Suburban Senshi IRC Chat #98: “Hotaru vs. RAW, Round 2. ”
#98: “Hotaru vs. RAW, Round 2. ”

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*** Topic is '-= Ar j00 redy 2 rumble =-'
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Well, last week Hotaru decided to prove that WWE wrestling was too predictable by predicting what the outcome "should" be based on backstage politics, as opposed to "real" results based on skill which should occur based soley on Wrestling skill. She got beat down to a bloody pulp, getting two miserable hits out of six matches. Hopefully since there was more lead time this week, she can think about the matchups more and render better decisions. We'll see. I still say that even though wrestling is fixed, it's not as predictable as say WCW was back in the day. Anyway, as promised, we're going to give it another go this week (updated as the show goes on)
* Match 1: Kane & Rob Van Dam vs. Rosey & Jamal & Rico
<FireFly_9> Hmph. Didn't we have this same match last week, with Batista in place of Rico? Kane won the match last week, and RVD is still being relegated to the depths of obscurity for no good reason, so I would expect Three Minute Warning to pick up the victory.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Heh. This week RVD got the pin... Hotaru loses again...
<FireFly_9> Feh. I guess they're pushing the RVD - Kane team as the next big tag team... (shrug) Notice that they have removed RVD from the singles picture entirely now, typing his fortunes to Kane. I suppose HHH doesn't want the competition.
* Score: WWE: 1, Hotaru: 0
*Match 2: Test vs. D'Lo Brown
<FireFly_9> Hmm... aside from being boring... the factors at play are that while Test may have been built up via the introduction of his "test-icles" (groan), they are trying to push the positively uncharismatic D-Lo as a legitimate "heel" threat. Thus the probability is he will find his way to victory, perhaps by dubious means.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Hehhehehehe... D-Lo got himself disqualified, so Test wins... Hotaru loses again :)
<FireFly_9> Gah. If I was the paranoid sort, I'd say he hit the referee specifically to derail my efforts.
* Score: WWE: 2, Hotaru: 0
* Match 3: Christopher Nowinski vs. The Hurricane
<FireFly_9> By all rights, in a fair universe, the Hurricane should win. But because of some silly bias against his gimmick, he will not.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Heh... Hurricane won via "The Shining Wizard"... I guess the universe is fair after all. :P
<FireFly_9> ... unbelievable.
* Score: WWE: 3, Hotaru: 0
* Match 4: Batista vs. Spike Dudley
<FireFly_9> Unless they intend to resurrect Spike Dudley's ECW reputation as the "giant killer" (which is highly unlikely, considering the bias WWE has against smaller wrestlers), this will be a total "squash" by Batista and a waste of the audience's time.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Hmph. My blind great-grandfather could have called that.
<FireFly_9> Sour grapes, Haruka-poppa.
* Score: WWE: 3, Hotaru: 1
* Match 5:Trish Stratus, Stacy Keibler, & Jacqueline vs Victoria, Molly Holly, & Ivory
<FireFly_9> Basing this prediction as I am on only the previews, I don't know if this is a mindlessly exploitative gimmick match or a "real" Women's match. That being said, if it is a gimmick match that focuses more on superficial appearance, Trish Stratus' team will win. If it's not a gimmick match, I would give the Contest to Victoria's team.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Heh... this matches appears to be both exploitative AND competitive... now what, 'taru-chan?
<FireFly_9> Geh... I say Trish's team will prevail.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Well, I have to give it to you... you called it correctly.
* Score: WWE: 3, Hotaru: 2

*Match 6: Booker T & Goldust (c) vs. Chris Jericho & Christian
<FireFly_9> Unless the booking team is smoking questionable substances, it's far too soon to have the title switch hands. Booker T and Goldust will win.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Well, well, well... you've managed to even the score... not bad.
<FireFly_9> :)
* Score: WWE: 3, Hotaru: 3
* Match 7(?): Scott Steiner vs. HHH
<FireFly_9> It doesn't take a genius to realize this will be another non-bout.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> HHAAHAHAHAHA... they got you BIGTIME... whether you like it or not an arm-wrestling match is a bout...
<FireFly_9> I have to give then credit for getting the two to "lock up" without actually having them fight...^_^;;
* Score: WWE: 4, Hotaru: 3
*Match 8: Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross vs. Regal and Storm
<FireFly_9> I don't even need to know the opponents to know it will be a meaningless, pointless squash, with JR and Lawler losing. Not that I would mind that much, as I am not terribly fond of either commentator to begin with. UPDATE: I take it back. If it's going to be Regal and Storm, bragging about how they are undefeated, the announcers will win, because it's Christmas and Eric Bischoff will need to be taken down a notch for the masses.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> And you called it again... guess you tied it up after all.
* Final Score: WWE: 4, Hotaru: 4
<FireFly_9> Hmmm... after the second week of this experiment I must say that WWE booking is indeed quite good. I think they've been improving in recent weeks. The arm-wrestling match was a very creative tactic which helped to elevate Steiner without resulting in a fight, which would have diminished the Pay-Per-View match. Kudos to WWE... but the fact that I can still call half of the matches says they still aren't random enough...
*** Disconnected