Suburban Senshi Chat #1680 - “The (really) Long Goodbye ”

“The (really) Long Goodbye ”

Suburban Senshi IRC Chat

[06:53] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> So I finally got a letter from Reika
[06:53] <@SpeedRcrX> Reika Nishimura?
[06:53] <// J_Daito //> LOL the one who left you for F[BLEEP]king Austria XD
[06:53] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> yes, "lol" :P
[06:54] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> It was an old letter that took like 2 years to get here
[06:54] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> F[BLEEP]king austrian post
[06:54] <// J_Daito //> The name of that town just slays me
[06:54] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> You're not helping, Jed
[06:54] <// J_Daito //> I'm not a helper :3
[06:55] <@SpeedRcrX> So what's up, Mo
[06:55] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Reading it over I just...
[06:55] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I dunno
[06:55] * Crwn_FruT_Gamer sighs
[06:55] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> How do you move on from something like that
[06:56] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> your fiancee just deciding one day well "We're different, it's done" and walking off without even trying to fix things?
[06:56] <@SpeedRcrX> There's plenty of fish in the sea
[06:56] <@SpeedRcrX> (and oh god I shouldn't be making animal-related metaphors to you, should I)
[06:56] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> F[BLEEP]k you I'm on the 12 step
[06:57] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I can handle it
[06:57] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> But that's not the point
[06:57] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I mean I gave her years of my life, and for a while everything was perfect. We clicked, we finished each other's sentences, we were meant for each other.
[06:59] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> And I loved her with all my heart from day one until the day she formally decided Hans from Austria was more her thing
[07:00] <@SpeedRcrX> People change, man
[07:00] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Well that's what I understand, now
[07:00] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> but my fear is this
[07:00] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I gave all my heart, everything I had
[07:00] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> And it wasn't enough
[07:00] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> She didn't even bother to try fixing things, not really
[07:01] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> she just moved right on ahead
[07:01] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Which is fine, you gotta follow your heart, right?
[07:01] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Except, that means that hearts change really fast
[07:01] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> It means that all those years I spent with her counted for nothing in the face of someone new
[07:02] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> That I wasn't worth spending the time on
[07:02] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> So, knowing all that, how can I open up to someone else?
[07:02] <// J_Daito //> I thought you were trying with jugs no senshi
[07:02] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Makoto :P
[07:03] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> And she wasn't happy about my furpals
[07:03] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> But I didn't fight too hard to keep her
[07:03] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Because...
[07:03] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Reika and what she did to me was always in the back of my head
[07:03] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I mean people like Minako-san always go on about the power of true love and all that
[07:03] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> but
[07:04] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I *felt* that love and had it just thrown away
[07:04] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> if someone who I cared about (and who I *think* had cared about me at one point) could just do that after so much time, after so much sacrifice on my part
[07:04] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Then... what's to stop it from happening again?
[07:05] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> What guarantee do I have that if I give it all up again, give myself over to someone again, that they won't get bored with me after a while and just find someone new?
[07:05] <// J_Daito //> The answer is simple, my friend
[07:05] <// J_Daito //> hypnosis
[07:06] <// J_Daito //> or, alternatively, don't be boring
[07:06] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Sorry for wanting to be MYSELF.
[07:06] <// J_Daito //> Face it, yourself must suck
