Suburban Senshi IRC Chat #560: “MiST: Dragonball - The LIVE Movie [ Part 1 ]”
#560: “MiST: Dragonball - The LIVE Movie [ Part 1 ]”

*** Now talking in #suburbansenshi
*** Topic is '-= FOX take this as a lesson in WHAT NOT to do =-'
[01:48] <// J_Daito //> By Metallia I'm bored
[01:48] <Cést_la_V> We could always do another round of Karaoke!!
[01:49] <// J_Daito //> NO! If I have to hear you sing "Route Venus" one more time I'll stab out my own eardrums with this toothpick
[01:49] <Cést_la_V>
[01:49] <GERMATOID> WHAT IF WE WATCHED A MOVIE
[01:50] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> o i kno i wnt 2 ci mikakno's daved hasselhuff raw
[01:50] <// J_Daito //> I thought you said ti made you sterile
[01:50] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> I can change my mind!!
[01:50] <Cést_la_V> eheheh I kid of threw it out so Artemis couldn't blacklist me again...
[01:51] <FireFly_9> "Blackmail"?
[01:51] <FireFly_9> I know... a certain Channel Op of our acquaintance gave me this idea...
[01:52] <Cést_la_V> rei.bot?
[01:52] <FireFly_9> No, the one you FORGOT in ROPPONGI
[01:52] <Cést_la_V> I don't think he'll be mad ahahahahahaa
[01:52] <FireFly_9> ugh
[01:52] <FireFly_9> At any rate, I have a movie, which I bought at an old Chinese store many years ago whilst I was questing for Mogwi...
[01:53] <GERMATOID> I COULD HAVE HATCHED YOU ONE IN A LAB YOU KNOW
[01:53] <FireFly_9> ...
[01:53] <FireFly_9> At any rate, this is an officially licensed French dub of an officially licensed Japanese live-action Dragon Ball movie.
[01:54] <// J_Daito //> Too bad Ten'ou's not here, she would have loved this
[01:54] <FireFly_9> Somehow I doubt it. This is the most... ill-conceived, poorly-executed attempt at a movie adaptation I've ever seen.
[01:55] <// J_Daito //> Obviously you have not seen the early-80's adaptation of the Punisher. That was pure fetid Elephant waste.
[01:56] <FireFly_9> At any rate, let me put this in the DVD player...




[01:56] <// J_Daito //> Is that supposed to be Shenlong?
[01:56] <GERMATOID> LOOKS KINDA LOW BUDGET
[01:57] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> bai da lok on hiz face i dnt tink hez evar seen a bal DAT big b4
[01:57] <// J_Daito //> I get that look a lot myself.
[01:57] *** =^catablanca^= [arty@ip6943.ai.co.jp] has joined #suburbansenshi

[01:57] <spiritflame> Irasshai =^catablanca^=
[01:57] <Cést_la_V> Who said you could watch!?
[01:58] <=^catablanca^=> Aww c'mon, are you still mad at me for that joke?
[01:58] <Cést_la_V> ...no...
[01:58] * Cést_la_V pets Artemis

[01:58] <=^catablanca^=> OH GOD THE BURNS THE PAIN AUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
[01:58] <// J_Daito //> You are a cold woman, Aino Minako
[01:59] <Cést_la_V> Gomen gomen!!




[02:01] * GERMATOID ADJUSTS HIS GLASSES

[02:01] <// J_Daito //> What the hell does that say?
[02:01] <FireFly_9> "Dragon Ball - The Magic Begins"
[02:02] <// J_Daito //> Err... the "Magic" of crappy filmmaking?
[02:02] <=^catablanca^=> The "Magic" of making you regret ever having spent money on a piece of junk like this?
[02:03] <// J_Daito //> I wonder what kind of "Magic" crack rock they were smoking to get Toei to licence something like this
[02:03] <Cést_la_V> Yeah they won't license Sailor Moon stuff yet they'll crank this up!!
[02:03] <FireFly_9> "Out".




