Suburban Senshi IRC Chat #1615 - “Healing the Heart”
#1615

“Healing the Heart”



[11:08] *** Thu May 20 2010 - LOGGING START ***
[11:08] *** Topic is - :( -
[12:57] *** Set by @spiritflame on Thu May 20 11:08 2010

[11:08] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> So then I told him to go date a flying creep!!
[11:08] *** Crwn_FruT_Gamer [wifi.mcdonalds.co.jp] has joined #suburbansenshi
[11:09] <FireFly_9> That's not how the saying goes, Sempai.
[11:23] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Minako-chan, can I talk to you?
[11:23] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> You're not going to breathe funny over the phone or talk to me about your turtle, are you :/
[11:23] *** FireFly_9 [ruin@ntt1.docomo.jp] has left #suburbansenshi (See you, Sempai)
[11:23] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> No :P
[11:25] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I just wanted to talk to you about something
[11:25] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> What??
[11:25] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> MAko-chan.
[11:25] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Oh
[11:25] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> This morning as I was walking to work, she just blew right by me on her bike without even saying hello.
[11:26] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Maybe she didn't see you, or was in a big rush??
[11:26] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Maybe.
[11:26] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> But it still kinda stung me.
[11:26] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Hit it home that it was finally done between us, that I don't even deserve the time of day from her anymore.
[11:26] * [gTV]C'est_la_V repeats what she just said
[11:28] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I know, I know
[11:28] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> But even if I keep giving the benefit of the doubt it still hurts.
[11:28] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Motoki-san...
[11:28] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> The engagement broke off months ago...
[11:28] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> she doesn't owe you anything anymore.
[11:29] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I know that!
[11:29] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> But what, we're not even friends anymore?!
[11:29] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I mean, it's like... I've been totally erased.
[11:29] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Moh, she probably didn't even see you.
[11:29] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> She rides fast.
[11:29] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> ><
[11:30] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Yeah but even other times she doesn't even talk to me anymore.
[11:30] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> You've been dumped a lot, Minako-chan
[11:30] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> ... thanks for that
[11:30] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Sorry
[11:30] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> but I mean
[11:30] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I just want to know how the hell you got over it
[11:30] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> got yourself someone
[11:32] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Because right now I find it so hard to trust anyone
[11:33] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I just feel like i'm going to get fooled again
[11:36] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> ... I don't think she ever fooled you
[11:36] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I'm just still so confused and hurt I don't even know what I'm thinking
[11:36] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Motoki-san.
[11:36] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> I've talked to her a bit
[11:37] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> She thought she saw something in you, but in the end there were just things she couldn't handle
[11:37] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> It's not that she hates you, but you just weren't the right one
[11:38] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> But I loved her so much, even if she mocked me all the time about my furpals
[11:38] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> It sounds like you weren't happy about that
[11:39] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Yeah but I was willing to take it because on balance it was such a small thing compared to all the good things about her.
[11:39] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Sounds like you were settling...
[11:39] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Sounds like I was compromising.
[11:39] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Good relationships are built on that.
[11:39] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Give and take, not "my way or the highway"
[11:40] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Look if Mako-chan wasn't willing to compromise then you're better off, no?
[11:40] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> You'd just be unhappy and so would she.
[11:54] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> But I loved her so much, I would have-- and did do everything I could for her.
[11:55] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> You have to let her go...
[11:55] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> It's hard but you have to accept that she doesn't love you anymore.
[11:55] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> That's what scares me
[11:55] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> That it's so easy for the other person to just turn away, turn off like that.
[11:56] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> If people can just do that...
[11:56] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Then what the hell is the point of trying?
[11:56] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I mean why bother, why not just stay alone?
[11:57] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Because you want to share your life with someone, to make them happy.
[11:57] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> She wasn't happy anymore.
[11:57] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> ><
[11:57] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> How did you survive being broke up with so many times?
[11:59] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> I won't lie... each time it made me cry so much, and curl up for days, not wanting to eat or do anything
[11:59] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> I wondered if there was something wrong with me
[11:59] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Why everyone hated me so much, or if I was just stupid for believing in love.
[11:59] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> That's how I feel
[12:07] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> I just made up my mind to keep trying, no matter what
[12:07] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Eventually I got lucky :)
[12:08] <// J_Daito //> IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE AMIRITE
[12:08] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Go away bakayaro!!
[12:08] * // J_Daito // is away: hahaha
[12:08] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> But I mean, to just be able to bounce back...
[12:08] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I almost feel guilty for trying again.
[12:08] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Why??
[12:09] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Because when I picked Mako-san, I really meant it when I said I just wanted her.
[12:09] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I gave my whole heart and soul totally.
[12:09] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I wasn't looking for some random date or hookup.
[12:09] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> If I have to start over now, it feels like I'm... whoring myself out in a way
[12:09] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Like "oh I said you were the one but now you're not let me go find another"
[12:39] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> But that's not how it is
[12:39] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> She left you, you didn't decide to run off
[12:39] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> you're free not by choice
[12:39] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> and if you don't want to be alone, then it's your right to look
[12:40] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Yeah.
[12:40] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> It still feels like I'm betraying, though, even though there's nothing left to betray.
[12:40] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Was there ever anything there?
[12:40] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> You have to believe there was...
[12:41] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> But if there was why was it so EASY for her to just throw me away?
[12:41] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Maybe it wasn't easy.
[12:41] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> You're only thinking it was because you only see the moment when the axe gets you
[12:41] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> but she might have been agonizing over it for a long time
[12:42] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Yeah well if that was the case she could have talked to me seriously and worked it out
[12:42] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I would have bent over backwards to fix whatever was wrong
[12:42] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> instead I got shut out and then shut down
[12:42] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> So for me, from my POV it was pretty easy
[12:42] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> Because she didn't even *try*
[12:43] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I did all the trying and now i'm the one doing all the crying
[12:43] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Moh.
[12:43] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> You know what helped me survive?
[12:43] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> My friends.
[12:44] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> When I was dumped, they were there for mew
[12:44] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> ^me
[12:45] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> They helped me laugh and smile again
[12:45] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> You have to look to what's still good in your life, and to the people who still care for you
[12:45] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> They'll be there
[12:54] * Crwn_FruT_Gamer nods
[12:55] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I just figured I'd be over it by now, it's been so long
[12:55] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Well you cared a lot, so...
[12:55] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> But you really have to do what I said and look to the future
[12:55] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> There's better things to come!!
[12:55] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> :D
[12:55] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I hope you're right, Minako-chan
[12:55] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> I am!!
[12:56] * [gTV]C'est_la_V gives you a thumbs up!!
[12:56] * Crwn_FruT_Gamer is away: thanks, you made me feel better :D
[12:56] * [gTV]C'est_la_V is away: that's what friends do!!
[12:56] *** Thu May 20 2010 - LOGGING STOP ***




 






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