Suburban Senshi: 'It's funny because it's not me.'
#348: “MiST - His Path, Chapter I”

*** Now talking in #suburbansenshi
*** Topic is '-= We so cruel =-'
[16:42] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> No, it's not time for RAW yet
[16:42] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> But we just got a question for "Ask the Suburban Senshi" (which will be coming out on Friday) whose answer would be too big for the column
[16:43] <FireFly_9> Yes, Duo asked us to read / MiST a Sailor Moon / Dragonball Z crossover fanfic.
[16:44] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Which we will do, one part at a time until we get totally sick of it
[16:44] <// J_Daito //> Also, if you've read utter CRAP you think would be fun for us to mock, please feel free to let us know about it
[16:45] <Mdm_Maestro> You do realize that we are probably crushing some poor innocent fanfic writer's hopes and dreams, like a twelve ton elephant trampling over a small rat that's discovered the taste of peanut butter for the first time?
[16:46] <// J_Daito //> and?
[16:46] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Anyway, the fic is called "His Path"... so let's get started!

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor moon or DBZ.

[16:47] <// J_Daito //> And I get the feeling we'll all be very glad of that fact when this is all over

Chapter 1:Lonely and Useless

[16:48] <// J_Daito //> Much like this fic
[16:48] <Mdm_Maestro> Much like Jedite
[16:48] <// J_Daito //> ...

The ice age had begun.

Darien watched the snow and wind hit earth through the mirror from the gates of time.

[16:48] <// J_Daito //> By Metallia I hope they're not going to watch that damn movie

His love, Serena, and the other sailor scouts were on earth; encased in ice. In a Millennia, Serena will break through the ice and reawaken everyone on earth with the Imperial silver crystal, She'll bring a golden age as Queen of Earth and the Universe. Together, they will rule and have their daughter, Rini.

[16:49] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> So on the one hand we have "Queen of Earth and the Universe" and other hand we have "Rini"
[16:49] <Mdm_Maestro> Hardly seems fair, does it?
[16:50] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> Ya i meen whoo da fak neds da unverise wen U gat mi!?!

What Pluto failed to mention, though, was that he would be immune to the effects be cause he was the guardian of earth. He stayed in the gates of time for his survival.

[16:50] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Yeah sure
[16:50] <// J_Daito //> (Setsuna) "Mate with me or DIE!"

"I'm alone again, how predictable. It seems my path in life will always be a lonely one. Its as if the gods hate me. "He said darkly.

[16:51] <Mdm_Maestro> No, it's just the rest of humanity that hates you and wishes you'd be cast into a pit of honey and set upon by flesh eating maggots who've been on a hunger strike for the last two weeks

He laid on his bed and twiddled with his rose between his hands.

[16:56] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> ...
[16:56] <// J_Daito //> I always knew he was a bit of a wan[BLEEP]er
[16:57] <Mdm_Maestro> Well when your chosen life-mate is a hideously underage child protected by a shotgun-wielding maniac, about all you can do is twiddle with your rose...
[16:58] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> kno wai, id beak d rulez n bi wit him1!!

2 years ago, he had given up being tuxedo mask. Serena and the sailor scouts no longer needed him anymore. Sailor Galaxia had proven that. Serena had defeated her and gained her cosmos form without his help. And he had been dead for months.

[16:58] <// J_Daito //> That guy was always dead
[16:59] <Mdm_Maestro> Inanimate objects provided better tactical support than he did
[16:59] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Man but I filled in all the paperwork and I STILL can't get my cosmos form

The scouts grew so powerful, that they all reached their eternal forms. Darien is not sure he has one. He didn't grow any powers of his own

[17:00] <// J_Daito //> No matter how much of that spam he answered, he couldn;'t make his powers grow
[17:00] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Which is probably why he kept twiddling it with his hands
[17:00] <FireFly_9> Did they just switch tenses in this passage?
[17:01] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> That's just pluperfect

and the only time he changes into his "Prince" form is when Beryl had him under control or when Serena changes to Princess Serenity.

[17:01] <// J_Daito //> Because Beryl likes the high-pitched, hot pants, buttcrack showing black musicans with glyphs for names
[17:02] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Serena and Prince: Yodelers Forever

Not to mention his roses didn't do squat anymore

[17:02] <// J_Daito //> As if they ever--
[17:02] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Lazy-[BLEEP] roses, they exercise for one week and then they won't even do squats
[17:03] <FireFly_9> They've really let themselves go.

"Maybe I should turn down this "king" title. This planet needs a king who can protect them from harm, and I can't do that if I'm always getting hurt. Or killed. Or brainwashed. If I can't protect myself, then I should just give up the golden crystal and my royal title." he muttered, halfway asleep.

[17:03] <// J_Daito //> Whoa self-reflective angsty sanity from the Earthly Prince!
[17:04] <FireFly_9> If the ability ot protect oneself was a prerequisite for holding power, half the world leaders would be ineligible.


Darien jolted awake and turned to the direction of the voice. Who he saw made his mouth hit the floor.

[17:05] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> As it had become detached from his face
[17:06] <// J_Daito //> HAhaha we'd mock more but that was the end of Chapter 1... more later, as they say on Toonami
[17:06] <--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Besides we need to rest up for RAW
[17:06] <- spiritflame -> Results I will give
[17:06] <- spiritflame -> Keeping the tally of victory
[17:07] <- spiritflame -> and harsh defeat
[17:07] <// J_Daito //> Why are 99% of the sentences out of Rei-sama's mouth faux Haiku? Prof, why did you reprogram her that way?
*** Disconnected