[10:13] * [gTV]C'est_la_V bounces in happy-happy [10:13] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> wai! wai! i just bought a copy of the new transformers movie!!
[10:14] <@SpeedRcrX> What you mean the movie that promises to brutally sodomize my childhood memories?
[10:14] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> :P
[10:14] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> C'mon it might be fun to have a movie night :)
[10:15] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> We haven't done one in a long time :D
[10:15] * FireFly_9 looks at the disc that sempai bought [10:15] <FireFly_9> Uhh, Sempai...
[10:15] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Hai?
[10:16] <FireFly_9> You bought the wrong movie. This isn't the new Transformers film.
[10:17] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> It isn't?
[10:17] <FireFly_9> No.
[10:17] <FireFly_9> This is a film called "Transmorphers".
[10:17] <@SpeedRcrX> Trans... Morphers? AHAAHAHAHAHAHA
[10:18] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> ...
[10:18] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Moh...
[10:18] <@SpeedRcrX> LOL Cheap Korean knockoff movie hahahaha
[10:19] <FireFly_9> No, this seems to be an American productions.
[10:20] <FireFly_9> Here's the trailer:
[10:21] <@SpeedRcrX> AHAHAHAAHHA what the F[BLEEP]K? hahahahahahahahahaha
[10:21] <GERMATOID> I SMELL A MIST COMING! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
[10:22] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> :O
[10:22] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> I GOT RIPPED OFF ><
[10:23] <// J_Daito //> Heh your loss is our gain, Aino
[10:34] * FireFly_9 puts the DVD in the machine
[10:38] <@SpeedRcrX> So this is presented by the Asylum
[10:38] <FireFly_9> Surely this is a portent of things to come
[10:39] <@SpeedRcrX> This title sequence sounds like a lot of hydraulics and whirring and... and... TRANSFORMING
[10:39] <// J_Daito //> You mean Transmorphing, Ten'ou.
[10:40] <@SpeedRcrX> Yeah
[10:40] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> i want my money back [10:40] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> right now [10:40] <@SpeedRcrX> Hey man as long as it has hot robotic action it's all good, neko
[10:41] <FireFly_9> According to the narrator, intelligent life was detected 20 million light years away, and we sent them a message of peace.
[10:43] <GERMATOID> SO IN RETURN THEY SENT US HUNDREDS OF BUCKY BALLS! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH1
[10:43] <=^catablanca^=> It looks like the earth is hurling chunks
[10:44] <IrnChef_Jovian> Or like sweat is flying off its face after taking a punch to the face by sly stallone
[10:44] * @SpeedRcrX kust looks at Mako [10:44] * IrnChef_Jovian watched too much Spike TV this weekend okay
[10:46] <Mizunomics01> So these balls turn out to be robots who have taken over the world and cast it into eternal night.
[10:46] <FireFly_9> Rather like the Matrix.
[10:46] <GERMATOID> WHY TO THE ROBOTS LOOK LIKE VORLONS IN POWER ARMOR
[10:47] <@SpeedRcrX> So like when do I get to see one turn into a boombox or something/
[10:47] <@SpeedRcrX> Laserbeak, COME FORTH!
[10:48] <FireFly_9> Is this from the Opening of HBO's Rome
[10:48] <Mizunomics01> Someone get Gil Grissom.
[10:48] <// J_Daito //> The dead skull symbolizes the total ruin of humanity, which, for budgetary reasons, cannot be displayed here.
[10:49] <@SpeedRcrX> Alas, poor Warrick, I knew him, Horatio...
[10:51] <FireFly_9> So the robots have decimated humanity... yet they have massive, gleaming cities in the underworld.
[10:52] <@SpeedRcrX> But do they have flying cars?
[10:52] <@SpeedRcrX> gleaming utopia is useless without flying cars
[10:53] <// J_Daito //> Perhaps this sity transforms like Metroplex into a giant robot
[10:53] <Mizunomics01> Or perhaps the city is just a quick one off CG matte painting used to make things look more expensive than they actually are
[10:54] <@SpeedRcrX> Whao it's a dude in black leather and sunglasses, looking at a screen in some grungy-ass loft
[10:54] <FireFly_9> I don't think that's a loft, Haruka-poppa.
[10:55] <@SpeedRcrX> What else could it be, it looks like s[BLEEP]t
[10:55] <@SpeedRcrX> It certainly doesn't look like the gleaming city we saw just now for all of like 5 seconds
[10:56] <Mizunomics01> Given the way everyone's frantically barking orders and looking offscreen at something we can't see-- it MUST be a high tech command center.
[10:57] <@SpeedRcrX> Is this the future of humanity
[10:57] <// J_Daito //> Is it Queen Metallia, is it the sauce.
