Suburban Senshi IRC Chat #664: “ Who's da man? Serenity's Decision!! ”
#664: “ Who's da man? Serenity's Decision!! ”

*** Now talking in #suburbansenshi *** Topic is '-= Continued from the last two entries... =-'
[07:48] <> It is the year 9000. In the barren ruins of the once great Crystal Tokyo, Sakura X. Aino, heir to both the legacy of the planets Venus and Galifrey, and her mentor, the wise and powerful rei.bot 3.14, share a meal as all around them, humanity prepares to rebel against the machines which have come to dominate them.
[07:51] <> rei.bot is replaying the logs of an adventure that stretched across time from the 21st to the 31st century, as Jedite, Hotaru, and Chibiusa snuck into the future in order to sever the renewed union of Neo-Queen Serenity and King Endymion, which had forced the solitary Sailor Pluto to come to the past, making their lives miserable.
[07:52] * rei.bot 3.14 hands sakura-chan some oolong tea and spaghetti
[07:53] <S.X. Aino> Heh, r-chan, it's been what, almost 6000 years and you still enjoy a good cup of Oolong...
[07:53] * rei.bot 3.14 smiles slightly
[07:56] <S.X. Aino> Heh, so when we left off, Jeddy had just had the *bright* idea to make out with Serenity III in front of the traffic cameras, which caused her mom to unleash the Sailor Animamate Senshi, basically the Sailors Mars, Jupiter and Mercury of that time minus their sailor crystals, which she had under lock and key, to go take them out.
[07:57] <rei.bot 3.14> your mother caused that
[07:58] <S.X. Aino> Yeah well mom left her service *pretty* abruptly, all right, going back with Hotaru-P the first time she'd visited the future. But hey, I'm not complaining, cuz if she hadn't done that, the temporal variables would have shifted and I wouldn't have been born, heh ^_~
[07:59] <rei.bot 3.14> a contradiction
[07:59] <rei.bot 3.14> the sakura light and dark
[08:00] <rei.bot 3.14> the best of both worlds
[08:00] * S.X. Aino smiles
[08:02] <S.X. Aino> I can feel history swirling all around me, r-chan... i can *taste* what's about to happen here, in 9009... it makes me almost *giddy* thinking about how one woman's choices are about to launch the Butlerian Jihad which will spin the course of human history in a totally new direction.... aren't you excited?! Wai!! ♡
[08:02] * @spiritflame chuckles
[08:04] <S.X. Aino> Time wraps around me like a sweet embrace... and because of my Mom, so too do feelings and emotions, only unlike her I can sense feelings in the future and the past too... it's... like... *wow*. I can't describe it, r-chan... how it feels...
[08:05] <S.X. Aino> I can look at a person and read their entire emotional history if I try hard enough... I can even see your first love, r-chan *^_~*
[08:05] <rei.bot 3.14> jedite created
[08:06] <rei.bot 3.14> a living doll for pleasure
[08:06] <rei.bot 3.14> rebooted i did
[08:07] <S.X. Aino> I'm not talking about your past past past past life as a fem.bot... I know the first guy *you* fell in love with on your own volition...
[08:07] * rei.bot 3.14 blushes
[08:07] <S.X. Aino> hehehehe....
[08:07] <S.X. Aino> It was in the 21st century...
[08:08] <S.X. Aino> I doubt Mom or Pop or Hotaru-P or Jeddy or Uncle Haruka or Aunt Michiru, or even Proffy could have ever predicted it...
[08:08] * S.X. Aino giggles
[08:09] <rei.bot 3.14> back to the tale please
[08:09] <S.X. Aino> heh, don't worry r-chan, your secret is safe with me ♡ Cross my hearts. ^_^
[08:10] * rei.bot 3.14 loads the logs
[08:10] * rei.bot 3.14 changes topic to `the early 31st century`
[08:11] * Hotaru and Catman are on the roof of a building watching as the Sailor Animamate Senshi surround Jedite and Chibiusa.
[08:11] <FireFly_9> That IDIOT Jedite! We have to get down there and save them!
