Suburban Senshi IRC Chat #1191: “MiST - Transmorphers”
#1191: “MiST - Transmorphers”

MiST: Transmorphers: Less than Meets the Eye

[10:13] * [gTV]C'est_la_V bounces in happy-happy
[10:13] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> wai! wai! i just bought a copy of the new transformers movie!!
[10:14] <@SpeedRcrX> What you mean the movie that promises to brutally sodomize my childhood memories?
[10:14] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> :P
[10:14] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> C'mon it might be fun to have a movie night :)
[10:15] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> We haven't done one in a long time :D
[10:15] * FireFly_9 looks at the disc that sempai bought
[10:15] <FireFly_9> Uhh, Sempai...
[10:15] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Hai?
[10:16] <FireFly_9> You bought the wrong movie. This isn't the new Transformers film.
[10:17] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> It isn't?
[10:17] <FireFly_9> No.
[10:17] <FireFly_9> This is a film called "Transmorphers".
[10:17] <@SpeedRcrX> Trans... Morphers? AHAAHAHAHAHAHA
[10:18] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> ...
[10:18] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Moh...
[10:18] <@SpeedRcrX> LOL Cheap Korean knockoff movie hahahaha
[10:19] <FireFly_9> No, this seems to be an American productions.
[10:20] <FireFly_9> Here's the trailer:





[10:21] <@SpeedRcrX> AHAHAHAAHHA what the F[BLEEP]K? hahahahahahahahahaha
[10:21] <GERMATOID> I SMELL A MIST COMING! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
[10:22] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> :O
[10:22] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> I GOT RIPPED OFF ><
[10:23] <// J_Daito //> Heh your loss is our gain, Aino
[10:34] * FireFly_9 puts the DVD in the machine

[10:38] <@SpeedRcrX> So this is presented by the Asylum
[10:38] <FireFly_9> Surely this is a portent of things to come
[10:39] <@SpeedRcrX> This title sequence sounds like a lot of hydraulics and whirring and... and... TRANSFORMING

[10:39] <// J_Daito //> You mean Transmorphing, Ten'ou.
[10:40] <@SpeedRcrX> Yeah
[10:40] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> i want my money back
[10:40] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> right now
[10:40] <@SpeedRcrX> Hey man as long as it has hot robotic action it's all good, neko
[10:41] <FireFly_9> According to the narrator, intelligent life was detected 20 million light years away, and we sent them a message of peace.

[10:43] <GERMATOID> SO IN RETURN THEY SENT US HUNDREDS OF BUCKY BALLS! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH1
[10:43] <=^catablanca^=> It looks like the earth is hurling chunks
[10:44] <IrnChef_Jovian> Or like sweat is flying off its face after taking a punch to the face by sly stallone
[10:44] * @SpeedRcrX kust looks at Mako
[10:44] * IrnChef_Jovian watched too much Spike TV this weekend okay

[10:46] <Mizunomics01> So these balls turn out to be robots who have taken over the world and cast it into eternal night.
[10:46] <FireFly_9> Rather like the Matrix.
[10:46] <GERMATOID> WHY TO THE ROBOTS LOOK LIKE VORLONS IN POWER ARMOR
[10:47] <@SpeedRcrX> So like when do I get to see one turn into a boombox or something/
[10:47] <@SpeedRcrX> Laserbeak, COME FORTH!

[10:48] <FireFly_9> Is this from the Opening of HBO's Rome
[10:48] <Mizunomics01> Someone get Gil Grissom.
[10:48] <// J_Daito //> The dead skull symbolizes the total ruin of humanity, which, for budgetary reasons, cannot be displayed here.
[10:49] <@SpeedRcrX> Alas, poor Warrick, I knew him, Horatio...

[10:51] <FireFly_9> So the robots have decimated humanity... yet they have massive, gleaming cities in the underworld.
[10:52] <@SpeedRcrX> But do they have flying cars?
[10:52] <@SpeedRcrX> gleaming utopia is useless without flying cars
[10:53] <// J_Daito //> Perhaps this sity transforms like Metroplex into a giant robot
[10:53] <Mizunomics01> Or perhaps the city is just a quick one off CG matte painting used to make things look more expensive than they actually are

