Suburban Senshi IRC Chat #1139: “Four Weddings, Three Funerals, and a Monkey”
#1139: “Four Weddings, Three Funerals, and a Monkey”


[14:14] *** Sat Feb 17 2007 - LOGGING START ***
[14:14] *** Now talking in #suburbansenshi3

[14:14] <@Dr. X> SUBURBAN SENSHI: FOUR WEDDINGS, THREE FUNERALS AND A MONKEY
[14:14] <@Dr. X> Rated 16+ DLSV
[14:15] <@Dr. X> February 17th, 2007
[14:16] *** PRELUDE
[14:16] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> This is Karasuma Akane, coming to you live and direct from Casa Loma castle in Toronto, Ontario, where Japanese idols Ten'ou Haruka and Kaioh Michiru are due to be wed in a matter of hours. This is a wedding that has drawn massive attention from the Japanese Media due to the fact that it's a same-sex marriage. Michiru, a world famous Violinist and painter, and Haruka, an accomplished pianist and professional racer, have been together for over 12 years, their relationship a closely guarded secret, until now.
[14:16] *** Casa Loma is a huge, ornate castle that seems out of place in the middle of a huge metropolis like Toronto.
[14:16] *** http://parklibrary.jomc.unc.edu/2005awardscasaloma.jpg
[14:17] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> There are throngs of people outside, some trying to get pictures of the bridal party, others protesting the marriage, and others supporting it. You can see Mr. Satan battling Ohtori Akio behind me if you look carefully.
[14:17] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> My broadcast partner, Aya Reiko is inside the castle, in the Great Hall, where preparations are still being made for the Wedding Procession.
[14:17] *** http://www.danieletdaniel.ca/venusAndEvents/venues/images/casaLoma2.jpg
[14:18] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> This is Aya Reiko for Ginga TV! Staff here at Casa Loma have their hands full keeping the public out of the castle. Ara, someone just got thrown out the window!!
[14:18] *** Someone can be heard screaming from the background.
[14:18] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> As you can see, there's media from almost every country in the world, except for the US, which is still busy trying to make Anna Nicole Smith into the next Marylin Monroe. The bride is already on the premises, overseeing details of the ceremony and reception, but no one's seen the ... ano... the other bri... how--
[14:18] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> ARRGH. No one has seen the other "Partner" yet.
[14:18] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Ara, sorry... right, no one has seen Ten'ou Haruka yet...
[14:18] *** 10,000 feet up above Toronto, the rear of a small private aircraft, right behind an open door.
[14:18] <Reverend_H> You sure about this s[BLEEP]t, yo?
[14:19] <@SpeedRcrX> Yeah man!
[14:19] * @SpeedRcrX dons a helmet
[14:19] <@SpeedRcrX> This will be the baddest entrance EVER
[14:19] <Reverend_H> yo, you ain't tryin' to get your ass killed before the wedding just so you ain't gotta go through wit it?
[14:19] <@SpeedRcrX> Man... no. Half the world's press is there. And Michi thinks I've been tryin' to run away from this s[BLEEP]t.
[14:19] <Reverend_H> Newsflash Homes, you BEEN tryin' to run from this s[BLEEP]t. For 12 years, yo.
[14:20] <@SpeedRcrX> Look, I'm over that. I'm calm, cool and collected. I'm gonna parachute down there like f[BLEEP]king James Bond in Licence to Kill. I'll land and be a total badass, awing everyone who sees me. The bridesmaids will go nuts and Michi's blood will leave her brain. Aww man I will be THE AWESOME!
[14:20] <Reverend_H> You ever jumped from 10,000 feet before, yo?
[14:20] <@SpeedRcrX> No, how hard can it b--
[14:20] * @SpeedRcrX looks down
[14:20] <@SpeedRcrX> F[BLEEP]K
[14:20] * @SpeedRcrX clings to Elios
[14:20] <Reverend_H> S[BLEEP]t man, don't be touchin' me like that!
[14:21] <@SpeedRcrX> What you got a thing against women grabbing you?
[14:21] <Reverend_H> B[BLEEP]ch you ain't no woman, you're like a guy with boobs
[14:21] * Reverend_H pushes Haruka away on instinct-- right out the plane door
[14:21] <@SpeedRcrX> OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
[14:22] * @SpeedRcrX goes spiraling into the air, a massive castle and the city of Toronto under her
[14:22] <Reverend_H> Whoops, yo
[14:22] * Reverend_H pales and whistles and goes back into the plane closing the door
[14:22] * Reverend_H opens the door for a second and yells "Don't forget to pull the ripcord, yo!"
[14:22] *** Inside the Great Hall, Casa Loma Castle
[14:22] * Mdm_Maestro looks at her watch
[14:23] <Mdm_Maestro> Hmph. That Haruka. Where could she BE. She had better not be hiding again.
[14:23] *** About half a mile away from the castle
[14:23] *** A scream can be heard from the sky "--AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
[14:23] * @SpeedRcrX falls intro the branches of a tree slowly, her billowing parachute draping the tree over her. There is a slashing, cutting noise as she uses the Space Sword to rip up the Parachute cloth. However, she is tangled up in the cords, unable to move.
[14:23] <@SpeedRcrX> F[BLEEP]k. Michi will _NEVER_ believe this.
[14:23] *** Casa Loma, a room adjoining the great hall. The bridesmaids-- Ami, Chibiusa, Minako, and Setsuna are just finishing dressing.
[14:24] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Moh... the problem with being married is you can't hit on the groomsmen~
[14:24] <Mizunomics01> Minako-chan, those groomsmen are the insane Tomoe Souichi, the womanizing pimp Elios, the turtle-violating stalker fur Furuhata Motoki, and the lolicon Chiba Mamoru. Do you REALLY want to hit on them?
[14:24] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Well no, I kind of want to *hit them*. But it's the principle of the thing!!
[14:24] *** Rei and Makoto walk in
[14:24] <IrnChef_Jovian> Ami-chan, you look very nice in your dress...
[14:25] <Mizunomics01> Mako-chan, it's a pity you're being asked to cater this event and so could not be a bridesmaid.
[14:25] <IrnChef_Jovian> Oh, you wanted to see me as one?
[14:25] * IrnChef_Jovian blushes
[14:25] <Mizunomics01> I would have preferred to be in my lab programming instead of wasting time at some asinine commitment ceremony that's a throwback to antiquated social mores that cannot even adapt to the reality of the love being celebrated.
[14:25] <flame_SNIPER> Dammit, why wasn't *I* picked to be a Bridesmaid?!
[14:25] <setsy_meiou> You know Michiru is envious of your psychic talents.
[14:25] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Hah more like she's envious of your "talent"
[14:26] * [gTV]C'est_la_V giggles
[14:26] <flame_SNIPER> heh
[14:26] *** Hotaru walks in, fuming, dressed in a black slip, some clothes slung over her arm
[14:26] <FireFly_9> Hmph. "Talent" is overrated.
[14:26] * FireFly_9 holds up a corset
[14:26] <FireFly_9> I refuse to wear this... this *mockery* of my figure!
[14:26] <IrnChef_Jovian> What's wrong, Hotaru-chan?
[14:27] <FireFly_9> Michiru-momma wants me to look "appealing" for the cameras when I walk down the aisle. How can she be so shallow!
[14:27] <setsy_meiou> Hotaru-chan, one day you'll realize that a woman has to show off in order to get noticed
[14:27] <FireFly_9> Setsuna-momma, what the HELL kind of lesson is that to teach your adopted child?!
