04 Jun 2003 C.E.
Food is just Human fuel!
Entered 06:33:37 PM Terra, Sol-III Mutter's Spiral
I am most likely in the plebian minority on this, but I have always looked upon food as something one eats to keep oneself alive, and not much else. Do not mistake me-- I prefer that it taste good, and indeed I prefer nothing more than a well-made Pizza to keep my palate happy... But that is about the sum totality of my pickiness when it comes to food. After reading this thread on metafilter, I found myself exposed to a world of delicate (and some rather indelicate) sensibilities when it comes to the realm of "fine dining". Personally, I've never understood the human need to pay exorbitant amounts of hard-earned money for something as ephemeral as a meal... something which will be chewed up, digested and ultimately expelled as a log of fetid excreta ere long... Give me a hard drive, or a computer processor, or something else I can use and re-use-- that's value for money... I could care less about what wine goes with what dead animal-creature's remains, or what the French words for "dead stuffed bird in fungus sauce" are... Now, lest you accuse me of being "uncultured", know that I have a fine education in and appreciation for the subtleties and contributions of other cultures, both Oriental and Occidential-- but frankly, the practical side of me chooses the study of HTML and website development over the ancient art of fork placement anyday... I have no idea what impact this will have on my career as a lawyer, as I have noted Lawyers tens to want to socialize at the most expensive places imaginable, whereas a simple slice of Pizza or fish fillet from McDonalds will do just fine for me... I may not have much in common with the "everyman", my thoughts usually tending to be too "highbrow" for most people's tastes, but in this one instance, we have common ground... or maybe we don't... I expect most people aspire to a fine gourmet experience at "Chez Fantastique"... I actually dread such a waste of time and money.
Hm.
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"The matter of why Doctor Xadium's Time Capsule is fixed in the curious shape of a 'beverage vending machine' from late 20th-century Earth [Humanian Era 607934] is a subject never broached in polite conversation. Ever. Whilst some have scurrilously posited that Xadium cannot properly effect the repair of a simple Type 60 Chamelionic circuit, it is generally accepted that these disgraceful innuendo are slanderous and utterly unfounded." - Lord Sendrilmetavanskastaron, "The Gallifreyan Renegades", thirty-eleventh ed. D O C T O R 
"Doctor Xadium was an errant Time Lord whose overactive sense of humour at High Council meetings earned him a more or less permanent holiday from Gallifrey. Stuck on Earth trying to cobble together a new TARDIS-- but equipped with nothing more than the technological equivalent of bear-skins and stone knives (as well as some metal tape)-- he decided to use his time to follow the myriad trends in Terran society, studying their crude, primitive laws and laughable attempts to improve themselves scientifically. Aproximately 26 Earth-years into his exile, in order to offset his growing frustration with the 'self-involved, short-sighted, bombastic ape-monkeys with delusions of grandeur"', he took to irregularly recording his more sardonic-- or dare we say even cynical-- views on the ever-progressing devolution of 21st century human civilization (not to mention his own petty irritations) in his 900-year diary, excerpts of which we have extracted from the data core of his notoriously insecure Terran 'computing device' (which in terms of function is slightly less advanced then a Gallifreyan child's first number line). It is almost refreshing to note the ceaseless amazement he displays at the Terran propensity to supress any information, be it political, archaeological or scientific, that gets in the way of their pedestrian, self-absorbed world-view. It is for this reason that historians have labeled Doctor Xadium 'The Discoverer of Obvious Truth' - Lord Sendrilmetavanskastaron, "The Gallifreyan Renegades", thirty-eleventh ed., WHO IS GOING TO GET SUED ONCE I GET BACK TO GALLIFREY BECAUSE HE DOESN'T REALIZE MY SUB-ETHER NET CONNECTION STILL WORKS AND I CAN SEE THE ABSOLUTE RUBBISH HE'S SPEWING FORTH OVER THERE AT THE OPPOSITE END OF THE GALAXY T H E |