[10:54] <@SpeedRcrX> Whao it's a dude in black leather and sunglasses, looking at a screen in some grungy-ass loft
[10:54] <FireFly_9> I don't think that's a loft, Haruka-poppa.
[10:55] <@SpeedRcrX> What else could it be, it looks like s[BLEEP]t
[10:55] <@SpeedRcrX> It certainly doesn't look like the gleaming city we saw just now for all of like 5 seconds

[10:56] <Mizunomics01> Given the way everyone's frantically barking orders and looking offscreen at something we can't see-- it MUST be a high tech command center.
[10:57] <@SpeedRcrX> Is this the future of humanity
[10:57] <// J_Daito //> Is it Queen Metallia, is it the sauce.
[10:57] <GERMATOID> NICE TO SEE FASHION SENSIBILITIES EVOLVED IN A HUNDRED YEARS
[10:58] <@SpeedRcrX> OH NO according to screaming man the robots have crossed the green line!
[10:59] <IrnChef_Jovian> Whatever that means, it's not like we can see it on screen or anything
[10:59] <@SpeedRcrX> he wants to contact a general von reizenberg or some s[BLEEP]t
[11:01] <FireFly_9> "tell him they've crossed the line'
[11:01] <// J_Daito //> h they've crossed a line, all right

[11:02] <IrnChef_Jovian> So they go to see "Mr. Chairman" who looks like a woman D:
[11:03] <GERMATOID> OBVIOUSLY GENDER'S BECOME A LOT MORE FLEXIBLE IN 100 YEARS
[21:10] <@SpeedRcrX> So the Chairman decides that now, after 100 years it's time to fight
[21:10] <@SpeedRcrX> and they're going to steal the fuel cell from one of the invading robots and put a virus in it and contaminate the rest
[21:11] <@SpeedRcrX> to do this, they deploy...

[21:11] <@SpeedRcrX> ...The Space Marine ripoffs from hell
[21:11] <// J_Daito //> complete with steel reinforced penis subsitutes big ass guns
[21:12] <GERMATOID> THIS IS A BUG BOT HUNT, YO! ROCK AND LOAD!
[21:12] <FireFly_9> Why do I have a bad feeling the ripoffs have just begun.
[21:13] <// J_Daito //> .. is it me or are they using synth drum bass hits to stand in for the "thump" of advancing robots outside
[21:13] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> i want my money back
[21:13] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> kami-sama are you listening

[21:14] <flame_SNIPER> With the power of this inverted pie-plate, they can surely bring the robots to their knees.
[21:14] <GERMATOID> JUST PLAY ALONG AND PRETEND IT'S A GIANT ELECTROMAGNET
[21:15] <// J_Daito //> I saw cars with hubcaps like that in the 50's

[21:16] <FireFly_9> Oh look, it's the crew of the Nebuchadnezzar out to save us all.
[21:16] <@SpeedRcrX> TOKEN GOTH WANNABE SIGHTED AT THE PERISCOPE SIRRAH
[21:16] <flame_SNIPER> Hot Topic must have invested a lot onto this movie.

[21:17] <// J_Daito //> "Goths with guns" is that what this is.
[21:17] <GERMATOID> NO THESE ARE THE SPACE MARINE RIPOFFS
[21:17] <GERMATOID> I'M SURPRISED THEY DONTT' HAVE A BEEPING ROBOT DETECTOR
[21:18] <Mizunomics01> Nice to see urban graffiti hasn't changed in 100 years.
[21:18] <FireFly_9> you know, for a movie about a war with giant robots, except for the very brief shot we saw before, it's been about 20 minutes, and I haven't seen one again.
[21:19] <@SpeedRcrX> Well they're transmorphers right, so maybe the walls will do something cool and turn into one.

[21:19] <// J_Daito //> 100 years of advancement and this is the best scanner they could come up with
[21:19] <flame_SNIPER> It looks like an archery target
[21:20] <@SpeedRcrX> Or a gun target perforated by a REALLY bad shot who aims left
[21:20] <flame_SNIPER> You mean like when you go to the urinal, Haruka-san...
[21:20] <@SpeedRcrX> ya

[21:20] <IrnChef_Jovian> YES A GIANT ROBOT!
[21:26] <IrnChef_Jovian> hey why is it moving out of shot
[21:26] <IrnChef_Jovian> hey why are we only seeing the people running away from blasts
[21:26] <IrnChef_Jovian> why are we just hearing the robot
[21:26] <IrnChef_Jovian> NO NO DON'T SPAZZ AND RUN AWAY SHOW ME MORE OF THE ROBOT

[21:27] <@SpeedRcrX> So here we are, ripping off Demolition man as they un-cryofreeze the One Bad Dude™ who can Rage Against the Machine and Rage at the Dying of the Light.
[21:28] <flame_SNIPER> He looks like an emo zordon.