[14:27] <flame_SNIPER> The kind of lesson someone who could never get the king to look at her for more than five minutes would take to heart.
[14:27] <setsy_meiou> Quiet, Rei-chan ><
[14:27] <IrnChef_Jovian> Ahahaha remember the time she faked her own death just to get him to show emotion for her?
[14:27] * [gTV]C'est_la_V clutches her heart overdramatically and falls to the floor.
[14:28] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> "I... carried out my mission with honor... King... Your face is so close..."
[14:28] * setsy_meiou twitches
[14:28] * FireFly_9 breaks out in laughter hearing that
[14:28] * [gTV]C'est_la_V rolls around, sitting up and gripping Mako-chan's leg looking at her so pathetically.
[14:28] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> "Don't look so sad... Your lavender suit... The beautiful violet of sunset... King..."
[14:28] * setsy_meiou stomps out
[14:29] <Mizunomics01> She must feel incredibly stupid wasting her time on a man who turned out to be a reprobate lolicon.
[14:29] <IrnChef_Jovian> It's so hard to find true love...
[14:29] * IrnChef_Jovian glances at Ami
[14:29] * Mizunomics01 walks out of the room, muttering "nerve stimulation is a perfect substitute for the busy woman. Must remember to buy some batteries."
[14:29] * Mizunomics01 is gone
[14:29] <IrnChef_Jovian> With the power of Jupiter I could be your battery, Ami-chan...
[14:30] *** Rei and Minako look at each other and sweatdrop.
[14:30] *** Half a mile away, Haruka's Tree
[14:30] <@SpeedRcrX> Dammit... damn ropes, lucky I got one hand free ><
[14:30] * @SpeedRcrX hears a rustling in the tree
[14:30] * @SpeedRcrX cranes her neck to look and see the source
[14:31] * @SpeedRcrX sees a Monkey
[14:31] <@SpeedRcrX> Oh s[BLEEP]t a monkey! Kickass!
[14:31] *** The Monkey is holding a banana.
[14:31] <@SpeedRcrX> Mmm... Banana... that looks good~
[14:31] * @SpeedRcrX grabs the banana from the monkey
[14:31] *** The Monkey SCREECHES and whips out a switchblade
[14:32] <@SpeedRcrX> The hell!?
[14:32] *** The Monkey advances menacingly
[14:32] <@SpeedRcrX> I'm more evolved than you, dammit! I DESERVE this fruit!
[14:32] * @SpeedRcrX headbutts the monkey and sends it falling out of the tree into the middle of the road below
[14:32] *** The Monkey lands on the ground, gets up and puts the knife in its mouth, preparing to climb back up the tree.
[14:32] *** The Monkey is hit by a limo however, and carried off, shaking its fist in rage.
[14:33] <@SpeedRcrX> Whoa that's one sweetass limo. I wonder where I've seen the coat of arms on its roof before... that big "K" with the lions on either side over a blue shield with the ocean on it...
[14:33] <@SpeedRcrX> And there's a lot of other black cars following, Japanese models....
[14:33] <@SpeedRcrX> That big K... oh crap. CRAP.
[14:34] *** Outside Casa Loma
[14:34] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> The public is parting as we see the arrival of an entourage of vehicles. Our helicopter has been following them since their arrival at Toronto's Pearson International Airport.
[14:34] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Ara, everyone expected Kaioh Michiru to enter this way, but she snuck in earlier today to make sure everything was in order!!
[14:34] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> But these cars belong to the Kaioh Group, one of the most powerful corporations in Japan and the United Kingdom!
[14:35] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> That's true, because while it may not be Kaioh Michiru who's arriving, it's--
[14:35] *** The large black limousine pulls up, and a tall, blue haired woman emerges, somewhat taller than Michiru, but the resemblance is obvious.
[14:36] <Arisu Kaioh> O HO HO HO HO HO HO!
[14:36] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> It's the mother of Michiru Kaioh, Arisu Kaioh, the daughter of a British Aristocrat who married into the Kaioh family and took their name.
[14:36] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> There's no sign of her husband, the son of famous 1920's stage performer Kanzaki Sumiere.
[14:36] <Arisu Kaioh> Nor will there be, dear~
[14:36] * [gTV]Karasuma_Akane starts, suddenly being presented with an interview of this stature out of the blue.
[14:37] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Ms. Kaioh! An honor to speak with you--
[14:37] <Arisu Kaioh> Of course it is, dear.
[14:37] * Arisu Kaioh smiles elegantly, eyes narrowing, taking in every inch of the reporter before her, nostrils flaring in sophisticated disdain as she notes how low-class this woman dresses. Why, that suit probably cost her at most $1500.00!
[14:37] <Arisu Kaioh> My husband, has unfortunately passed on.
[14:37] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> A shocking revelation that will surely send waves though the corporate world!
[14:37] <Arisu Kaioh> Nonsense. *I* am the Kaioh-Kanzaki Group. He was a good-for nothing Yakuza dilettante whose manners had to be corrected with the application of my knee to his groin. A stain on his mother's illustrious name.
[14:38] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> If we may ask... how did he...
[14:38] <Arisu Kaioh> All this talk of a wedding got him excited, and he decided he wished to frolic. I believe the official cause of death on his death certificate was listed as "an excess of erotic pleasure."
[14:38] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> ...
[14:38] <Arisu Kaioh> O HO HO HO HO- Kaioh Women are superior in all facets of living~
[14:38] * Arisu Kaioh walks into Casa Loma, flanked by a dozen security guards in black suits.
[14:38] *** Inside Casa Loma
[14:39] * =^catablanca^= is perched on Mina's shoulder
[14:39] <=^catablanca^=> Mina... is that Michiru coming over there?
[14:39] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> No, she's too tall... that looks like her though... a sister?
[14:39] <flame_SNIPER> Obviously it's her mother.
[14:39] <FireFly_9> Have any of you seen father?
[14:40] * FireFly_9 is wearing her typical black bodysuit and dark blue leggings.
[14:40] <flame_SNIPER> Hotaru-chan, you still haven't changed into your dress?
[14:40] <FireFly_9> I'm going to avoid being a puffed-up spectacle for the masses as long as I can.
[14:40] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Hmph! If *I* was the made of honor I'd be flaunting it!! You don't know how to work the people!!
[14:40] <FireFly_9> I don't want to work the--
[14:40] * FireFly_9 freezes.
[14:40] <flame_SNIPER> What is it Hotaru-chan??
[14:41] * FireFly_9 just points at a figure in the doorway, flanked by trumpeters and soldiers holding up a huge banner with his face on it.
[14:41] <B4DD3R-th4n-KingKong-Itz-Kim-jonG!!!> Oh HoTaLu, mY ChIiLd BLiDe.... iVe cOmE fOL yOu aNd mY gILRfLenD ChIbIuSa
[14:41] <FireFly_9> Chibiusa-chan... is in another part of the castle. And I have no wish to be your Child Bride. I'm 26, you know!
[14:41] * B4DD3R-th4n-KingKong-Itz-Kim-jonG!!! roOks aT hOtALu'S ChEsT
[14:41] <B4DD3R-th4n-KingKong-Itz-Kim-jonG!!!> U r0ok mOLe RiKe tHe 6 yEaLz oRd...