[10:57] <GERMATOID> NICE TO SEE FASHION SENSIBILITIES EVOLVED IN A HUNDRED YEARS
[10:58] <@SpeedRcrX> OH NO according to screaming man the robots have crossed the green line!
[10:59] <IrnChef_Jovian> Whatever that means, it's not like we can see it on screen or anything
[10:59] <@SpeedRcrX> he wants to contact a general von reizenberg or some s[BLEEP]t
[11:01] <FireFly_9> "tell him they've crossed the line'
[11:01] <// J_Daito //> h they've crossed a line, all right
[11:02] <IrnChef_Jovian> So they go to see "Mr. Chairman" who looks like a woman D:
[11:03] <GERMATOID> OBVIOUSLY GENDER'S BECOME A LOT MORE FLEXIBLE IN 100 YEARS
[21:10] <@SpeedRcrX> So the Chairman decides that now, after 100 years it's time to fight
[21:10] <@SpeedRcrX> and they're going to steal the fuel cell from one of the invading robots and put a virus in it and contaminate the rest
[21:11] <@SpeedRcrX> to do this, they deploy...
[21:11] <@SpeedRcrX> ...The Space Marine ripoffs from hell
[21:11] <// J_Daito //> complete with steel reinforced penis subsitutes big ass guns
[21:12] <GERMATOID> THIS IS A BUG BOT HUNT, YO! ROCK AND LOAD!
[21:12] <FireFly_9> Why do I have a bad feeling the ripoffs have just begun.
[21:13] <// J_Daito //> .. is it me or are they using synth drum bass hits to stand in for the "thump" of advancing robots outside
[21:13] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> i want my money back [21:13] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> kami-sama are you listening
[21:14] <flame_SNIPER> With the power of this inverted pie-plate, they can surely bring the robots to their knees.
[21:14] <GERMATOID> JUST PLAY ALONG AND PRETEND IT'S A GIANT ELECTROMAGNET
[21:15] <// J_Daito //> I saw cars with hubcaps like that in the 50's
[21:16] <FireFly_9> Oh look, it's the crew of the Nebuchadnezzar out to save us all.
[21:16] <@SpeedRcrX> TOKEN GOTH WANNABE SIGHTED AT THE PERISCOPE SIRRAH
[21:16] <flame_SNIPER> Hot Topic must have invested a lot onto this movie.
[21:17] <// J_Daito //> "Goths with guns" is that what this is.
[21:17] <GERMATOID> NO THESE ARE THE SPACE MARINE RIPOFFS
[21:17] <GERMATOID> I'M SURPRISED THEY DONTT' HAVE A BEEPING ROBOT DETECTOR
[21:18] <Mizunomics01> Nice to see urban graffiti hasn't changed in 100 years.
[21:18] <FireFly_9> you know, for a movie about a war with giant robots, except for the very brief shot we saw before, it's been about 20 minutes, and I haven't seen one again.
[21:19] <@SpeedRcrX> Well they're transmorphers right, so maybe the walls will do something cool and turn into one.
[21:19] <// J_Daito //> 100 years of advancement and this is the best scanner they could come up with
[21:19] <flame_SNIPER> It looks like an archery target
[21:20] <@SpeedRcrX> Or a gun target perforated by a REALLY bad shot who aims left
[21:20] <flame_SNIPER> You mean like when you go to the urinal, Haruka-san...
[21:20] <@SpeedRcrX> ya
[21:20] <IrnChef_Jovian> YES A GIANT ROBOT!
[21:26] <IrnChef_Jovian> hey why is it moving out of shot
[21:26] <IrnChef_Jovian> hey why are we only seeing the people running away from blasts
[21:26] <IrnChef_Jovian> why are we just hearing the robot
[21:26] <IrnChef_Jovian> NO NO DON'T SPAZZ AND RUN AWAY SHOW ME MORE OF THE ROBOT
[21:27] <@SpeedRcrX> So here we are, ripping off Demolition man as they un-cryofreeze the One Bad Dude™ who can Rage Against the Machine and Rage at the Dying of the Light.
[21:28] <flame_SNIPER> He looks like an emo zordon.
[21:28] <@SpeedRcrX> LOL @ the Elite psycho goth command unit
[21:29] <flame_SNIPER> Seeing that one all hot for the Psycho leader™ is scary.
[21:29] <@SpeedRcrX> AND LOL there's lesbians there.
[21:29] <@SpeedRcrX> This can only end well.
[21:29] <IrnChef_Jovian> what do Lesbians have to do with giant robots D:
[21:30] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> where the hell is my money
[21:30] <// J_Daito //> Witness their head "Scientist" and scantily clad female assistant
[21:30] <@SpeedRcrX> She sags more than Michiru
[21:31] <Mdm_Maestro> HARUKA
[21:31] <@SpeedRcrX> <_<
[21:31] <@SpeedRcrX> O SHI CATFIGHT CATFIGHT
[21:32] <FireFly_9> You know, we have yet to see the roborts again, so far this whole movie has been a lot of talking heads in closed claustrophobic sets wearing grunge / goth clothing.