[21:28] <@SpeedRcrX> LOL @ the Elite psycho goth command unit
[21:29] <flame_SNIPER> Seeing that one all hot for the Psycho leader™ is scary.
[21:29] <@SpeedRcrX> AND LOL there's lesbians there.
[21:29] <@SpeedRcrX> This can only end well.
[21:29] <IrnChef_Jovian> what do Lesbians have to do with giant robots D:
[21:30] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> where the hell is my money

[21:30] <// J_Daito //> Witness their head "Scientist" and scantily clad female assistant
[21:30] <@SpeedRcrX> She sags more than Michiru
[21:31] <Mdm_Maestro> HARUKA
[21:31] <@SpeedRcrX> <_<

[21:31] <@SpeedRcrX> O SHI CATFIGHT CATFIGHT
[21:32] <FireFly_9> You know, we have yet to see the roborts again, so far this whole movie has been a lot of talking heads in closed claustrophobic sets wearing grunge / goth clothing.
[21:32] <@SpeedRcrX> WHO CARES, CATFIGHT!
[21:32] <@SpeedRcrX> CATFIGHT
[21:32] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> where the hell is the transforming

[21:32] <@SpeedRcrX> RIGHT HERE IT TRANSFORMED INTO HOT AND SEXAH
[21:33] <IrnChef_Jovian> Umm, they're pretty skanky.
[21:33] <@SpeedRcrX> FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
[21:34] <Mizunomics01> Years ago, I never would have imagined that Haruka-san would be so enamored of skimpily clad girl soldier catfights.
[21:34] <@SpeedRcrX> LOL and the saggy chick in the bad wig is actually an ANDROID

[21:34] <IrnChef_Jovian> So the robots show up again
[21:35] <IrnChef_Jovian> and they're firing laser beams.
[21:35] <IrnChef_Jovian> and the soldiers are firing back. Right now.
[21:35] <IrnChef_Jovian> But you can't see the beams.
[21:35] <GERMATOID> THE ORDINANCE IS ALL IN THEIR MINDS!

[21:36] <flame_SNIPER> They're still firing, even in this shot. You can't see the robots anymore.
[21:37] <IrnChef_Jovian> STOP TALKING TO EACH OTEHR AND PRETEND-FIRING AT ROBOTS WE CAN'T SEE
[21:37] <Mizunomics01> No wonder the humans lost the war.

[21:37] <@SpeedRcrX> and so the robot transforms...
[21:37] <GERMATOID> TRANSMORPHS
[21:37] <@SpeedRcrX> ...transmorphs...
[21:38] <FireFly_9> ... into a giant Penis.
[21:39] <Mizunomics01> So... are the testicles behind it, or hanging down...?
[21:39] <flame_SNIPER> Only Ami-chan would care about that
[21:39] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> dammit i want my f[BLEEP]king money back

[21:40] <@SpeedRcrX> Marvel at the s[BLEEP]t-ass rotoscoping effects from 1995.
[21:40] <@SpeedRcrX> this is like the Anti-Bay transforming robot movie. No robots and like 2 moving parts.
[21:41] <IrnChef_Jovian> that guy flying on the right was in the SAME pose when he was standing on the roof and when he was blown off it... in a STRAIGHT LINE.

[21:41] <GERMATOID> ... OOH THEY CAUGHT ONE AND ARE GOING TO DO ALIEN AUTOPSY ON IT TO HACK THE FUEL CELL!
[21:41] <@SpeedRcrX> s[BLEEP]t i dunno what's worse the surgery or the acting.
[21:42] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> T_________________________________________T
[21:42] <IrnChef_Jovian> It's dead... like this movie.
[21:43] <@SpeedRcrX> NO WAIT FOR THERE IS ANOTHER ROBOT WE CAN USE

[21:43] <@SpeedRcrX> AND HE WAS THE PSYCHO LEADER GUY ALL ALONG
[21:43] <Mizunomics01> As demonstrated by this film cutout of a highly magnified circuit board clumsily overlaid between his nipples.
[21:43] <// J_Daito //> I'm confused
[21:44] <// J_Daito //> Are we ripping off AI or Terminator or Star Trek TNG here
[21:44] <@SpeedRcrX> F[BLEEP]k go for it ALL