[14:41] <FireFly_9> OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THERE IS MORE TO A WOMAN
[14:42] * B4DD3R-th4n-KingKong-Itz-Kim-jonG!!! roOks aT hOtALu'S BuTt
[14:42] <FireFly_9> ><
[14:42] * FireFly_9 has finally had enough and PUNCHES Kim Jong IL, stalking off
[14:42] <B4DD3R-th4n-KingKong-Itz-Kim-jonG!!!> Oh GoD shE is So StLonG... wE wiL pLoDucE diVinE ChIRLDLeN
[14:43] *** Half a Mile from Casa Loma - Haruka's Tree
[14:43] <@SpeedRcrX> Dammit that Banana didn't last long
[14:43] * @SpeedRcrX looks at her watch
[14:43] <@SpeedRcrX> I am so f[BLEEP]king late
[14:43] * @SpeedRcrX watches as a car comes TEARING down the road, a pimped out Acura who's had its aerodynamics totally ruined by the addition of aftermarket spoilers, hubcaps and accessories to make it look like a more expensive racer.
[14:43] <@SpeedRcrX> Hah, stupid-ass ricers.
[14:43] *** A series of black Yakuza-style cars zoom in behind the Acura and catch up to it, flanking it, ramming it to a dead stop.
[14:44] <@SpeedRcrX> Holy S[BLEEP]T!
[14:44] * @SpeedRcrX looks more closely as the Yakuza get out of their cars, obviously low class thugs, come out spinning baseball bats and preparing to massacre the driver of the Acura.
[14:44] *** The Driver of the Acura gets out, a huge, strapping man in a muscle shirt, grinning insanely and cracking his knuckles. Drinking a can of beer, he belches and wobbles towards them.
[14:44] <@SpeedRcrX> O_O
[14:44] <@SpeedRcrX> No way...
[14:44] *** the Driver proceeds to maul the first Yakuza drunken style, then takes his bat and finish the others off with extreme prejudice.
[14:44] <@SpeedRcrX> Holy crap! It is you!
[14:45] * @SpeedRcrX yells "POP!"
[14:45] <Ten'ou Arata> Haruka! Hey kid, what the f[BLEEP]k you doing up there stuck in that tree like a contortionist after a hot night with Plastic Man?
[14:45] <@SpeedRcrX> Shut up Pop! I had an accident with an airplane!
[14:45] <Ten'ou Arata> Dammit kid you and your crazy sex games, this is the day of your wedding, you need to calm down on that s[BLEEP]t!
[14:45] <@SpeedRcrX> WHAT
[14:45] <@SpeedRcrX> I didn't do S[BLEEP]T pop
[14:47] <Ten'ou Arata> Good because I'd kick your f[BLEEP]king ass back to Tokyo if you did that scat s[BLEEP]t
[14:47] <@SpeedRcrX> goddammit stop traumatizing me!
[14:47] <Ten'ou Arata> Hey you have an incredibly hot and sexy woman waiting for you in the castle, get the f[BLEEP]k out of that tree
[14:47] <@SpeedRcrX> So you're not pissed I don't go for guys?
[14:47] <Ten'ou Arata> My kid scored a HOT and SEXY WOMAN. That's better than I ever did
[14:47] <@SpeedRcrX> Hey don't insult mom!
[14:47] <Ten'ou Arata> Haruka.... about your mother....
[14:48] <@SpeedRcrX> What about mom....?
[14:48] <Ten'ou Arata> I lost her, 'Ruka.
[14:48] <@SpeedRcrX> WHAT? Mom's Dead?!
[14:48] * @SpeedRcrX slumps in the tree, tears coming to her eyes
[14:48] <Ten'ou Arata> No, no, a few years ago I bet her in a card game to Oren Iishi and lost...
[14:48] <@SpeedRcrX> ...
[14:48] <Ten'ou Arata> And then after she got used to the money and s[BLEEP]t and the higher more comfortable lifestyle she divorced me and started sending thugs to kill me at her leisure
[14:49] <@SpeedRcrX> I can't blame her, you dumbass!
[14:49] <Ten'ou Arata> Who's the Dumbass?! I didn't get MY punkass stuck up a f[BLEEP]king TREE!
[14:49] * Ten'ou Arata knocks back a beer and turns to leave
[14:49] <@SpeedRcrX> Wait! Pop! Hang on, can you help me out of here?
[14:49] * Ten'ou Arata turns back around, gives Haruka the finger and goes back to the car, tossing some beer cans out of the vehicle, and driving off, the battered car swerving and weaving as it makes its way down the road.
[14:50] * @SpeedRcrX sighs and leans back in the tree. Then her nose twitches. A scent catches it. the scent of... beer.
[14:50] * @SpeedRcrX looks down and sees a mostly full beer can sitting upright on the ground.
[14:50] <@SpeedRcrX> Beer....
[14:50] * @SpeedRcrX begins to strain against the parachute cord with superhuman strength, her burning desire for the beer overriding all pain, all weakness, all fear. The beer was there, calling to her. It tasks her. It tasks her, and she MUST HAVE IT!
[14:50] *** Casa Loma, Great Hall
[14:51] * GERMATOID IS WALKING DOWN THE HALL DRESSED SHARPLY IN A BLACK 3 PIECE, HUMMING TO HIMSELF, TOSSING A SEED OF DAIMON IN HIS HAND AS HE GOES, CHECKING OUT THE WOMEN IN THE CROWD OUTSIDE...
[14:51] <// J_Daito //> What are you doing Souichi?
[14:51] <GERMATOID> I'VE BEEN SINGLE FOR A LONG TIME JED, IT'S TIME I GOT MARRIED AGAIN
[14:51] <// J_Daito //> Weren't you having a fling with the ex-Time Hag?
[14:51] <GERMATOID> SHE STILL HAS IT IN HER FOR CHIBA NO MATTER WHAT :<
[14:52] <// J_Daito //> So what's that seed for?
[14:52] <GERMATOID> IT'S A SURPRISE! MUAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAH!
[14:52] *** Elsewhere in Casa Loma
[14:52] * [gTV]C'est_la_V blows Artemis' nose with a hanky
[14:52] <=^catablanca^=> God... Weddings... I remember Luna and me's wedding~
[14:52] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> How was it?
[14:52] <=^catablanca^=> Her and Me, in Neo Vegas with Ronald McDonald as the Preacher~
[14:53] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> ...
[14:53] <=^catablanca^=> My penance for the hottest 5 seconds of my life...
[14:53] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> How do catgirls stand it... only 5 seconds at a time?
[14:53] <flame_SNIPER> That's why you never see Catgirls with Catguys.
[14:53] <=^catablanca^=> Shut up ><
[14:54] *** CASA LOMA - The kitchen
[14:54] * Arisu Kaioh walks in to see her daughter arguing with someone.
[14:55] <Mdm_Maestro> Makoto-chan, this cake is simply UN Acceptable! The batter is of the wrong consistency, the frosting is too thin and lacks appropriate sweetening, and the decorations are third rate!
[14:55] <IrnChef_Jovian> Michiru-san, what are you talking about?! These are the best ingredients you can buy, and I spent an entire DAY getting this cake ready for you. That's a SOLID SILVER STATUE of you and Haruka-san up there!
[14:55] <Arisu Kaioh> Ara, does my daughter look like a werewolf to you, that you would drive her away with such a plebeian attempt at artistic expression?
[14:55] * Mdm_Maestro is in shock
[14:55] <Mdm_Maestro> M-Mother!
[14:55] * IrnChef_Jovian just LOOKS at this lady
[14:56] <Arisu Kaioh> Do leave us, my dear. This is not a place for servants. Michiru and I need to speak.
