her head at the slight change to rei.bot's speech pattern, and the odd green flash to her eyes.
"do not get used to it," rei.bot scolded, thwacking Sakura on the back of her head, the miko's eyes going back to bright electric blue. "let us go home"
Sakura smiled and nodded, orange-blonde hair flapping in the wind as she took one long last look back at the barren planet with no name a billion miles from Earth. Here, here was the gravesite of her vengeance, her pain.
From here on in, she was reborn. In more ways than one.
Look out universe, Sakura Xadium Aino is back!
Meanwhile, the universe groaned and strained, the titanic forces unleashed by rei.bot in the distant past over Earth hitting the present and weakening the ever so fragile grip Usagi had on her mind...
The sword burying tiself into Usagi's shoulder slipped down a great deal further...
END OF THE BEGINNING
T-3: Understanding through fighting
As Dias made one last furtive attempt to attack Noriko, she swatted him aside, suddenly powering up again, her cellphone ringtone playing a LevelUp theme.
"HAH!" Noriko exclaimed, ki swirling around her as heavy metal started to play on everyone's iPod. "Now, Tuxedo Sagus, I will end this sick plot once and for all!"
"OH YEAH!?" Ashton yelled at Tuxedo Sagus, sweating from the heat of whatever battle had been going on between the two of them. "Well YO momma's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real, B[BLEEP]CH!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo!" Tuxedo Sagus screamed, the sheer power of the insult blasting his tuxedo jacket off and ripping his shirt, sending him flying out the 999th floor window.
Noriko just kind of stood there, limply dropping Arataka to the ground.
"..." Dias facefaulted and slammed into the ground passing out.
"I'm just..." Noriko stammered, bending down to pick up the sword. "I'm just going to take this back to Earth for Sakura, along with the bit of TARDIS I've been gr--"
Watching Ashton pose, Noriko sighed and just turned to leave, picking up Tuxedo Sagus' pole-cane and tossing it down the elevator shaft.
"Oh, CLAUDE!" Rena exclaimed from the depths of the shaft. "That pole is so HARD!"
"Why the HELL do I live here again?" Noriko asked, tapping the Time Ring on her arm and blipping out of existence, heading for Earth.
EXPEL MAY NOT HAVE AN INFINITE CRISIS, BUT NORIKO HAS AN INFINITE CRISIS OF INSANE ADVENTURE
T-3: Who are you?
It got so bad Ail bought a 6 hour primetime block of airtime on both Rantsom and Ginga media to brag about his evil alien empire. But at the end of the day they still called him "Gay Flower guy who made it with Tuxy in the tub."