[02:04] <GERMATOID> OH LOOK IT'S A DRAGON BALL
[02:04] <FireFly_9> In the original they called them "Dragon Pearls".
[02:05] <// J_Daito //> Umm aren't the stars supposed to be IN the balls? Shouldn't they be red? Shouldn't the balls be Yellow-Orange?
[02:05] <FireFly_9> They obviously did not have the money for colored plastic.
[02:05] <GERMATOID> HEY HOTARU-CHAN, REMEMBER WHEN I USED THE DRAGON BALLS TO RESURRECT KAOLINITE?
[02:06] <FireFly_9> Yes well I have the feeling that if you tried to use these "Dragon Pearls" to ressurect her you'd probably end up with a loose-morals version of Chibi-Chibi
[02:07] <GERMATOID> OOH! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!
[02:07] <FireFly_9> ...




[02:07] <// J_Daito //> Oh look Darth Vadar has decided to invade rural bangkok or whereever the hell this is with his Micro Deathstars so he can get the Dragon Pearl
[02:08] <GERMATOID> NO I THINK THOSE ARE UFOS
[02:08] <=^catablanca^=> With machine guns.
[02:08] <GERMATOID> MACHINE GUNS THAT MAKE MACHINE GUN SOUNDS WHILE SHOOTING OUT LASERS!!!
[02:09] <=^catablanca^=> Yeah...
[02:09] <FireFly_9> I wonder if this scene was meant to evoke the classic "UFO over the White House" scene from early 50's cinema...
[02:10] <// J_Daito //> What, you mean in the "it makes me laugh so hard my guts come out my nose" kind of way?




[02:11] <GERMATOID> WHOA LOOK AT THOSE THATCHED HUTS EXPLODE
[02:11] <// J_Daito //> The HELL are those peasants keeping in their huts, Nitroglycerin?
[02:11] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> i tink ive seen da sam hous explot lak 20 tims alrady
[02:12] <Cést_la_V> Ooh I LOVE explosions!!
[02:12] <spiritflame> 10 bomb the village
[02:12] <spiritflame> 20 see villagers run
[02:12] <spiritflame> 30 chase villagers
[02:12] <spiritflame> 40 for X=1 to boring, goto 10




[02:13] <// J_Daito //> WTf... so our villains here are The Terminator, A Frieza-lookin' stormtrooper and Sailor Galaxia (with machine gun)
[02:13] <GERMATOID> NO I THINK THAT'S A CALLISTO RIP OFF FROM XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS
[02:14] <// J_Daito //> I guess so
[02:14] <FireFly_9> They all work for the main villain, as you will see.
[02:14] <// J_Daito //> So if this is dragonball, it will be that blue guy Pilaf, right?
[02:16] <FireFly_9> Well... he's blue, at any rate...




[02:17] <// J_Daito //> ....he took some roids... and swooshes back his cape to reveal... lacy-heart covered coulotte lingerie?!
[02:17] <=^catablanca^=> My god, I think it is, and it's in a heart pattern
[02:18] <// J_Daito //> WHY THE F[BLEEP]K IS HE DOING PELVIC THRUSTS AT US??!
[02:18] <FireFly_9> He seems to be "ecstatic" about the idea of getting the Dragon Pearls
[02:18] <// J_Daito //> No man no I've been a general of the Dark Kingdom, faced down Michael-Jackson looking alien FREAKS and even... well, we won't go there, but BLAST IT I AM DAMAGED
[02:18] <// J_Daito //> DAMAGED




[02:19] <GERMATOID> SPEAKING OF MICHAEL JACKSON....
[02:20] <=^catablanca^=> No way, that's Prince.
[02:20] <GERMATOID> MICHAEL JACKSON
[02:20] <=^catablanca^=> Prince!
[02:20] <GERMATOID> MICHAEL JACKSON!!
[02:20] <=^catablanca^=> PRINCE!!
[02:20] <GERMATOID> IT'S MJ YOU CAN SEE HIM ABOUT TO DO THE 'WHOO HOO" THING
[02:20] <=^catablanca^=> It's the Teenybopper Formerly known as Prince!
[02:20] <GERMATOID> NO IT'S A YOOUNG CONSTIPATED MICHAEL JACKSON
[02:21] <FireFly_9> Actually, that's Son Gokou.
[02:21] <// J_Daito //> The HELL you say
[02:21] * FireFly_9 nods

[02:21] <// J_Daito //> So they couldn't afford the spiky hair wig, so they gave him a bad jericurl
[02:21] <Cést_la_V> That's a guy??




