#429: “Need a Girlfriend? Click here”

*** Now talking in #suburbansenshi
*** Topic is '-= Uranus needs women =-'
[04:45] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Hey guys you know any women I can hook up with?
[04:46] <FireFly_9> What's going on? Is this related to the loud shouting match you had with Michiru-momma this morning?
[04:46] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> I need to make her jealous, so I need to make a quick hookup fast
[04:46] <GERMATOID> I CAN POP A KAOLINITE IN THE MONSTERBAKE OVEN FOR YOU! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
[04:47] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> No that's okay, I need a chick who isn't undead... besides, Michi would recognize her
[04:47] <=^catablanca^=> Haruka, take it from me, just admit to whatever it is she's mad about and let her win, it's the only way... women are like that
[04:48] <Cést_la_V> ...
[04:48] <FireFly_9> ...
[04:48] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> ,,,
[04:48] <- spiritflame -> .....
[04:48] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> hehehe I know man
[04:49] <H3LI05> YOYOYO let me speak on dis / I gots da key 2 yer bliss
[04:49] <H3LI05> all u gots to do is say / I gots me a credit card and da ebay
[04:49] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> huh?
[04:49] <H3LI05> when i need a grown up cam whore / or to make saps think i gots a loving amour
[04:50] <H3LI05> I whip out my paypal / an book me a fake gal

I will write you a letter a week for two months sprayed with my personal fragrance.

[04:51] <FireFly_9> Underarm sweat?
[04:52] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> speyed? lik pis??

Most girls are willing to send you a sexy undergarment of somekind. I would rather send you a gift to your likes or interests.

[04:53] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> But what if I want the sexy undergarment?
[04:54] <H3LI05> hey don't get caught up wit a detail / wen you gots chicks giving it away for retail
[04:55] <FireFly_9> All they'll be giving away is stories about how they bilked some poor saps out of a ton of money.
[04:56] <H3LI05> Hah you're just all vexy / cuz you aint dat sexy
[04:57] <FireFly_9> Oh please, that's cheap and sleazy. Wedging your mammaries together in that fashion would make even Jedite look well-endowed.
[04:58] <// J_Daito //> Leave me the HELL out of this

2 personalized candid pictures for your wallet; one nice and one naughty, according to your preferences. ((are you into boobs or butts? lol))

1 autographed 8x10 professional erotic pic for your bedroom, locker, or other private area so you can daydream about me. That way, when you are asked about me, you will have a genuine opinion about 'us'.


[04:58] <GERMATOID> I'M INTO THE UNDEAD, MISS...?
[04:59] <FireFly_9> Papa!!
[04:59] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> lol sew dis is lik wat huppenz wan kamhors graw pu. i tink i nedz 2 mak a pag an hak my azzets
[05:00] <FireFly_9> That's pedophilia!
[05:00] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> FAK, U, BICH, IM. 903 FACKING YARS OLE!!!11
[05:00] <FireFly_9> A 903 year old elementary schooler!
[05:01] <H3LI05> Why you people be hatin' / dis chick is hot for fake datin!

will tell you how much I want you, miss you, and long to be held by you. If you have any other requests for topics we can work on that too!!!

[05:03] <GERMATOID> I WANT YOU TO TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU LIKE MY BUN-SEN BURNERS, BABE!

-I will send you one of my sexy undergarmets - your choice!!! (MY GIFT WILL EVEN BE SCENTED WITH MY PERFUME, SO EVERY TIME YOU SMELL IT, YOU WILL BE REMINDED OF ME) IF THE AUCTION GOES OVER $125.00 I WILL EVEN SEND YOU ONE ESPECIALLY SEDUCTIVE PICTURE OF ME ;)

[05:03] <FireFly_9> The one where she suggestively inserts your letter in her [BLEEP]?
[05:04] <Cést_la_V> Hotaru-chan!!
[05:04] * FireFly_9 is angry

[05:04] <FireFly_9> I'm sorry, this is so incredibly demeaning to woman and the concept of a loving relationship. It sickens me.