[07:06] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Look I'm not a jerk
[07:06] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I'm not Mr. Suave wonderful either
[07:07] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I'm just a person trying to survive in this stressful world
[07:07] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> And I just don't
[07:07] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I just can't understand
[07:07] <@SpeedRcrX> Look, obviously you two weren't meant to ne
[07:07] <@SpeedRcrX> ^be
[07:08] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> But... how could everything that was so right in the beginning go so wrong?
[07:08] <@SpeedRcrX> Welcome to life, population sucksville.
[07:08] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I mean was I just a s[BLEEP]tty judge of character?
[07:08] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Did I just not try hard enough?
[07:08] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> What more could I have done?
[07:09] <@SpeedRcrX> Man
[07:09] <@SpeedRcrX> Sometimes s[BLEEP]t just happens
[07:09] <@SpeedRcrX> it's the unfortunate nature of life
[07:09] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I'm OLD Haruka
[07:10] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Yeah, and you're married.
[07:10] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Your one-and-only, the one you fell in love with in, she stuck with you.
[07:11] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> She didn't run off with someone else, joyfully jetting off to Austria every few months when coming down to my place in the same town was too much of a burden
[07:11] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> You didn't get left behind
[07:11] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I'm old and I can't take that a second time
[07:11] <@SpeedRcrX> Well son there's no guarantees
[07:12] <@SpeedRcrX> What's that famous saying?
[07:13] <@SpeedRcrX> "Hell is other people" I think
[07:13] <@SpeedRcrX> If you don't risk, you'll never get anything
[07:13] <@SpeedRcrX> You risked once, you gave it your all, and you failed
[07:13] <@SpeedRcrX> You were shot in the heart and left to die bleeding on the streets of love
[07:13] <@SpeedRcrX> We get it.
[07:14] <@SpeedRcrX> But you SURVIVED that s[BLEEP]t.
[07:14] <@SpeedRcrX> You survived and you're still here.
[07:14] <@SpeedRcrX> You have a choice now
[07:14] <@SpeedRcrX> You can either choose to never trust anyone again, EVER
[07:14] <@SpeedRcrX> which, honestly, with what happened to you, I can see why you might
[07:14] <@SpeedRcrX> or you can judge a person on their own merits
[07:15] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> But
[07:15] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> The LAST time I judged on their own merits
[07:15] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> and then they changed on me, became someone totally different
[07:15] * @SpeedRcrX shrugs
[07:15] <@SpeedRcrX> I can't give you some zen koan answer here
[07:15] <// J_Daito //> I can
[07:15] <// J_Daito //> HYPNOSIS
[07:15] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> F[BLEEP]k off, Jedite :P
[07:16] * // J_Daito // is away: hmph weak
[07:16] <@SpeedRcrX> Well you know, from what you said, there was problems showing up early on
[07:16] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I let those go, I figured it would pass
[07:17] <@SpeedRcrX> Well it didn't
[07:17] <@SpeedRcrX> Next time, don't be so passive
[07:17] <@SpeedRcrX> If there are issues get them dealt with
[07:17] <@SpeedRcrX> You let s[BLEEP]t pass that was an indication of trouble to come
[07:18] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Well because I hoped everything would work out
[07:18] <@SpeedRcrX> Well it didn't, did it?
[07:18] <@SpeedRcrX> Reika was running off all the time and you didn't ask her to stay, or anything
[07:18] <@SpeedRcrX> You made it simple for her to just put you aside
[07:19] <@SpeedRcrX> Because she'd be right in thinking "Oh, he doesn't mind, it's okay."
[07:19] <@SpeedRcrX> Next time, if there are expectations you have, like wanting to be spent time with, you need to make that clear
[07:19] <@SpeedRcrX> and if the other person doesn't want to accommodate
[07:19] <@SpeedRcrX> then you know that you're not high up on the priorities list
[07:20] <@SpeedRcrX> and that's a sign to move on
[07:20] <@SpeedRcrX> YOU having lots of love is not enough
[07:20] <@SpeedRcrX> you can't carry the load for two people.
[07:20] <@SpeedRcrX> There has to be give and take
[07:20] * Crwn_FruT_Gamer nods
[07:21] * @SpeedRcrX is away: If you're giving all the time and nothing is coming back... you have only yourself to blame when you get left hanging
[07:21] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> But how do I
[07:21] * Crwn_FruT_Gamer sighs
[07:21] *** Crwn_FruT_Gamer [] has left #suburbansenshi (I dunno what to do anymore)

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