[21:45] <GERMATOID> AND SO THE HOT TOPIC SOLDIERETTES DO HEROIC BATTLE TO ALLOW MR. DATA TIME TO HACK THE GIBSON?
[21:45] <IrnChef_Jovian> fighting Robots we CAN'T EVEN SEE
[21:45] * [gTV]C'est_la_V sees her empty purse and cries

[21:46] <@SpeedRcrX> LOL now he's going to merge with V'GR the one computer that controls ALL the robots and tell them to shut off
[21:46] <flame_SNIPER> I'd like to think he's grimacing because he realizes just how bad this film really is

[21:47] <@SpeedRcrX> and the robots stop moving without even a cool explosion, our hero keels over and dies, seeing the sky. The End.
[21:47] <FireFly_9> I wish I could say Haruka-poppa was compressing things, but the denoument was just that fast.
[21:47] * [gTV]C'est_la_V has SEEN THE LIGHT
[21:47] * [gTV]C'est_la_V will NEVER BUY JUNK FROM "THE ASYLUM" AGAIN
[21:48] <@SpeedRcrX> LOL this is what you get for trying to get botoleg Michael Bay s[BLEEP]t Neko

[21:49] <@spiritflame> the scowling man growls / a completely worthless film / minako enraged
[21:49] <@SpeedRcrX> And we're out. Thank GOD




 






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• 07/18/12 05:29pm

Another excellent example of "wannabe" natural talent overcoming budget shortfalls...the Star Wars Fan Film Festivals and all their featurettes that you can find at Atomfilms.com.

Take the Star Wars Gangsta Rap for instance. The folks who made that obviously didn't spend a quarter-million dollars on it. In fact, they spent less than $250 dollars on it. It's campy, a little cheesy, but you know what? IT'S GOOD! Surprisingly good! Many of those Star Wars fan films are surprisingly good despite their tongue-in-cheek nature. And most of them did their work using ad-hoc props, commercial animation programs on their home PC's, and *good*, original ideas.

They're a perfect example of how some of those so-called "wannabe filmmakers" may actually be better than some of those REAL directors out in Hollywood.

Solarchos [e-mail] • 07/10/07 09:23pm

>[21:11] ...The Space Marine ripoffs from hell.<

XD XD XD

Frankly, those guys looked about as competent as an under-equipped Imperial Guard regiment commanded by chimpanzees. Still, at least that atrocity of a movie gave us a much-appreciated MST!

As for you, Mr. Leigh Scott...I was a little impressed that he was quick to apologize for some of this movie's screw-ups, then he got pissy. The paragraph dedicated to illegal downloaders just seemed kinda pusillanimous to me. As for wannabe film-makers...hey! Don't knock them. Given the CGI animation stuff that's available now even "wannabes" can sometimes turn out some really surprising stuff. A perfect case in point would be "Star Wreck", that famous Finnish(?) Star Trek/Babylon 5 parody flick that had a whole lot of homemade CGI that came out pretty damn good all things considered. How much time did they have to make it all? What was their budget? What were their available resources? I don't know, but I wouldn't presume to call them "wannabe filmmakers".

For some reason, Leigh Scott's *deluded* ( not diluted )diatribe reminds me of Uwe Boll.

In closing...Transformers rules. Transmorphers is the kinda film that would sodomize someones childhood.

And we ALL KNOW that the Terminator series is the definitive LAST WORD in "apocalyptic robotic resistance" films.

Solarchos [e-mail] • 07/07/07 10:14pm

The following was posted, apparently by the movie's director, on the IMDB boards...


Ok

As some of you may know, I often like to jump on the boards and discuss the films with the fans, whether it be to defend a film or thank them for praise. There are far too many posts for me to respond to directly, so I thought I would simply make a few points, then never speak of these boards or this film again.

First off, I haven't seen the final film. From talking to the cast and crew in America (I am in Romania making a sci-fi channel original at the moment) the sound mix for the film is pretty atrocious. Furthermore, I understand that a lot of the film is out of sync. The Asylum works very quickly, often times there is less than three months from the time a film is green lit until it shows up on video store shelves. Given those parameters, I am not surprised that there are technical issues with the final product. This was a very ambitious film given the time frame and the budget. The sound guys over there do their best given their resources. However, sound is half of a movie. If the sound is truly as bad as I hear it is, it is no wonder that people think the movie is awful. How can you get into a film or judge an actor's performance when the sync is off by more than a second in some cases? This is unfortunate and in many ways unacceptable. As I said, I have yet to see the final product, but based on the hate mail here, I doubt it looks and sounds anything like the film I left before jumping on the next show.