[14:56] * IrnChef_Jovian balls up her fists
[14:56] <IrnChef_Jovian> SERVANTS?!
[14:56] <Mdm_Maestro> Mother, she isn't my servant.
[14:56] <Arisu Kaioh> Ahh. Apologies.
[14:56] <Arisu Kaioh> I should have realized you'd have better taste than to hire such lower class people to aid you.
[14:57] * IrnChef_Jovian gets pissed and walks off, throwing down her apron
[14:57] *** Soft, dramatic Afterschool Special music starts to play
[14:57] <Mdm_Maestro> I didn't think you would come.
[14:57] <Arisu Kaioh> That's just what your worthless good-for nothing of a father said before he died, poor creature.
[14:57] <Mdm_Maestro> Ugh.... just thinking about that....
[14:58] <Arisu Kaioh> Now, now, dear. A little scandal is good for the family... but this...
[14:58] <Mdm_Maestro> You don't approve of Haruka, do you? Just because she's a woman--
[14:58] <Arisu Kaioh> With my darling husband gone, there is no chance for me to have another child with the noble Kanzaki-Kaioh bloodline. If you had had a brother or sister, I could have overlooked your fascination with another woman. All noble houses have eccentricities. But *I*... *we*... our entire *line* needs an heir.
[14:58] <Mdm_Maestro> There is always adoption. I have Hotaru--
[14:58] <Arisu Kaioh> Adoption does nothing for BLOOD!
[14:58] <Mdm_Maestro> It's not my fault you overdid it with father and have put our line in jeopardy!
[14:58] <Arisu Kaioh> I heard you once had an affair with David Hasselhoff... when you were angry at this Haruka-person.
[14:59] <Mdm_Maestro> I did... but I didn't love him.
[14:59] <Arisu Kaioh> Can you... do it again.
[14:59] <Mdm_Maestro> what
[14:59] <Arisu Kaioh> Just give me one child. One ba[BLEEP]rd child!
[14:59] <Mdm_Maestro> NO mother, I am not a baby factory!
[14:59] <Arisu Kaioh> DAMN YOU Michiru! I give you education, breeding, money, refinement, I let you live your life as you wish on that damn island of Japan. I ask you for ONE THING. the deliberate creation of life for the propagation of our glorious industrial dynasty and you refuse me!?
[14:59] <Mdm_Maestro> Mother, I am not having relations with David Hasselhoff again.
[15:00] <Arisu Kaioh> Ungrateful wretch!
[15:00] * Arisu Kaioh SLAPS her daughter hard
[15:00] <Arisu Kaioh> I disown you!
[15:00] <Mdm_Maestro> Mother... I... I....
[15:00] * Mdm_Maestro drops to her knees, tears in her eyes
[15:00] <Mdm_Maestro> No.... and that damn Haruka isn't even HERE... where is she! I'm giving up everything for her....
[15:00] <Mdm_Maestro> Why should I even bother to have this wedding!
[15:01] <Arisu Kaioh> - Are you giving up, Michiru? -
[15:01] <Mdm_Maestro> I....
[15:01] <Arisu Kaioh> NO KAIOH or KANZAKI has EVER GIVEN UP!
[15:01] <Arisu Kaioh> (well except for your father, who he had too much viagra at the time and suffered the side effects of myocardial infarction, sudden cardiac death, ventricular arrhythmia, cerebrovascular hemorrhage, transient ischemic attack, hypertension, subarachnoid and intracerebral hemorrhages, and pulmonary hemorrhage all at once right as we were finishing)
[15:01] <Arisu Kaioh> And neither will you!
[15:02] <Arisu Kaioh> We will not be seen to be weak!
[15:02] <Mdm_Maestro> What "we?" You Disowned me!
[15:02] <Arisu Kaioh> Silence! Once a Kaioh, always a Kaioh! YOU WILL BE MARRIED TO TEN'OU HARUKA TODAY, no matter what!
[15:02] * Mdm_Maestro smiles
[15:02] <Arisu Kaioh> *Then* I shall disown you. Or steal your eggs and fuse them with David Duchovny's spermatozoa. But we will discuss that later.
[15:02] <Arisu Kaioh> Now look at this cake, it's absolutely horrid...
[15:03] <Mdm_Maestro> I have to agree... what if we took these ingredients and tried to improve the formula...
[15:03] <Arisu Kaioh> Yes.... help me, dear.
[15:03] *** A few feet outside the rear of the castle.
[15:03] * @SpeedRcrX is dragging herself to the castle, the rear entry in sight.
[15:03] <@SpeedRcrX> Oh god... finally....
[15:03] * @SpeedRcrX crawls to the bushes near the door. But something steps out of the bushes and into view.
[15:04] *** It is The Monkey, tossing its switchblade from one hand to the other, chittering menacingly.
[15:04] <@SpeedRcrX> Oh fu--
[15:04] *** The Monkey LEAPS for Haruka, who turns to flee, but gets SHANKED! In the butt.
[15:04] * @SpeedRcrX lies on the ground face down, bleeding as the monkey goes inside the castle.
[15:04] *** CASA LOMA, GREAT HALL
[15:05] * FireFly_9 still has not changed her dress.
[15:05] <FireFly_9> Has anyone seen Haruka-poppa?
[15:05] <IrnChef_Jovian> I think maybe she ran again. Hell, with a mother-in-law like that *I'd* run.
[15:05] <setsy_meiou> Has anyone seen Endymion-sama-- I mean Mamoru-san?
[15:05] <flame_SNIPER> Setsuna-san, you've got to get him out of your mind...
[15:05] <setsy_meiou> It's not my mind I want him in...
[15:05] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Oh god ><
[15:06] *** At the other end of the Hall
[15:06] <// J_Daito //> So you put that seed in someone's body and they become irresistibly attracted to you?
[15:06] <GERMATOID> AMONG OTHER THINGS! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
[15:06] <// J_Daito //> I see...
[15:06] * GERMATOID WALKS TOWARDS THE ENTRYWAY, WHERE MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC ARE GATHERING, LOOKING FOR ATTRACTIVE WOMEN RELEVANT TO HIS INTERESTS.
[15:06] *** Outside Casa Loma, rear entrance
[15:07] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> God, I need to take a coffee brea--
[15:07] * [gTV]Karasuma_Akane looks down and sees Haruka's prone form on the ground
[15:07] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Haruka? What the--?
[15:07] * [gTV]Karasuma_Akane leans down to check on her, not yet seeing the blood streaming from Haruka's buttcheek.
[15:07] *** Two crows swoop out of nowhere and divebomb Karasuma (and by accident, Haruka) with... let's just call it "nonessential food components"
[15:07] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Oh GOD there's s[BLEEP]t all over my hair and suit!
[15:08] * [gTV]Karasuma_Akane looks up and sees the black crows circling overhead, cackling
[15:08] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Dammit Phobos, Deimos! Can't you let that grudge go!? I'm sorry I put you and Rei in the hospital 9 years ago!
[15:08] *** The Crows reply by giving Karasuma a very special shower.
[15:08] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> ...
[15:08] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> THAT'S IT YOU LITTLE B[BLEEP]CHES
[15:09] * [gTV]Karasuma_Akane transforms into Sailor Lead Crow and extends her wings, taking flight, going after the birds with a homicidal glint in her eyes
[15:09] *** Phobos and Deimos realize they are about to get their tailfeathers handed to them and flee
[15:09] *** Lead Crow continues the pursuit, forgetting all about Haruka.
