Suburban Senshi Chat #1822 - “Suburban Senshi: Endgame Part 1 - Hall-o-WTF”
#1822 “Suburban Senshi: Endgame Part 1 - Hall-o-WTF”

Suburban Senshi textmode


By Dr. Xadium



Bright lights. Photo flashes popping like explosive popcorn. A glittering red dress, hot curves and golden-blonde hair, high-heels hitting the office floor as a sea of Paparazzi follow in tow.

It was the first time in five years that Aino Minako was not in charge of Ginga TV, but you wouldn't know it by looking. Dressed up as Rita Hayworth, she was every bit the center of attention-- to the ire of almost everyone else at the party.

There was Haruka, dressed as Marvel's Thor. Michiru, as "Angry Henry Rollins". The nun, Chibiusa. Hotaru, as Chucky. Artemis the Velociraptor. Jedite as James Bond. Makoto as Misty, and Motoki as Pikachu, and Ami as the cripple Captain Pike from the classic Star Trek episode, "the Menagerie." All of them were being totally ignored in favor of one of Japan's most famous idols.

"Hi hiiiiii, Minna-san!" Minako exclaimed cheerfully, waving at everyone and blowing a kiss at the reporters, who scrambled all over themselves to get shots of her.

"Oh god, what a camera whore," Michiru exclaimed disdainfullly, adjusting her thick, black-rimmed hipster glasses and thumbing her nose at the popular girl. "Back in my day idols had class and sophisticated grace, now it's all blatant, dumbed down commercialised garbage."

"You mean like when Marylin Monroe stood over that air vent and gave out fanservice?" Chibiusa snapped tiredly.

Michiru, as was her way, completely ignored anything contrary to her perfect assessment of the situation.

"Can we just do the costume contest now?" Karasuma Akane snapped, dressed as Tin Nyanko's civilian form with a fake dagger through her chest.

Everyone lined off, with Minako's radiant outfit and stage presence basically blotting out everyone else. Michael Sunnyside, the new owner of Ginga, and the only one not in costume, along with his assistant Ms. Altair , looked over the costumes one by one.

"Hmm... 'Thor... Henry Rollins, Nun.... Chucky... Velociraptor.... James Bond.... Rita Hayworth... Misty... Pikachu... Cripple Pike... Cyberman..."

Sunnyside paused. "Cyberman?" He couldn't remember anyone being dressed like that on the guest list. But it was certainly a well done costume.... very detailed and authentic. Almost too authentic...

"You belong to us..." the Cyberman intoned, lurching forward, and grabbing a random waiter with one hand, electrocuting him to death. "You will be like us."

Immediately, panic filled the party room, and everyone who was a regular civilian bailed out as fast as humanly possible. With bursts of light, the Sailor Senshi in the room transformed and prepared to take out the lone Cyberman, who had managed to cut the lights out just as Sailor Uranus exclaimed "holy crap I have boobs again! And I lost the joystick!"

There was a sudden bright flash of light as the Cyberman's entire body was lit up, and it exploded into a twitching mass of flesh and steel. As the lights rose up, everyone was shocked to see that it was Sailor Mercury who had delivered the finishing blow.

"Ami-chan?!" Makoto asked in shock. Usagi had reduced Ami's mentality to that of a drooling idiot with the power of the Ginzuishou, and she had spent the whole night just sitting slack-jawed in the Captain Pike Wheelchair costume.

"Hello, everyone!" Sailor Mercury exclaimed cheerfully. "It's good to be back!"

Everyone clapped and surrounded Mercury, so glad to see their old friend was okay.

"Guys..." Motoki ventured weakly, having not joined the group hug. "We have a problem...."

Everyone slowly looked back at him, as he pointed to the Captain Pike Wheelchair, where Ami was still safely ensconced, drooling stupidly out of one corner of her mouth.

"That's right, b[BLEEP]tches," "Sailor Mercury" said with an ice-cold grin. "I'm not the Mizuno you're looking for." She tossed her hair, and a curly blue wig fell off, revealing shorter, more cropped blue hair underneath.

"Oh my god..." Makoto realized. "Toshiko!"

"That's right," Toshiko cackled. "Ami's little abandoned girl from the dream dimension." She raised up her arm in an almost ballet-like pose. "All come into her Senshi own~" She pointed her palm downwards, and dispelled a massive wave of ice, which froze everyone it touched. "MERCURY ICE TRANSFIXATION! "

Jedite slipped away in a portal just before the ice reached him, but Toshiko didn't care. Her prize was still before her eyes. She made her way past the frozen inhabitants of the room, and strode to the untouched wheelchair costume her mother was in.

"Hello mother," she said coldly. "Its m'e... Zonway Toshiko~ Your darling little girl~"

"Derp?" Ami asked, lolling her head further to the side.

"We're going on a little trip!" Zonway chirped, hefting up the wheelchair. "To that little island of yours in Costa Rica. The one you think is so hidden, but that floats even now on the sea of your dreams. Where Mizunomics keeps all its toys... the toys you brought back from the 31st century."

Carrying Ami out, she laughed heartily. It was time for the family business to change ownership... and for the world to know her name.



Ami's long-ago dream love affair comes back to haunt the world, and so does her time at the hands of the Death Busters! What's Toshiko's plan for the world, and can anyone stop her with the senshi on ice? Next time on Suburban Senshi: Endgame! Episode 2- "Jungle Fever! Mimete makes her move!"