Let me also reiterate the point that I, Leigh Scott, am not the Asylum. I do not title the films, schedule their release dates, or decide on their marketing campaigns. The film I made was based on an idea I had several years ago. If the Asylum saw fit to time it out to TRANSFORMERS, then so be it. I get paid the same if the film rents five times or five million times. Of course, I knew their intentions, but to imply that I personally am a rip off artist or profit from people's ignorance is misguided and just plain wrong.

As for the people who download this film illegally, there is no excuse for your behavior. Period. I wonder how justified and smug you will be when you receive the indictment from the justice department. I have personally forwarded the IP addresses of all of you proud downloaders to the state attorney general. Your opinions are not valid, not welcomed and should be disregarded. It is disrespectful and immoral. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

As for you foreign downloaders, I am not surprised that you did not like the film. The language barrier is a big deal. I just got finished working with a bunch of Romanian actors whose acting style is very different from their American counterparts. Plus, based on your postings here, your command of the English language is spotty at best. I am not surprised that you may miss a nuance or a good performance. Again, since the film has not yet been released overseas, screw off. You stole the film. You are a criminal and should be regarded as such. Your opinion is negated by your lack of moral compass.

As for you wannabe filmmakers who think you can do a better job, I guarantee that all of you high school students and wedding videographers who think you could make a better movie are diluted. There is no way that any of you, with your lack of experience, could make an even watchable film under the constraints that I had, let alone a good movie. Filmmaking is hard. Especially when you are given 12 days and well under a quarter million dollars to work with. Seriously. I hope that you have the chance one day to do it, so you can appreciate the hard work and true challenge that filmmaking really is. Sure, your DV film shot in your basement is praised by your classmates and your relatives, but try doing that with a crew, group of actors, producers, deadlines etc. You will fail. Let me know if you want to try. I will personally front the money to watch one of you fall on your faces. I've watched, at the Asylum, as men in the 40s and 50s with several films under their belts, crack under the pressure. To say that it can be done better is to demonstrate a lack of understanding of the filmmaking process.

As for the effects, they suck. Synapse FX bit off more than they could chew and disappointed all of us, mostly me. For an effects heavy film, it is very disappointing. The effects being bad has less to do with me or the Asylum trying to be cheap than the VFX company being in over their heads. Sure, there are some really talented and great guys working there (who I would hire in a second) but over all the company as a whole does not function properly.

Now, do I think this is a masterpiece? No. Do I think this is the greatest movie ever made? No. Do I think that this is the best I can do as a filmmaker? No. But, do I think this film is cool for what it is, made for under a quarter million dollars and in the tradition of films like STARSHIP TROOPERS and the 80s FLASH GORDON, yes. Do I think that the film would be ten times better with a competent sound mix? Yes.

If you are looking for a multi million dollar studio film, look elsewhere. This is a low budget, B movie made for the same amount of money as indie films and films made in people's basements. Within those parameters, it is a testament to the hard work and creativity of the people behind it. No, I'm not going to get a different job and work at Burger King. No, the actors in the film shouldn't move back to the midwest. Quite the opposite. The fact that the film has some redeeming qualities, is 90 minutes long, and holds your attention means that all involved have bright futures in the entertainment world. Direct your ire at the idiots who spend millions of dollars and spend years making films that are marginally better. That is the true waste of time and talent.


Sincerely,

Leigh Scott

PS. Stop with the superlative "Worst Movie Ever" crap. It's not, far from it.

dooky • 07/07/07 09:25pm

It's not that bad of a purchase...it did give us a MiST and those are always awesome.

D-Train [e-mail] • 07/07/07 06:16pm

That'll teach Minako to buy from some third-rate dealer. However, most bootlegs are good.
Maybe I should see this after the awesome that was the real Transformers (Micheal Bay).

TuxRainbow [e-mail] • 07/07/07 03:24am

D:

...

:|

Souldier: • 07/07/07 02:47am

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHA
Aha
Ah.
Now I have to watch it. Where's that shit on my hard drive.

Shaldra Darkness [e-mail] • 07/07/07 02:43am



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