[15:09] *** Inside Casa Loma
[15:09] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Moh! Where is Haruka-san!?
[15:10] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> I dew kno bat i hard kam jong wuz loking 4 mi
[15:10] <setsy_meiou> What do you see in him, anyway, Small Lady?
[15:10] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> haz warhads r sew bag an hurd
[15:10] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> There's more to a man than his warhead...
[15:10] <setsy_meiou> ...But it doesn't hurt *giggle*
[15:10] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> ror i shuld gew fand ahm
[15:10] * .'~SugaBB_2999~'. is away: fanang mai x boifrand
[15:11] * flame_SNIPER walks by
[15:11] <flame_SNIPER> I don't believe this. Michiru-san and her mother kicked Mako-chan out of the kitchen and are working on the wedding cake themselves!
[15:11] *** There is a momentary look of horror from everyone.
[15:11] <setsy_meiou> Now now, Mako-chan already made the cake, I'm sure they can't make it any worse.
[15:11] *** The kitchen
[15:11] <Arisu Kaioh> Michiru, you certainly have no idea how to cook.
[15:12] <Mdm_Maestro> Mother, I know full well what I'm doing! All we need to do is add this mustard to the cake for a very subtle tang!
[15:12] <Arisu Kaioh> Daughter, first you have to inject the molasses!
[15:12] <Mdm_Maestro> NO! In what universe does Molasses go well with plantains inside a cake!
[15:12] <Arisu Kaioh> The Plantains are for garnish!
[15:12] <Mdm_Maestro> LOOK I'm ADDING WASABI AND THAT'S ALL THERE IS TO IT!
[15:12] <Arisu Kaioh> Dear, There is NO ingredient you could add that would make me...
[15:13] * Arisu Kaioh trails off as she sees a sandy blonde, muscled man in a tight shirt, drunkenly drinking a beer stumble into the kitchen looking for the fridge.
[15:13] <Arisu Kaioh> ... feel good about things...
[15:13] * Arisu Kaioh ignores Michiru and begins walking over to this exquisite man~
[15:13] * Mdm_Maestro is too engrossed adding the pimentos to the cake to notice Haruka's father.
[15:13] * Arisu Kaioh walks over to the tall, strapping man, and feels herself blushing hotly. It's undignified but she can't help it.
[15:14] * Arisu Kaioh touches him on the arm with a light, brushing touch.
[15:14] <Arisu Kaioh> Excuse me, dear....
[15:14] * Ten'ou Arata turns and sees this incredibly HOT blue-haired woman, middle aged, stacked, and looking refined and wealthy. And she just TOUCHED HIM. Hot damn!
[15:14] <Ten'ou Arata> Hi there *toothglint*
[15:14] * Arisu Kaioh almost melts
[15:14] <Arisu Kaioh> Are you... are you looking for something to drink?
[15:15] * Arisu Kaioh blinks alluringly
[15:15] <Ten'ou Arata> I'm almost out of beer...
[15:15] <Arisu Kaioh> I have... extremely delicious wine that can.. satisfy your needs...
[15:15] <Ten'ou Arata > O RLY
[15:16] * Arisu Kaioh takes his hand and leads him out through the great hall back to her private limousine, which has its own minibar... and sleeping area...
[15:16] <flame_SNIPER> Don't those two kind of look like Michiru-san and Haruka-san?
[15:16] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Yeah...
[15:16] <IrnChef_Jovian> They sure seemed friendly...
[15:16] <setsy_meiou> It's good to see future family members getting along.
[15:16] *** FIVE MINUTES LATER, THE KAIOH LIMO, WATERBED
[15:17] <Ten'ou Arata> My GOD that was good
[15:17] <Arisu Kaioh> Mmm... you certainly are a wild one... dear
[15:17] <Ten'ou Arata> I never got your name...
[15:17] <Arisu Kaioh> Kaioh Arisu... but I say it the western way....
[15:18] <Ten'ou Arata> Kaioh... as in...
[15:18] <Arisu Kaioh> My daughter is getting married here today, yes...
[15:18] <Ten'ou Arata> TO MY DAUGTHER, HARUKA!
[15:19] * Arisu Kaioh shudders
[15:19] <Arisu Kaioh> You're Ten'ou Arata?!
[15:19] <Ten'ou Arata> Yup
[15:20] * Arisu Kaioh shudders more
[15:20] <Arisu Kaioh> We're going to be related!
[15:21] <Ten'ou Arata> Dammit, this f[BLEEP]king sucks. I finally find a woman who's smart, cultured, hot as hell and a tiger in the sack and now I'm gonna be related to her. DAMMIT
[15:21] <Arisu Kaioh> You know... I never approved of the marriage between our children.
[15:21] <Ten'ou Arata> Well I didn't care, I just wanted 'Ruka to be happy. I told her maybe she should get a sex change operation, but she said she liked having boobs to feel up when she was lonely, no junk to get kicked in when in a fight, and being able to last forever in bed.
[15:21] <Arisu Kaioh> I just wanted a way for my family bloodline to continue.
[15:21] * Arisu Kaioh looks over Arata's strong, masculine body that pleases her so well.
[15:22] <Arisu Kaioh> You know, my dear.... if our children failed to marry, we would not be related...
[15:22] <Ten'ou Arata> Holy s[BLEEP]t... you're right...
[15:22] <Arisu Kaioh> And we could be free to marry. And have children...
[15:22] <Ten'ou Arata> And have fun havin' em! ROCK ON!
[15:23] <Arisu Kaioh> Arata-chan... for the sake of our carnal desires, and for the perpetuation of the Kaioh-Kanzaki line-- we must stop them from marrying... and MARRY IN THEIR PLACE! O HO HO HO HO HO HO HO
[15:23] *** Casa Loma, Kitchen
[15:23] * Mdm_Maestro walks out, finally finished with her re-creation of the cake up to her culinary standards.
[15:23] *** Dragging herself forward slowly, Haruka finally makes it into the castle via the kitchen. Hauling herself up via grabbing the handles on various drawers, she makes it to her feet and finds a half open beer, which she drinks. Re-Energized, she makes a poultice out of one of Michiru's casseroles and stops her bleeding. She spies the wedding cake.
[15:24] <@SpeedRcrX> Damn that cake looks good. But it lacks something...
[15:24] * @SpeedRcrX pulls out her cellphone
[15:24] <@SpeedRcrX> (phone) Hi, is this Super Sleazy Strippers? Yeah, yeah it's me, Haruka. Oh man I've been GOOD. Yea, but I'm getting married now. I know man, don't cry, you'll get another triple platinum customer. Yeah I need a stripper for a cake. The looser the better to get the mood going. Yeah, Lucy'll do... Lucy Arwento... there's a giant-ass cake in the kitchen, just tell her to get in there and wait. Thanks!
[15:24] * @SpeedRcrX gets distracted by one of her dad's playboys that was left on the table. She goes to the bathroom.
[15:25] *** the Great Hall
[15:25] <Mdm_Maestro> Where the HELL is Haruka!?
[15:25] <IrnChef_Jovian> Everyone's outside looking for her.
[15:25] <Mdm_Maestro> Dammit, I will not be stood up! Everyone's arriving! the wedding must go on!
[15:25] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Leave it to me!!
[15:26] * [gTV]C'est_la_V runs off, hauling up her bridesmaid's dress as she runs off.
[15:26] <flame_SNIPER> What's she going to do?
[15:26] <=^catablanca^=> Do we really want to know?
