#285: “Mocking the Alien”

*** Now talking in #suburbansenshi
*** Topic is '-= Wonder where we got the idea for Mutanex? =-'
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Man, I'm bored... I feel like mocking the [BLEEP] out of something...
<// J_Daito //> Yo, Spore-child!
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> No, no... not today... we need to hit a site
<FireFly_9> I have one...
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Really?
<FireFly_9> Yes, this particular site was claiming that there would be a severe pole shift on the planet, triggered by the arrival of a 12th planet into the solar system
<// J_Daito //> Enter Sailor Globular Cluster?
<FireFly_9> More like Sailor "Marduk"... they appear to have plagiarised a lot from Zecharia Sitchin and Immanuel Velikovsky
<// J_Daito //> Immanuel? Wasn't he in a pr0n video?
<FireFly_9> No.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Wasn't he the dude in the bible who took the trip in the UFO?
<FireFly_9> That was *Ezekiel*...
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Right. Whatever... so can we make fun of something there?
<FireFly_9> Oh, most definitely. Ever since the date of the cataclysm came and went, the ridiculousness of the site has increased almost exponentially.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Then let us enter MST3K mode!
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> URL me!
<FireFly_9> For this edition of Mystery Suburban Senshi Theatre 3000, the magic url is http://www.zetatalk.com/index/zeta30.htm

ZetaTalk: Weak Explanations written Sep 21, 2003

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> This week, on ZETATALK! The critically acclaimed sweeps episode we've all been waiting for!
<// J_Daito //> See Nancy, the Zetan Emissary, lay the SMACK down on the government conspiracy with her HARSH words and DAMNING accusations!

Despite loud evidence that Planet X has arrived, the establishment has remained mute about this, offering weak explanations for the clues or remaining silent. The silence is deafening.

<FireFly_9> Someone has an obsession with noise.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Hotaru-chan has often been known to produce deafening silences.
<FireFly_9> Only when provoked.
<// J_Daito //> But if the evidence is so loud, wouldn't it be heard plainly amongst the silence?
<Mdm_Maestro> That's what you get for scrambling metaphors.
<// J_Daito //> Oh

The Second Sun and intense light from the Occulting Sun has been in place, and noticed for months by the public, even appearing on TV screens behind the weatherman, with no other explanation than atmospheric conditions

<FireFly_9> It has been? On what news channel is this?
<Mdm_Maestro> Weelkly World News Channel, obviously
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> That Second Sun... whatta ham, always chewing the scenery
<// J_Daito //> Funny, I always thought it was a lens flare myself

creating halos, sundogs along the halos, or lens flares when in photographs. That most of the photos do not include halos, thus no sundogs, and the supposed lens flares are occurring behind objects which prove they are not flares, is not addressed.

<// J_Daito //> What the hell is a "sundog"? Is that something you eat?
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> I think it must be a Floridian hotdog
<FireFly_9> If a lens flare occurs in a forest, can it be filmed?
Nor does this address the intense sun, scalding some crops while maturing others early.

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> The sun is a harsh and fickle mistress
<// J_Daito //> I scald my crops regularly-- with bolts of deadly ki should they fail to bloom

The lineal increase in erratic weather and earthquakes frequency and strength has been dealt with by under-reporting, dropping quakes from the databases and turning down monitors, but the truth has eked out from the UN, which issues summary reports, and from local reports which become international and contradict the quake data from the USGS, whose arm controls all earthquake reporting on a summary level.

<// J_Daito //> Because if I turn down my monitor I can't see [BLEEP] anymore.
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> That USGS has got some kinda arm there... maybe they should play for the Yankees

The erratic Moon, which changes it orbit and slings too close and then too far from Earth, is off-phase, is reflecting light from Planet X such that it looks misshapen, has received no mention by the establishment.

<// J_Daito //> that Usagi always was a clumsy clutz
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Are we looking at the same moon here?
<Mdm_Maestro> Nancy has her own *special* moon

Appearing days early in September, the Full Moon per old charts is not at all in synch with the new charts published by the Navy, as off synch as the sunrise/sunset times when compared to older charts run up when the Universe was stable and predictable to man.

<FireFly_9> Go Heisenberg?
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> The [BLEEP] are you two talking about?
<// J_Daito //> Damn, Ten'ou, you're so uneducated... everyone knows about Heisenberg! He was the gassy German fatass who burst into flames after getting hit by lightning!
<FireFly_9> ...
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Oh yeah, I think I remember hearing about that...

The establishment hoped to place anyone noticing these matters into the category of a fool, befuddled, or the old data incorrect, but the public is not so fooled and has come to another conclusion. They are being lied to.

<Mdm_Maestro> How do you place someone into the category of "the old data incorrect?"
<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Nancy no Engrish velly goot

The strongest indicator that Planet X has arrived, and has the Earth in its grip, is the regularity of Global Quakes, occurring when the highly magnetized Atlantic Rift either faces Planet X or is in opposition, both points when the Atlantic Rift lines up with the magnetic core of the Earth, or when the Rift on the crust hooves into view of Planet X at dawn, or pulls away from Planet X at dusk. Is this caused by Global Warning?

<// J_Daito //> Nope, sorry, the Bush administration definitively proved that Global warming is a figment of our imagination, yup.

Solar Flares? Is this normal earthquake activity, as documented in the past? In that calderas and fault lines have begun jittering in rhythm to these times,


earthquakes, a new relationship just invented. Thus as the text books are being rewritten, and all other evidence lies within the hands of a secret organization, NASA, that delivers only that which they want the public to know,

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> Holy [BLEEP] I ain't never heard of this 'NASA' before!
<// J_Daito //> I think it's a sub-branch of the Southern Illuminatus

the common man is left with his raised eyebrow and deep suspicion.

<--=[ SpeedRcrX ]=--> OMG! Someone stole the common man's other eyebrow!
<FireFly_9> I'm left with a deep feeling of incredulous amusement....
*** Disconnected