A REAL photo of me holding a sign with your name on it, saying how much I miss you - how is that for proof that you have a girlfriend!!

[05:05] <[ Dr_Xadium ]> Blah, all you have to do is make one photo in Photoshop and change the name each time, big whoop
[05:06] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> You... you realize you could totally use your power to make the ultimate fake date pics
[05:06] <[ Dr_Xadium ]> I have no interest in that sort of blithering rubbish.
[05:08] <H3LI05> man man man don't be a prude, why not check out this girl, dude?
[05:08] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> HEY! I'm the one with the needs here!

I will tell you how much you mean to me. I can also talk to you online on MSN. This is great if you want to make another girl jealous, or to prove to your friends or family that you do have a girlfriend.

[05:09] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Keh we can do that already from here, we'll talk to desperate people for green all [BLEEP]ing day
[05:09] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> "Hi, Jack, My name's Haruka, and I think you're umm.... like uh... .hot and studly yeah,... your buns are like steel and they... uhh... agitate me. Nonon They excite me, excite, yea... I can feel it in my pants. No wait! I mean, You're the hotness. Yeah baby, I mean, dude. The Total hotness of machismo."
[05:12] <FireFly_9> Gah! "The Total Hotness of Machismo?" That's Engrish if I EVER heard it!
[05:14] <H3LI05> stupid ppl you mock / when you could rock
[05:14] <H3LI05> dont you wanna have fun / with a hot lil nun?

Do you Want to be disciplined?
Well, I want to be YOUR Sister Christian for a month!
You just provide me with some basic information, and I will write you emails, Snail Mails, and send you a sexy part of my habit scented with cheap wine and incense!
I give very good advice, I will listen to all your problems, and I will absolve your sins, you bad bad boy/girl

[05:16] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> GAH!
[05:16] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- looks at her cross

[05:16] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Xadium, just photoshop me up a chick to make Michiru jealous
[05:16] <[ Dr_Xadium ]> no
[05:17] <[ Dr_Xadium ]> I will not cheapen the female species
[05:17] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- bitchslaps you with 5 million yen

[05:17] <[ Dr_Xadium ]> ...
[05:18] * --=[ SpeedRcrX ]=-- bitchslaps you with 10 million yen

[05:18] <[ Dr_Xadium ]> .......
[05:18] * Mdm_Maestro takes away the 10 million from Haruka

[05:18] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> crap you were there?!
[05:18] <FireFly_9> Don't you look at the side of the mirc window?
[05:19] <[ Dr_Xadium ]> I must uphold my standards, Haruka! I cannot be bought!
[05:19] <FireFly_9> ... interesting how long it took you to reach that 'noble' conclusion....
[05:19] *** [ Dr_Xadium ] [user-19fasjd.dsl.xadiumproductions.com] has left #suburbansenshi (eheheheheheeh)

*** Disconnected





 






Michi definitely needs to "rectify" things...especially so soon after Haruka's involvement in the "great Hotaru birthday screw-up".

Solarchos [e-mail] • 01/29/04 03:46pm

LOL I was thinkin' about it at the end there, wasn't I? Not my fault Michiru got in the way... still I suppose I should rectify this gross inequity. Watch for it.
(hands you some Buckley's for that cough)

Xadium • 01/29/04 12:23pm

No. The fact that you won't make a paintshop woman for Haruka, yet you really do seem to make Minako-chan as if she was an actual real woman. *cough*

YingGirl [e-mail] • 01/29/04 12:15pm

Is that irony in the Alanis Morisette sort of way or irony in the actual Webster's sense of the word?
The glaring lack of context makes it rather difficult for one to tell, ironically.

Xadium • 01/29/04 10:28am

....How utterly ironic.

YingGirl [e-mail] • 01/29/04 08:30am

Hit!Graph