[15:26] *** There's the sound of screeching and fighting in the distance.
[15:26] * [gTV]C'est_la_V comes back with a monkey dressed as Haruka-san!.
[15:26] <flame_SNIPER> Minako-chan what the hell is that
[15:26] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> It's a monkey dressed as Haruka-san!!
[15:27] <IrnChef_Jovian> Kawaii! Where did you get the clothes?
[15:27] <=^catablanca^=> It's one of the little suits she makes me wear sometimes when she wants to get post of the day on cuteoverload.com
[15:27] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> kekekekekeke
[15:27] *** The Monkey is displeased by this turn of events.
[15:27] <Mizunomics01> Michiru-san, you're not really going to marry a monkey, are you?
[15:28] <Mdm_Maestro> Haruka, a monkey, what's the difference in the end ><
[15:28] <Mdm_Maestro> Get it ready for the processional.
[15:28] * [gTV]C'est_la_V flashes the V sign repeatedly
[15:28] <Mizunomics01> Why do I get the distinct impression that this wedding is about to spiral out of control?
[15:28] *** The kitchen
[15:29] * Lucy Arwento sneaks into the house, wrapped in a towel, her scandalous stripper "clothes" underneath. She reads the note left to her by her company, which tells her to get in the "huge-ass cake" in the kitchen. Spying the cake, she makes her way inside, curling up.
[15:29] <Lucy Arwento> This cake sure smells funny inside... I wonder what flavor it is...
[15:29] * Lucy Arwento experimentally dabs some cake onto her hand and eats it.
[15:29] *** In the guest area of the great hall
[15:29] * B4DD3R-th4n-KingKong-Itz-Kim-jonG!!! WanDerS tHLoUGh the CLowd
[15:29] <B4DD3R-th4n-KingKong-Itz-Kim-jonG!!!> O HoTaLu, WheLe aLe yOu~
[15:30] * .'~SugaBB_2999~'. seez har men loking 4 horatu-chun
[15:30] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> - facker, gat yur az bak 2 mi bich... -
[15:30] * [gTV]Karasuma_Akane walks in, sweating, back in her regular outfit, two beat up crows squished in either of her hands.
[15:30] * [gTV]Karasuma_Akane walks over to Hino Rei
[15:30] <flame_SNIPER> Phobos! Deimos! What the HELL have you done to them!?
[15:30] * [gTV]Karasuma_Akane just SHOVES a paper in Rei's face
[15:31] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> That's my damn DRY CLEANING BILL
[15:31] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> They'll be fine in a few days, but they'll need to be fed by TUBES for now.
[15:31] * flame_SNIPER looks at the crows, then the bill, and figures it out
[15:31] <flame_SNIPER> Ugh.. sorry... they've picked up bad habits from Yuuichiro and ojiisan.
[15:31] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Arrgh. At least I got back here in time to cover the actual ceremony.
[15:32] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Akane-sempai! You won't believe it!! I met so many reporters from CNN and MSNBC and NHK!!
[15:32] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> I got Wolf Blitzer's autograph!
[15:32] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Dammit! I've always wanted that! What kind of demonic luck do you HAVE?!
[15:32] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Ara...
[15:32] * Wolf Blitzer walks by
[15:32] <Wolf Blitzer> Oh... I've always wanted to meet you ladies too...
[15:32] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Really?
[15:32] <Wolf Blitzer> Yeah, Ginga's Girls of the Newsroom... I've always wanted to have a three-way dance with you...
[15:33] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> What
[15:33] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> I like dancing!! :D
[15:33] <Wolf Blitzer> Everyone knows the two of you are... close ;D
[15:33] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> We're just roommates.
[15:33] <Wolf Blitzer> Riiiight ;D
[15:34] * [gTV]Karasuma_Akane twitches. The next moment Blitzer has gone flying through the crowd and a wall.
[15:34] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Dammit! Can't two women just be roommates in this day and age!? Rent in Tokyo SUCKS!
[15:34] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Aww sempai, why'd you hit him, I wanted to dance?
[15:34] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Aya, dancing "the freaky lambada" with Wolf Blitzer is not something you really want to do.
[15:35] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Why not, sempai?
[15:35] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> ...
[15:35] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> I should just let you make your own mistakes, shouldn't I?
[15:35] *** Organ music begins to rumble throughout the castle. The Processional is about to begin. Guests are allowed to enter Casa Loma
[18:20] *** [Guest]Raihosha has joined #suburbansenshi3
[18:20] <@Diamond Dice Darkness> Greetings [Guest]Raihosha
[18:20] *** [Guest]Michael Dembeck has joined #suburbansenshi3
[18:20] <@Diamond Dice Darkness> Greetings [Guest]Michael Dembeck
[18:22] *** [Guest]starcat [princess@anothercastle.gov] has joined #suburbansenshi3
[18:22] <@Diamond Dice Darkness> Greetings [Guest]starcat
[18:22] *** [Guest]Wolfwood has joined #suburbansenshi3
[18:22] <@Diamond Dice Darkness> Greetings [Guest]Wolfwood
[18:24] *** [Guest] Jade Lin Yao has joined #suburbansenshi3
[18:24] <@Diamond Dice Darkness> Greetings [Guest] Jade Lin Yao
[18:24] * [Guest]Furu Droid rolls in, beeps twice, and takes a place on Haruka's side
[18:25] *** [Guest] Roomie Rantsom has joined #suburbansenshi3
[18:25] <@Diamond Dice Darkness> Greetings [Guest] Roomie Rantsom
[18:25] * [Guest]Michael Dembeck sits on Haruka's side
[18:25] * setsy_meiou intimidates a few people into sitting on Michiru's side
[18:26] *** [Guest]Kibouni Hikari [solarmiraclexv@mugenmizuomics.org] has joined #suburbansenshi3
[18:26] <@Diamond Dice Darkness> Greetings [Guest]Kibouni Hikari
[18:28] <setsy_meiou> - sit on michiru's side -
[18:28] <[Guest] Roomie Rantsom> ...... You don't have to ask. And greetings, salutations Setsuna.
[18:28] *** [Guest] Sky Blue has joined #suburbansenshi3
[18:28] <@Diamond Dice Darkness> Greetings [Guest] Sky Blue
[18:29] <setsy_meiou> greetings, rantsom-san
[18:29] * [Guest]Raihosha sits on Michiru's side, as he fits in better with how they've dressed. ^_^
[18:29] * setsy_meiou is pleased
[18:30] * [Guest] Sky Blue is carrying with him a *large* bag
[18:31] *** The pews are vast and spacious but rapidly filling with famous guests and international media~
[18:32] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> dear lord, it's a media circus.
[18:32] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Tell me about it.
[18:32] <[Guest] Roomie Rantsom> Sigh, but I will admit, the quality of guests are quite commendable. Definetly a Kaioh-quality wedding.
[18:32] * [Guest] Roomie Rantsom sits on the KAIOH side.
[18:32] *** Somewhere George Soros is winding up a Super 8 camera
[18:32] * [Guest]Michael Dembeck looks around for Andy D[BLEEP]k
[18:33] *** Andy D[BLEEP]k is somewhere in the crowd
[18:33] * [Guest] Sky Blue sits on Haruka-san's "side"
[18:33] * [Guest] Jade Lin Yao will sit on Michiru's side next to Roomie.
[18:34] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> I knew it, if theres Andy D[BLEEP]k there, we know nothing good can come from the event.
[18:34] *** the space between the aisles is vast. We're talking maybe 30-32 feet.