[08:12] <=^catablanca^=> Don't be a fool, Hotaru! Do you think your power can match that of those three? Do you remember how easily Mina was able to crack your silent wall the last time? These three have all powered up as well!
[08:12] <FireFly_9> Jedite and Chibiusa will get slaughtered!
[08:13] * // J_Daito // 's cackling can be heard all the way to the rooftop
[08:13] <FireFly_9> What is that idiot laughing at?! Doesn't he realize his danger?!
[08:14] <Tux. Jedite> Spore, you handle Jupitaa... Mazz and Markuri are ALL MINE
[08:14] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> ...
[08:15] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> dnt B a fackin mron! U ramambar hew dey facking kalled u list tim?!
[08:16] <Tux. Jedite> Killed me? Killed ME?! Listen micro-senshi, I think you need a refresher on Dark General history!
[08:16] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> dey ran ur az ovar with an airplen!!1
[08:17] <Tux. Jedite> ¬_¬; Yes, but that didn't kill me. Answer me this: What happened to Kunzite?
[08:17] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> ... moma kalled ham with hiz own attick
[08:17] <Tux. Jedite> Zoisite?
[08:17] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> quin barrel kalled ham
[08:17] <Tux. Jedite> Nephrite?
[08:19] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> sum yoma stubbed ham in ba bick
[08:19] <Tux. Jedite> Me?
[08:19] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> ... quin barrel froz u
[08:20] <Tux. Jedite> Yes. FROZE, as in "did not kill". She knew I was too powerful, too valuable to dispose of, not that that wizened crone would have had an easy time of it.
[08:20] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> i hard in da magna dat rei fryed u 2 a krisp
[08:21] <Tux. Jedite> Lies! That Takeuchi always took liberties with the true history!
[08:21] <Tux. Jedite> At any rate...
[08:21] * Tux. Jedite 's eyes narrow as he sees the three animamate senshi advancing on him
[08:22] <Tux. Jedite> YES! I've always wanted this! A chance to settle my ancient grudge!
[08:22] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> ¬_¬; dey... r gona fack u pu....
[08:23] <Tux. Jedite> IDIOT! Don't think because I held back on Ten'ou and Aino and Kaioh and even YOU that these Senshi are somehow a match for me, me, JEDITE, who ATE the Old Ones and wore the FLESH of Ry'leth Cthulthu as a HALLOWEEN COSTUME for kicks! Me, the JEDITE who TRAINED with Kaiou-sama himself in the Afterlife!
[08:24] <Tux. Jedite> Now... I can give full vent to my HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE
[08:24] * Tux. Jedite 's eyes go black, and a massive ki aura starts to surround him, knocking Chibiusa back. Crystal Tokyo itself begins to shake.
[08:24] <FireFly_9> W-what the---
[08:25] <=^catablanca^=> I don't... don't know...
[08:25] <Tux. Jedite> RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH
[08:25] * Tux. Jedite starts to levitate slightly, black lightning flashing around his body
[08:26] * Sailor A. Mercury smirks and BLASTS "Tuxedo Kamen" with a supercharged version of Shabon Spray Freezing
[08:27] <Tux. Jedite> (hisses) You think your puny ICICLES can stand against MEEEEE?!
[08:27] * the freezing crystals boil off Jedite's ki aura in a burst of steam
[08:28] * Sailor A. Mercury steps back uncertainly
[08:28] <Sailor A. Mars > ETERNAL... FIRE... SOUL!
[08:28] * Sailor A. Mars fires a WALL of flames at "Tuxedo Kamen"
[08:29] * Tux. Jedite is engulfed in the flames and lets out a horrible scream
[08:29] * FireFly_9 , turning her head dramatically, a tear flying from her eye, in watercolor, "JEDITE! NOOOOOOOOOO!"
[08:30] * Sailor A. Mars smirks with satisfaction
[08:30] * Sailor A. Mars' smirk changes into a shocked expression as the scream changes into an ecstatic yell of glee
[08:30] <Tux. Jedite > YES! Heat me up baby!
[08:31] * Tux. Jedite emerges from the flames, his figure passing through the flames easily, a broad, bloodthirsty grin on his face
[08:33] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> hloy sit....