[21:32] <@SpeedRcrX> WHO CARES, CATFIGHT!
[21:32] <@SpeedRcrX> CATFIGHT
[21:32] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> where the hell is the transforming
[21:32] <@SpeedRcrX> RIGHT HERE IT TRANSFORMED INTO HOT AND SEXAH
[21:33] <IrnChef_Jovian> Umm, they're pretty skanky.
[21:33] <@SpeedRcrX> FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
[21:34] <Mizunomics01> Years ago, I never would have imagined that Haruka-san would be so enamored of skimpily clad girl soldier catfights.
[21:34] <@SpeedRcrX> LOL and the saggy chick in the bad wig is actually an ANDROID
[21:34] <IrnChef_Jovian> So the robots show up again
[21:35] <IrnChef_Jovian> and they're firing laser beams.
[21:35] <IrnChef_Jovian> and the soldiers are firing back. Right now.
[21:35] <IrnChef_Jovian> But you can't see the beams.
[21:35] <GERMATOID> THE ORDINANCE IS ALL IN THEIR MINDS!
[21:36] <flame_SNIPER> They're still firing, even in this shot. You can't see the robots anymore.
[21:37] <IrnChef_Jovian> STOP TALKING TO EACH OTEHR AND PRETEND-FIRING AT ROBOTS WE CAN'T SEE
[21:37] <Mizunomics01> No wonder the humans lost the war.
[21:37] <@SpeedRcrX> and so the robot transforms...
[21:37] <GERMATOID> TRANSMORPHS
[21:37] <@SpeedRcrX> ...transmorphs...
[21:38] <FireFly_9> ... into a giant Penis.
[21:39] <Mizunomics01> So... are the testicles behind it, or hanging down...?
[21:39] <flame_SNIPER> Only Ami-chan would care about that
[21:39] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> dammit i want my f[BLEEP]king money back
[21:40] <@SpeedRcrX> Marvel at the s[BLEEP]t-ass rotoscoping effects from 1995.
[21:40] <@SpeedRcrX> this is like the Anti-Bay transforming robot movie. No robots and like 2 moving parts.
[21:41] <IrnChef_Jovian> that guy flying on the right was in the SAME pose when he was standing on the roof and when he was blown off it... in a STRAIGHT LINE.
[21:41] <GERMATOID> ... OOH THEY CAUGHT ONE AND ARE GOING TO DO ALIEN AUTOPSY ON IT TO HACK THE FUEL CELL!
[21:41] <@SpeedRcrX> s[BLEEP]t i dunno what's worse the surgery or the acting.
[21:42] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> T_________________________________________T
[21:42] <IrnChef_Jovian> It's dead... like this movie.
[21:43] <@SpeedRcrX> NO WAIT FOR THERE IS ANOTHER ROBOT WE CAN USE
[21:43] <@SpeedRcrX> AND HE WAS THE PSYCHO LEADER GUY ALL ALONG
[21:43] <Mizunomics01> As demonstrated by this film cutout of a highly magnified circuit board clumsily overlaid between his nipples.
[21:43] <// J_Daito //> I'm confused
[21:44] <// J_Daito //> Are we ripping off AI or Terminator or Star Trek TNG here
[21:44] <@SpeedRcrX> F[BLEEP]k go for it ALL
[21:45] <GERMATOID> AND SO THE HOT TOPIC SOLDIERETTES DO HEROIC BATTLE TO ALLOW MR. DATA TIME TO HACK THE GIBSON?
[21:45] <IrnChef_Jovian> fighting Robots we CAN'T EVEN SEE
[21:45] * [gTV]C'est_la_V sees her empty purse and cries
[21:46] <@SpeedRcrX> LOL now he's going to merge with V'GR the one computer that controls ALL the robots and tell them to shut off
[21:46] <flame_SNIPER> I'd like to think he's grimacing because he realizes just how bad this film really is
[21:47] <@SpeedRcrX> and the robots stop moving without even a cool explosion, our hero keels over and dies, seeing the sky. The End.
[21:47] <FireFly_9> I wish I could say Haruka-poppa was compressing things, but the denoument was just that fast.
[21:47] * [gTV]C'est_la_V has SEEN THE LIGHT [21:47] * [gTV]C'est_la_V will NEVER BUY JUNK FROM "THE ASYLUM" AGAIN [21:48] <@SpeedRcrX> LOL this is what you get for trying to get botoleg Michael Bay s[BLEEP]t Neko
[21:49] <@spiritflame> the scowling man growls / a completely worthless film / minako enraged
[21:49] <@SpeedRcrX> And we're out. Thank GOD