[18:34] *** John Goodman can be seen checking out the Buffet table
[18:34] * [Guest]Meruhesae sits on Haruka's side ^_^
[18:35] * [gTV]Karasuma_Akane is away: Punching out Sheppard Smith
[18:35] * [Guest] Seiya_Kou is dressed in a white suit
[18:35] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> SOMEONE STOP HIM! We'll have none left if Family Guy has taught us anything!
[18:36] <[Guest]starcat> But who catered? That makes all the difference.
[18:36] *** Peter Griffin is swimming in the punch fountain
[18:36] <IrnChef_Jovian> I did!
[18:36] <[Guest]Kibouni Hikari> ......and remind me ot to have any punch.
[18:36] <[Guest] Jade Lin Yao> Makoto!
[18:36] *** [Guest]Duo has joined #suburbansenshi3
[18:36] <@Diamond Dice Darkness> Greetings [Guest]Duo
[18:36] <[Guest]starcat> ...Someone get him away from the table! D:
[18:37] * IrnChef_Jovian waves to Jade before being pulled away by Minako to hunt for Haruka-san
[18:37] <[Guest]Meruhesae> Well! It looks like there'll be no accidental food poisoning tonight! Not if Makoto catered!!!! ^____________^
[18:37] * @Diamond Dice Darkness can be seen near the door, gun in hand, leaning back on the wall
[18:38] * @spiritflame can be seen in the distance (this is a long f[BLEEP]king aisle) going up to the altar and taking her position
[18:39] * [Guest]Kibouni Hikari takes a seat next to Sky and his big-ass bag.
[18:39] *** [Guest] Flambleu has joined #suburbansenshi3
[18:39] <@Diamond Dice Darkness> Greetings [Guest] Flambleu
[18:39] *** [Guest]Kitalia has joined #suburbansenshi3
[18:39] <@Diamond Dice Darkness> Greetings [Guest]Kitalia
[18:39] * [Guest] Flambleu sits on the other side of Sky
[18:39] * [Guest] Cerulean takes a seat on Hikari's other side
[18:40] <[Guest] Jade Lin Yao> Oh, looks like she made it after all.
[18:40] <Master Yoda> Think you this a normal wedding it will be? Noooo... EEEee HEEE HEE
[18:40] <[Guest]Kitalia> Hah! I told you I'd make it! ^_^ *sits with her employers*
[18:40] * Master Yoda joins Peter Griffin in the Punch Fountain
[18:40] <[Guest]Kibouni Hikari> @ at Peter and Yoda--O.o Eww...
[18:41] <[Guest] Flambleu> yeah....... remind me to skip the punch bowl at the buffet...
[18:41] <Mr. T> I PITY Da fool who don't think I'll be here in ONE MINUTE, Sucka~!
[18:42] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> :O
[18:42] * Mr. T pushes John Goodman out of the damn way and takes his own sweet time enjoyin' da buffet
[18:42] <Mr. T> Haruka's my GIRL, yo, I came to see her brightest day!
[18:42] <[Guest]Kibouni Hikari> Wow..
[18:42] <[Guest]Raihosha> The buffet is open already? That's odd…
[18:43] <Mizunomics01> Haruka-san requested it last night in case she got hungry waiting.
[18:43] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> I pity da fool, who uses the bathroom after those two.
[18:44] * Mizunomics01 goes to the other bridesmaids.
[18:44] <[Guest] Roomie Rantsom> - Smart woman... if this were a sporting event. -
[18:44] <[Guest]Raihosha> Classic Haruka, Ami-san.
[18:44] * [gTV]Karasuma_Akane goes to check on Aya and the Ginga camera crews
[18:44] <[Guest] Flambleu> Roomie... chances are it'll be *very much* like a sporting event >.>
[18:45] *** The organ music swells~
[18:45] *** THE PROCESSIONAL
[18:45] * [Guest] Roomie Rantsom takes his seat.
[18:45] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> It's time now for the wedding. Protestors have been kept outside mainly due to the presence of the gun-toting killer android Sakura April, who's already fragged about half the student council members from Ohtori Academy with high velocity explosive rounds. As the Organ music begins, we await the arrival of the groom, Ten'ou Haruka, who has not been seen all day here at Casa Loma. The "Groomsmen" and Bridesmaids assemble.
[18:45] * [Guest] Jade Lin Yao takes her seat next to Roomie and sits close to him.
[18:46] * [Guest] Seiya_Kou takes a seat
[18:46] *** Professor Tomoe and Ami link arms and begin to walk forward to the forward part of the great hall, just before the altar.
[18:46] *** Elios and Chibiusa follow, side by side, Elios' hand planted firmly on Chibiusa's butt, groping. Kim Jong looks on jealously and pulls Chibiusa aside
[18:46] <B4DD3R-th4n-KingKong-Itz-Kim-jonG!!!> oH ChiBiUsA, wHaT dO yoU sEe iN tHiS RitTlE b[BLEEP]ch?
[18:47] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> i jast dayte ham bcuz has blak stalion iz 12 anches log
[18:47] * .'~SugaBB_2999~'. loks ehand har at har fadar
[18:47] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> oh hez da 1 i went, evan if hi onli lazts 4 minatz~
[18:47] <[Guest]starcat> There's something I could have lived without knowing...
[18:47] * [Guest] Flambleu -tachi cringes >_<
[18:47] <B4DD3R-th4n-KingKong-Itz-Kim-jonG!!!> ...
[18:47] * [Guest]Kibouni Hikari takes Ceru-chan's hand in anticipation, the other slipping into Sky's bag for some popcorn.
[18:47] <B4DD3R-th4n-KingKong-Itz-Kim-jonG!!!> - i wIrR dEsTLoY yOu, ChIbA MaMoLu~ -
[18:47] *** Motoki and Minako follow behind them, Minako keeping some distance from her stalker, clearly not happy.
[18:48] *** Mamoru and Setsuna bring up the rear, as Setsuna hangs back a bit, drooling at Mamoru's butt.
[18:48] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Can you feel the love?
[18:48] <[Guest]Duo> what LOVE?
[18:48] <[Guest]Raihosha> Feel the love? I'm just hoping i don't have to see the love.
[18:48] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Ara, here comes the best man and the groom!
[18:48] *** Jedite appears, clad in a black version of his Dark Kingdom uniform with red piping. He cracks his neck, waiting for Haruka.
[18:48] *** The Monkey clambers into the room and stands next to Jedite, wearing a blonde Haruka wig in addition to the haruka-costume.
[18:49] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Oh what the f[BLEEP]k is this.
[18:49] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> We're on the air, sempai!
[18:49] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Sorry. Oh what the Jumping Gee Whillikers is this s[BLEEP]t.
[18:49] <[Guest]Kitalia> O_o
[18:49] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Sempai...
[18:49] * [Guest]Kibouni Hikari smiles back and munches on popcorn. Then she sees the monkey, some popcorn falls out. "No f[BLEEP]king way..."
[18:49] <// J_Daito //> (to himself) Ten'ou, this is the lowest you've ever gone.
[18:50] *** The Monkey bares its fangs at Jedite
[18:50] <// J_Daito //> Let's go. *tugs the monkey with him as they walk towards the altar at the end of the cavernous hall, towards hino rei.bot, who is clad in her shinto robes and prepared to perform the ceremony*
[18:50] <[Guest] Sky Blue> goodness.... Haruka-san has.... let herself go??? >.>
[18:50] <@spiritflame> and so it begins
[18:50] <[Guest]starcat> Uncle Haruka looks...healthy. <_<;
[18:50] <[Guest] Roomie Rantsom> <cough><cough> Whatever Ms. Ten'ou is wearing, it smells like it came from the zoo.
