Suburban Senshi Chat #1680 - “The (really) Long Goodbye ”
“The (really) Long Goodbye ”
[06:53] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> So I finally got a letter from Reika
[06:53] <@SpeedRcrX> Reika Nishimura?
[06:53] <// J_Daito //> LOL the one who left you for F[BLEEP]king Austria XD
[06:53] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> yes, "lol" :P
[06:54] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> It was an old letter that took like 2 years to get here
[06:54] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> F[BLEEP]king austrian post
[06:54] <// J_Daito //> The name of that town just slays me
[06:54] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> You're not helping, Jed
[06:54] <// J_Daito //> I'm not a helper :3
[06:55] <@SpeedRcrX> So what's up, Mo
[06:55] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Reading it over I just...
[06:55] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I dunno
[06:55] * Crwn_FruT_Gamer sighs
[06:55] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> How do you move on from something like that
[06:56] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> your fiancee just deciding one day well "We're different, it's done" and walking off without even trying to fix things?
[06:56] <@SpeedRcrX> There's plenty of fish in the sea
[06:56] <@SpeedRcrX> (and oh god I shouldn't be making animal-related metaphors to you, should I)
[06:56] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> F[BLEEP]k you I'm on the 12 step
[06:57] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I can handle it
[06:57] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> But that's not the point
[06:57] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I mean I gave her years of my life, and for a while everything was perfect. We clicked, we finished each other's sentences, we were meant for each other.
[06:59] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> And I loved her with all my heart from day one until the day she formally decided Hans from Austria was more her thing
[07:00] <@SpeedRcrX> People change, man
[07:00] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Well that's what I understand, now
[07:00] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> but my fear is this
[07:00] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I gave all my heart, everything I had
[07:00] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> And it wasn't enough
[07:00] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> She didn't even bother to try fixing things, not really
[07:01] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> she just moved right on ahead
[07:01] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Which is fine, you gotta follow your heart, right?
[07:01] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Except, that means that hearts change really fast
[07:01] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> It means that all those years I spent with her counted for nothing in the face of someone new
[07:02] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> That I wasn't worth spending the time on
[07:02] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> So, knowing all that, how can I open up to someone else?
[07:02] <// J_Daito //> I thought you were trying with jugs no senshi
[07:02] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Makoto :P
[07:03] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> And she wasn't happy about my furpals
[07:03] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> But I didn't fight too hard to keep her
[07:03] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Because...
[07:03] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Reika and what she did to me was always in the back of my head
[07:03] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I mean people like Minako-san always go on about the power of true love and all that
[07:03] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> but
[07:04] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I *felt* that love and had it just thrown away
[07:04] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> if someone who I cared about (and who I *think* had cared about me at one point) could just do that after so much time, after so much sacrifice on my part
[07:04] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Then... what's to stop it from happening again?
[07:05] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> What guarantee do I have that if I give it all up again, give myself over to someone again, that they won't get bored with me after a while and just find someone new?
[07:05] <// J_Daito //> The answer is simple, my friend
[07:05] <// J_Daito //> hypnosis
[07:06] <// J_Daito //> or, alternatively, don't be boring
[07:06] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Sorry for wanting to be MYSELF.
[07:06] <// J_Daito //> Face it, yourself must suck
[07:06] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Look I'm not a jerk
[07:06] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I'm not Mr. Suave wonderful either
[07:07] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I'm just a person trying to survive in this stressful world
[07:07] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> And I just don't
[07:07] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I just can't understand
[07:07] <@SpeedRcrX> Look, obviously you two weren't meant to ne
[07:07] <@SpeedRcrX> ^be
[07:08] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> But... how could everything that was so right in the beginning go so wrong?
[07:08] <@SpeedRcrX> Welcome to life, population sucksville.
[07:08] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I mean was I just a s[BLEEP]tty judge of character?
[07:08] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Did I just not try hard enough?
[07:08] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> What more could I have done?
[07:09] <@SpeedRcrX> Man
[07:09] <@SpeedRcrX> Sometimes s[BLEEP]t just happens
[07:09] <@SpeedRcrX> it's the unfortunate nature of life
[07:09] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I'm OLD Haruka
[07:09] <@SpeedRcrX> F[BLEEP]K YOU WE'RE THE SAME AGE
[07:10] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Yeah, and you're married.