[02:22] <GERMATOID> OH LOOK IT'S A TRAUMATIZED MOVIE WATCHER
[02:30] <FireFly_9> No, that sad sorry sight is Son Goku's grandfather, Son Gohan.
[02:30] <Cést_la_V> No Wonder they had Goku-chan kill him in the anime...
[02:31] <// J_Daito //> He'd look better dead
[02:31] <FireFly_9> That's a cruel thing to say, Jedite.
[02:31] <// J_Daito //> I'm a cruel man.




[02:32] <GERMATOID> THE RAP SCHOOL OF MARTIAL ARTS!
[02:32] <=^catablanca^=> Not exactly the dynamic duo, are they?
[02:33] <FireFly_9> More like the "Abbot and Costello" of the Martial Arts world...




[02:33] <// J_Daito //> Whoa, it's a post-apocalyptic techno girl!
[02:34] <FireFly_9> No, that's just Bulma...
[02:36] <// J_Daito //> Hah she has the same fashion NONsense as Live Action Minako
[02:36] <Cést_la_V> I don't know what thwy were thinking... I should sue them for false misrepresentation!!
[02:37] <FireFly_9> How, you lost your lawyer in Roppongi...
[02:37] <Cést_la_V> There's a song in there somewhere!!
[02:37] <// J_Daito //> For the love of Metallia, don't sing it.




[02:38] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> dat plaztik alligater mast be pizzed of
[02:38] <GERMATOID> (GOKU) "HEY GUYS, THE PROP BROKE!"
[02:39] <=^catablanca^=> No, it's our budget that's broken... with that prop...




[02:40] <Cést_la_V> Gohan-san, you really shouldn't try to light your farts on fire!!
[02:40] <=^catablanca^=> That brings up very unpleasant memories
[02:41] * Cést_la_V slaps Artemis on the back

[02:41] <=^catablanca^=> AHHHHHHHHHH THE PAIIIIIN! THE HURTING!!!!!!!!!!
[02:42] <// J_Daito //> Hmm... Destro and the Baroness... I mean Callisto and the Terminator just blew up Bulma's jeep




[02:42] <GERMATOID> DON'T WORRY, SON-KUN HAS YOU COVERED!
[02:42] <// J_Daito //> Man if he's so badass why doesn't he just pull a superman and FLY Bulma to wherever it is they're going
[02:43] <GERMATOID> SHE'D BURN UP FROM THE FRICTION
[02:43] <Cést_la_V> Ne... do you ever wonder if the elephant is thinking, "what the hell is happening to me? Why are there people on my back and other people watching me?"
[02:44] <GERMATOID> NO
[02:44] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> n
[02:44] <// J_Daito //> Animal's can't *think*, moron, they're not like you and me
[02:44] <=^catablanca^=> Ahem
[02:44] <// J_Daito //> As I said they CAN'T THINK
[02:44] <=^catablanca^=> grr




[02:45] <GERMATOID> WOW, OOLONG GOT A HELLACIOUS TAN!
[02:48] <Cést_la_V> Wow they made him into a baboon??
[02:48] <// J_Daito //> Baboon?
[02:48] <Cést_la_V> Yes he has the red butt
[02:48] <// J_Daito //> That's a THONG idiot
[02:49] * FireFly_9 shudders at the idea of Oolong in a thong

[02:50] * .'~SugaBB_2999~'. is tramatized

[02:51] <FireFly_9> Ugh, it's too late for this, I'm too tired, I can't watch any more tonight.
[02:51] <// J_Daito //> COWARD
[02:51] <FireFly_9> Oh well would YOU like to continue in my stead?
[02:52] <// J_Daito //> no not really
[02:52] <Cést_la_V> Hehe well I will have great dreams!! I'll see you guys tomorrow!!! Good night!!
[02:52] *** Cést_la_V [GldnGoddess@ip6942.ai.co.jp] has left #suburbansenshi (See me now, hear me later!!!)