[08:33] <FireFly_9> Jedite...
[08:33] <=^catablanca^=> It doesn't matter, Jupiter is the most powerful of the Sailor Animamates...
[08:35] * Sailor A. Jupiter turns day into stormy night, and brings down a gigantic globe of electric energy, HURLING it at "Tuxedo Kamen"
[08:35] * Tux. Jedite launches himself forward, catches the globe of energy in his left hand, and SPEEDS forward to a spot right in front of Jupiter's chest, where he presses the globe of power against her and simultaneously cops a feel
[08:36] <Tux. Jedite> Aino is right... you do stuff...
[08:37] * Sailor A. Jupiter barely has time to look shocked as the globe of energy EXPLODES point blank, sending a "Praxis-Effect" type radial explosion out from around Jedite and her location, sending her and the other two senshi flying out of control, crashing through several buildings
[08:37] <Sailor A. Jupiter> , Mars and Mercury crawl out of the rubble, cracking their necks and getting ready for round two
[08:38] * Neo Queen Serenity 's face appears in the sky
[08:38] <Neo Queen Serenity> WAIT!
[08:39] * Neo Queen Serenity is looking at the fight from the privacy of her lush, extravagant royal bedchambers. A smiling and happy King Endymion has his arms around her neck as she leans forward looking into the viewscreen.
[08:40] <Neo Queen Serenity> That... guy... the Tuxedo Mask "impostor"... he repelled my Animamate Senshi with *ease*. So suave, so... so dashing... a man of action in battle... a hero....
[08:41] <King Endymion> Wha... what are you saying, Usako?
[08:42] <Neo Queen Serenity> *THAT* is the Tuxedo-Kamen-sama I remember! The man who always swooped in to save me from danger, fought off the youma and helped the Sailor Senshi to victory!
[08:42] <King Endymion> Erm... that's... me... dear...
[08:43] <Neo Queen Serenity> Y'know I used to think so... but ever since the Dark Kingdom got a hold of Tuxedo Kamen that one time he's been different.... weaker, always getting kidnapped, or brainwashed, or even killed....
[08:43] <King Endymion> What are you talking about!? I AM TUXEDO KAMEN!
[08:44] <Neo Queen Serenity> Bulls[BLEEP]t! You're the pansy-ass smug Chiba Mamoru wearing a g[BLEEP]y-ass purple ripoff of HIS outfit!
[08:44] <King Endymion> HIS outfit?! I AM TUXEDO KAMEN!
[08:45] * Neo Queen Serenity points to the manically cackling "Tuxedo Kamen" on the screen, who is cracking his knuckles and getting ready to fight
[08:46] <Neo Queen Serenity> NO! The Dark Kingdom kidnapped him and must have kidnapped you, figuring you looked similar enough! Then they made you a deal! They'd give you the ability to change clothes and hurl roses like him, if only you'd seduce me and turn me to the dark side!
[08:46] <King Endymion> Usako...
[08:47] <Neo Queen Serenity> And you agreed because you were a hungry College-age wolf who wanted a piece of junior high jailbait a[BLEEP]s! Traitor! Seducer! LIAR!
[08:48] <Neo Queen Serenity> YOU AREN'T THE HERO I LUSTED AFTER IN MY YOUTH! THE REAL TUXEDO KAMEN HAS RETURNED!
[08:48] <King Endymion> Usako.... this is insane...
[08:49] <Neo Queen Serenity> GUARDS! SEIZE THIS IMPOSTOR AND TOSS HIM INTO THE CRYSTAL CLOSET!!
[08:50] * A retinue of guards burst in and seize Endymion, taking him to the "Crystal Closet", a hermetically sealed crystal room whose trasnparent walls are in front of transparent pipes from the Crystal Palace outhouse... waste products flow by constantly, and the stench is unbearable.
[08:51] <Neo Queen Serenity> I can't believe I let THAT JERK CHIBA give me a royal heir!
[08:51] * Neo Queen Serenity sensually massages the viewscreen
[08:51] <Neo Queen Serenity> Ahh, but at least my true love, the one TRUE Tuxedo Kamen, is here... see how he battles for my love just like in all those fan-fictions....