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August 23, 2000: Ami, Rei, Minako and Makoto were having fevered dreams about the 30th century, when Queen Nephelenia attacked using Sutearingu, determined to find the Messiah of Silence. As the Senshi ran and screamed in a panic, The Four Strange Sisters joined them, callously watching from the distance. Tuxedo Mask got impaled in the shoulder. When all hope seemed lost, the Senshi got a break through sudden incompetence on the part of the villain. Sailor Moon used a specially modified pizza-based attack to win.


<@Dr_Xadium> Minako: I just thought of this silly little ditty: "I am Gollum, you are ring, you are my most precious thing"

My name is Meioh Setsuna. After taking a severe demotion at work even after years of painstaking guard duty and babysitting an ungrateful child who repaid me by trying to steal my man, now it is my task to present you these archives of other people who are generally not me having fun on the internet. So, enjoy it. And tell me what enjoyment feels like because to me it is a dead memory. Dead, like me inside.


Oh, hello dears. Obviously, I, "Michiru", need no introduction, but as a courtesy I shall remind you that I, Kaioh Michiru, scion of the venerable Kanzaki family, am a world-famous concert violinist and painter. Here you shall find a rare and exciting opportunity to browse my exceptional galleria which, of course, features not my own works (which are limited to the eyes of the super-elite) but those of inferior talents to whom I am regrettably indebted for web hosting space. Do enjoy~

Hino Rei here. I am the Head Priestess of the Hikawa Jinja in Azabu-Juuban (where we're currently offering a discount on blessings.) I graduated from Toyo Eiwa's graduate program in business, and I collect many different kinds of manga along with my husband Yuuichiro. You can see some of the various pixel manga I've collected on my old Toyo Eiwa homepage, which Tomoe-hakase has archived for me here. If you'd like to visit the shrine, please do, my grandfather has retired to help run a martial arts dojo in Nerima. So there will be no problems.

So some stories sprawl so significantly that simply sticking to a single canonical continuum is completely constricting, creating conditions ripe for revolutionary revisions to the holistic hierarchy of history itself. Such is the stimulus that spawned the Suburban Senshi Expanded Universe, which I, Sakura Xadium Aino, am part and parcel of! Take a trip into the tantalizing tangle of tales told beyond a town in Tokyo-- twisting and turning through Time and Space, constantly collaborated on by our community of valued visitors!

Please allow me to introduce myself. I'm Jay Daito. I am a man of wealth and taste who has been around for a long, long year and, thanks to the financial sway of my Dark Intellectual Property Management Shell Corporation in the Cayman Islands, I have managed to achieve the long-desired, passionate merger of the venerable Sailor Moon Forums with the Suburban Senshi forums, thus bringing me closer to my goal of world domination happiness and joy for all mankind. Please feel free to click below and partake of the forums, but be warned, I am the only one permitted to Troll the premises~

The sheer amount of data that can be collected on a person in his day and age is truly, astoundingly magnificent, and thanks to the power of Mizunomics Quantum-scale computing and Haruka-san's abysmal security practices, I have been able to amass portfolios on so many people, places and things it's astonishing! Science is truly the god of mankind, and I am deeply in love with its tender intellectual embrace. You may access my data below.

Over the years there have been a lot of subsites and one-off bits of content created by the people of Ten'Aino house, and it's very hard to surface all of that material, so I've taken it upon myself to gather as much of it as I could into one place, which you can access by clicking below:

sew sum ov da odar ppl hear hav hoamepagez (i dew tew) bat lik whos gat tym 2 updat dam anymoar, i'm gona lank dam haer becaz da intarn akszed mi tew an shiz nyce 2 mi bat seriazsli fak des gais dey mkak fan of mai spellang ean tho i em fram da futar an laguaige evalves an diz iz hoe wi all typ gaddmmit

Knight Rider, September 24th
February 11th 2018
Ten'ou Haruka

This is why we can't come back to Japan, dears.
February 11th 2018
Kaioh Michiru

Meditations on Stress
February 11th 2018
Tomoe Hotaru

tits tuuf bang a jok
February 11th 2018
Tsukino Chibiusa

May 29th 2018
Souichi Tomoe

Where's the anti-Grimdark Mahjou Shoujo of today?
May 29th 2018
Aino Minako

RIP Charlton Heston
May 29th 2018

Something wonderful happened to me in Paris two...
February 11th 2018
Hino Rei

You can Shut up now.
February 11th 2018

February 11th 2018

I feel... strange.
February 11th 2018
Furuhata Motoki

Check hotmail in Thunderbird
February 11th 2018
Karasuma Akane

It's got a rude Domain name but...
February 11th 2018
Aya Reiko

TNG Rap (Explicit Lyrics yo)
February 11th 2018
Rev. H. Elios

February 11th 2018
Gemini Sunrise / Dr. X

Linked here are sites that we find hilarious, informative or both.

As CEO of Ginga Media Enterprises and a super-famous Crime Fighting Idol, no one knows better than me how important Social Media is to getting your message out there! Here are the different sites we post to, (but mostly they just link to what we do here ^^;;;) Still subscribing is a good way to keep up with updates when we aren't being lazy!!