[02:52] <// J_Daito //> I hate happy people.
[02:53] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> i got da facking couch sew u biches can slep on da flor
[02:53] *** .'~SugaBB_2999~'. [cndygrrl@gigaport.capitalnet.ct] has left #suburbansenshi (scoo U guyz im gong hm!!)

[02:53] <// J_Daito //> I hate children.
[02:53] * FireFly_9 switches off the TV

[02:55] <FireFly_9> Good night, all.
[02:55] <GERMATOID> L8R
[02:55] *** FireFly_9 [ruin@ntt1.docomo.jp] has left #suburbansenshi (The Sound of Silence is Truly Deafening)

[02:55] <=^catablanca^=> Well I shuld turn in as well
[02:55] <// J_Daito //> hah if you keep walking around like that someone's gonna turn you into a charcoal briquet
[02:56] <=^catablanca^=> :P
[02:56] *** =^catablanca^= [arty@ip6943.ai.co.jp] has left #suburbansenshi (This hep cat wears no hats)

[02:56] <spiritflame> very scary film
[02:56] <// J_Daito //> yup
[02:56] <// J_Daito //> I think Ten'ou wll have fun with it tommorow, tho
[02:57] <GERMATOID> YOU GONNA ARRANGE FOR A SUBSTITUTION?
[02:57] <// J_Daito //> heheheh
[02:57] <// J_Daito //> Why should I have all the "fun"?
[02:57] <GERMATOID> MUAHAHAHAHHAHAAH!
[02:57] *** // J_Daito // [Jed@dialup666.darkkingdom.co.jp] has left #suburbansenshi (Everything that elevates an individual above the herd and intimidates the neighbor, is henceforth called evil.)

*** Disconnected





 






That explains the whole thing.
This is on some serious crack.
Either that or I actually laughed when Professor Freaky and Artemis argued over the
Michael Prince-wanna be.

Not the ReiBot • 05/01/04 08:48pm

Didn't I comment on this before? Oh well. That is one of the worst adaptaions ever! Even Live Action Sailor Moon is better than this. *though I was deeoly angered they changed the Princess's dress*

Moonstar [e-mail] • 05/01/04 03:39pm

1988, huh? It did look pretty old and cheesy. Jeez, it's amazing what some people will film. At least it was MST-worthy.

Solarchos [e-mail] • 05/01/04 12:18pm

And as for "DJ WOLFWOOD"... it's best to remember that unless you're talking about someone else's house, company, or family, "Otaku" is a derogatory term. ^_^

SaiyaJedi [e-mail] • 05/01/04 10:04am

As I said over in the chatbox, this is NOT an officially-licensed film. It came out of Hong Kong back in 1988. It wasn't originally in Japanese, but Cantonese (The actors don't even look Japanese.) The movie was loosely (and I do mean LOOSELY) based on the first arc of the TV series, but is pretty much unrecognizable. Trust me... even if it was official (which it ain't), Toei denies all knowledge.

SaiyaJedi [e-mail] • 05/01/04 10:02am

I still would like to hear what Vegita and Piccolo would say to the Suburban Senshi about the film. Haruka and Jedite would have a field day if they guest starred in the IRC. Could prove to be most amusing and humorous...eh who am I kidding? I'D BE FRIGGING HILLARIOUS! HEHEHEHEHE!

SaturnGrl [e-mail] • 05/01/04 08:24am

as if DBZ was not allready a mockery to all things anime,the *movie*,if you must call it one,further takes away from it....I swear,if one more f**king guy in a Abacrombie and Fitch t-shirt tries to call themselves an Otaku because they regularly watch DBZ,someones gonna get my cosplay gunblade upside there nuts >={

DJ WOLFWOOD [e-mail] • 05/01/04 03:12am

Heh! I wonder if the Suburban Senshi could get a word in from the Dragon Ball Z crew and see what they think of the film. It would be an interesting IRC Blog with all of them in the mix.

SaturnGrl [e-mail] • 05/01/04 02:26am



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