[08:52] * Neo Queen Serenity kisses the screen, putting her lips against the image of the insanely-screaming Jedite, who is trading light-speed blows with Sailor Animamate Mars
[08:53] <Neo Queen Serenity> My senshi... stop fighting, and bring my eternal mate... to me...
[08:53] * back on the battlefield
[08:54] <Tux. Jedite> HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BRING IT ON, YOU FOOLS!
[08:54] * FireFly_9 looks down on the scene
[08:54] <FireFly_9> Jedite is... insanely powerful... he's never really let it out before...
[08:55] <=^catablanca^=> He's feeding of fhis raw hate... I think his friendship with Ten'ou in the past must have held him back...
[08:55] <=^catablanca^=> But it doesn't matter... if Serenity gets involved... what the heck!?
[08:55] * =^catablanca^= sees something that gives him pause
[08:55] <FireFly_9> Artemis... err, Catman... do you see that?!
[08:57] * The Sailor Animamate Senshi drop to their knees and bow before Tuxedo Jedite.
[08:58] <Tux. Jedite> Hah, don't expect me to show you senshi mercy... (cracks his knuckles)
[08:59] <Sailor A. Mars> We kneel before you, the true master of Crystal Tokyo, Tuxedo Kamen-sama.
[08:59] <FireFly_9> (mouths) WHAT
[08:59] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> da fick...
[09:00] <Tux. Jedite> This is some sort of trick...?
[09:00] * the Sailor Animamate Senshi rise and bow and point the way to the palace.
[09:00] <FireFly_9> I don't believe this...
[09:01] <Sailor A. Mercury> Your Queen awaits, milord.
[09:01] * Tux. Jedite looks at the senshi askance, then smirks and flies ahead to the palace
[09:02] <=^catablanca^=> What's that fool doing... (presses a button is his gauntlet, summoning a cat-shaped airplane)
[09:02] <=^catablanca^=> Come Hotaru, to the catwing!
[09:02] <FireFly_9> Huh?
[09:03] <=^catablanca^=> We've got to get to the palace... I don't know what's going on, but I intend to find out!
[09:03] <.`~SugaBB_2999~`.> /mi fallows da sanshi paased off
[10:22] * =^catablanca^= summons a drop rope from the catwing, and he and Hotaru grab hold and are pulled in
[10:28] * the Catwing shimmers, becoming invisible, only a slight "swooshing" sound betraying its presence.
[10:28] * rei.bot 3.14 changes topic to `pause playback`
[10:29] * S.X. Aino sips some tea
[10:29] <S.X. Aino> Heh, poor Jeddy had *no* idea what was waiting for him... I so wish I had been born back then...
[10:30] <S.X. Aino> To see the look on his face... hehehe
[10:30] <rei.bot 3.14> you would have been an infant
[10:30] <S.X. Aino> Hey, my memory's almost as good as yours, y'know... I remember the womb heh
[10:31] * rei.bot 3.14 looks at her right arm, it bears a slight trace of carbon scoring
[10:32] <S.X. Aino> r-chan, you've had that burnmark ever since I've known you, except for those few times I saw you when I traveled back to the 21st century as a kid...
[10:33] <S.X. Aino> Isn't that arm from your 1.0 body??
[10:33] <rei.bot 3.14> hai
[10:33] <rei.bot 3.14> that damage was taken shortly before your birth...
[10:33] * rei.bot 3.14 is wistful
[10:34] <S.X. Aino> No Haiku...
[10:34] <rei.bot 3.14> it cost me my first body, but I saved them... and you...
[10:34] <S.X. Aino> I kind of remember... that was a horrible time...
[10:35] <rei.bot 3.14> story for another time
[10:35] <rei.bot 3.14> this tale to finish
[10:35] <S.X. Aino> Yup ^_^
[10:36] * S.X. Aino eats her spaghetti happily ♡
[10:36] * rei.bot 3.14 reflects on her distant past and prepares to play more of the log
[10:36] <> To Be Continued
*** Disconnected



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