[07:10] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Your one-and-only, the one you fell in love with in, she stuck with you.
[07:11] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> She didn't run off with someone else, joyfully jetting off to Austria every few months when coming down to my place in the same town was too much of a burden
[07:11] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> You didn't get left behind
[07:11] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I'm old and I can't take that a second time
[07:11] <@SpeedRcrX> Well son there's no guarantees
[07:12] <@SpeedRcrX> What's that famous saying?
[07:13] <@SpeedRcrX> "Hell is other people" I think
[07:13] <@SpeedRcrX> If you don't risk, you'll never get anything
[07:13] <@SpeedRcrX> You risked once, you gave it your all, and you failed
[07:13] <@SpeedRcrX> You were shot in the heart and left to die bleeding on the streets of love
[07:13] <@SpeedRcrX> We get it.
[07:14] <@SpeedRcrX> But you SURVIVED that s[BLEEP]t.
[07:14] <@SpeedRcrX> You survived and you're still here.
[07:14] <@SpeedRcrX> You have a choice now
[07:14] <@SpeedRcrX> You can either choose to never trust anyone again, EVER
[07:14] <@SpeedRcrX> which, honestly, with what happened to you, I can see why you might
[07:14] <@SpeedRcrX> or you can judge a person on their own merits
[07:15] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> But
[07:15] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> The LAST time I judged on their own merits
[07:15] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> and then they changed on me, became someone totally different
[07:15] * @SpeedRcrX shrugs
[07:15] <@SpeedRcrX> I can't give you some zen koan answer here
[07:15] <// J_Daito //> I can
[07:15] <// J_Daito //> HYPNOSIS
[07:15] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> F[BLEEP]k off, Jedite :P
[07:16] * // J_Daito // is away: hmph weak
[07:16] <@SpeedRcrX> Well you know, from what you said, there was problems showing up early on
[07:16] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I let those go, I figured it would pass
[07:17] <@SpeedRcrX> Well it didn't
[07:17] <@SpeedRcrX> Next time, don't be so passive
[07:17] <@SpeedRcrX> If there are issues get them dealt with
[07:17] <@SpeedRcrX> You let s[BLEEP]t pass that was an indication of trouble to come
[07:18] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Well because I hoped everything would work out
[07:18] <@SpeedRcrX> Well it didn't, did it?
[07:18] <@SpeedRcrX> Reika was running off all the time and you didn't ask her to stay, or anything
[07:18] <@SpeedRcrX> You made it simple for her to just put you aside
[07:19] <@SpeedRcrX> Because she'd be right in thinking "Oh, he doesn't mind, it's okay."
[07:19] <@SpeedRcrX> Next time, if there are expectations you have, like wanting to be spent time with, you need to make that clear
[07:19] <@SpeedRcrX> and if the other person doesn't want to accommodate
[07:19] <@SpeedRcrX> then you know that you're not high up on the priorities list
[07:20] <@SpeedRcrX> and that's a sign to move on
[07:20] <@SpeedRcrX> YOU having lots of love is not enough
[07:20] <@SpeedRcrX> you can't carry the load for two people.
[07:20] <@SpeedRcrX> There has to be give and take
[07:20] * Crwn_FruT_Gamer nods
[07:21] * @SpeedRcrX is away: If you're giving all the time and nothing is coming back... you have only yourself to blame when you get left hanging
[07:21] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> But how do I
[07:21] * Crwn_FruT_Gamer sighs
[07:21] *** Crwn_FruT_Gamer [wifi.mcdonalds.co.jp] has left #suburbansenshi (I dunno what to do anymore)
| June 7, 1999:
The Senshi were having a traumatic dream about the Silence, when Karaberas attacked using Mane Mane Girl, determined to kill Sailor Moon. As the Senshi were knocked out, Pegasus swooped in, mocking the girls' weakness in battle. Tuxedo Mask got offended that the villains were misusing roses. When all hope seemed lost, the Senshi got a break through a sudden turn towards and ethical lifestyle by the Villain. Sailor Moon used the Silver Moon Crystal Power Kiss attack to win.
<// J_Daito //> Friendship power! HAH! Sounds like some pyschosomatic BS the lunar cats would make up to send the Senshi into the heat of battle thinking they were invincible!
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