[18:50] *** In the audience, one of the Celebrity guests, John Goodman, who is sitting near the aisle, turns and gets a good look at Monkey Haruka.
[18:50] <John Goodman> What the? My favorite Japanese Racer of all time was a MONKEY? Oh god! Oh god this is horrible! Uhh!
[18:51] * John Goodman clutches his heart, standing up dramatically
[18:51] <John Goodman> OH GOD I can't take it--- AGHHH!~!!
[18:51] * John Goodman 's heart explodes as the ratings shoot through the roof as he plops down in front of Jedite and the monkey, dead as a stone.
[18:51] <[Guest]Duo> Shut up Goodman
[18:51] <// J_Daito //> Whoopee Dan Connor is dead. How can I ever survive.
[18:51] * // J_Daito // prods the corpse with his foot slightly.
[18:51] * [Guest]Kibouni Hikari facepalms
[18:51] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> Wow, Roseanne must be licking her lips for that body now
[18:51] *** The monkey chitters and steps on the corpse, moving on. Jedite also walks on the body and continues forward.
[18:51] <[Guest] Sky Blue> does anybody *care* enough to "help" him? >.>
[18:51] <[Guest]Duo> Why Sky, he's dead
[18:51] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Well folks, we've had our first DEATH of the evening. Jedite, the best man, is continuing to escort what looks to be a MONKEY dressed as Ten'ou Haruka down the aisle.
[18:51] * [Guest]Kitalia laughs at the corpse XD
[18:52] <[Guest]Raihosha> He died instantly, not even I, a doctor, could have saved him.
[18:52] * [Guest]starcat bows her head for a moment, then gets back to watching the fun
[18:52] <Tina Turner and everyone in rec.arts.misc.anime> Man is this gonna be some jive bait and switch? I waited 12 damn years for this, honey!
[18:52] <@SpeedRcrX> NO!
[18:52] *** Jedite and the Monkey turn to see Haruka, dressed in a formal suit, looking for all the world like James Bond, standing in the aisle dramatically. There is a roll of Toilet paper still attached to her leg.
[18:52] <@SpeedRcrX> Michiru's MINE, dammit!
[18:52] * Mdm_Maestro gasps from somewhere just out of view, awestruck that Haruka's actually here and ready to go through with it. She steps into view and breathlessly exhales, "Oh yes, Haruka! Yes!"
[18:53] <[Guest] Jade Lin Yao> YO GO GIRL!
[18:53] <[Guest]starcat> Woo!
[18:53] *** The Monkey sees Michiru and hearts form in its eyes. He suddenly knows the sin of desire.
[18:53] * [Guest]starcat applauds the dramatic entrance
[18:53] *** The monkey flips out its switchblade, and in a British accent exclaims "She's mine, Crossdresser-- LET THAT WOMAN ALONE!"
[18:53] <@SpeedRcrX> F[BLEEP]k that, punkass! *breaks out her space switchblade*
[18:53] <[Guest] Sky Blue> psst.... Haruka... toilet paper...
[18:53] * [Guest]Raihosha facefaults.
[18:53] <// J_Daito //> When did Ten'ou get a space switchblade?
[18:53] <[Guest]Duo> What the F[BLEEP]K!?
[18:54] <@SpeedRcrX> My space sword has a ton of secret modes, dude!
[18:54] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> MONKEY KNIFE FIGHT GET!
[18:54] ☼ Scouter indicates The Monkey has HP level of 300!
[18:54] ☼ Scouter indicates @SpeedRcrX has HP level of 300!
[18:54] <[Guest]Kibouni Hikari> They *wouldn't*.
[18:54] ☼ Scouter indicates The Monkey has MP level of 500!
[18:54] * [Guest]Michael Dembeck puts 5 bucks on Cheetah
[18:54] ☼ Scouter indicates @SpeedRcrX has MP level of 500!
[18:54] <[Guest]starcat> They would!
[18:54] <[Guest]Duo> And the bloodshead begins
[18:55] *** 60's Trek Fight Music plays
[18:55] * [Guest] Roomie Rantsom sits a little closer to Jade.
[18:55] [300 HP / 481 MP] The Monkey leaps toward Haruka and stabs at her knees (-19 MP)
[18:55] [300 HP / 501 MP] @SpeedRcrX has DODGED the attack! (0 damage)
[18:55] * [Guest]Kibouni Hikari puts 2000 yen on Haruka, scoots closer to Ceru and cranes her neck.
[18:55] [300 HP / 495 MP] @SpeedRcrX leaps up and dodges, smashing her foot down on it's tail (-6 MP)
[18:56] <[Guest] Jade Lin Yao> It's just a monkey Roomie, what harm can he do anyway?
[18:56] * [Guest] Flambleu puts 500 ¥ on the Monkey :D
[18:56] [273 HP / 492 MP] The Monkey has taken a CRITICAL HIT!! (27 damage)
[18:56] [273 HP / 491 MP] The Monkey screams out in pain and throws its knife into Haruka's thigh (-1 MP)
[18:56] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> Kidneys, KIDNEYS!!!!! GO FOR THE KIDNEYS~
[18:56] * [Guest] Sky Blue will take that bet sir! Puts 750 ¥ on Haruka-san
[18:57] <[Guest]starcat> Monkey who can talk! Monkey with a SWITCHBLADE!
[18:57] [241 HP / 511 MP] @SpeedRcrX has been HIT!! (59 damage)
[18:57] <@SpeedRcrX> OW SONE OF A B[BLEEP]CH
[18:57] [241 HP / 495 MP] @SpeedRcrX swings her space switchblade around "SPACE... SWITCHBLADE... SHANKYOASSER (-16 MP)
[18:57] [226 HP / 492 MP] The Monkey has taken a CRITICAL HIT!! (47 damage)
[18:58] * The Monkey is cut up all over its chest
[18:58] <[Guest] Sky Blue> shank-yo-ass-er....... o.o
[18:58] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> Go you furry little ball of RAGE! Daddies got a Lincoln on ya!
[18:58] [226 HP / 466 MP] The Monkey LEAPS for harka and sinks its fangs into her neck! (-26 MP)
[18:58] [184 HP / 536 MP] @SpeedRcrX has taken a CRITICAL HIT!! (57 damage)
[18:58] <[Guest]Raihosha> Fight fiercely, Haruka-san, fight fiercely do!
[18:58] <@SpeedRcrX> OH SHIOT VAMPIRISM GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF
[18:59] * @SpeedRcrX pulls the monkey's switchblade from her thigh and stabs it in the back
[18:59] <[Guest] Seiya_Kou> damn a vampire monkey that rocks
[18:59] [225 HP / 476 MP] The Monkey has BLOCKED the attack! (1 damage)
[18:59] * The Monkey CATCHES Haruka's fist and SQUEEZES it, taking back the blade!
[18:59] <[Guest]Duo> Haruka, just henshin and cut the thing in half
[19:00] [225 HP / 474 MP] The Monkey starts RAMMING Haruka's arm with the knife again and again with the blade (-2 MP)
[19:01] <@SpeedRcrX> I can't henshin and fight this ba[BLEEP]rd... I can't give away the secret of the sailor senshi...
[19:01] [164 HP / 554 MP] @SpeedRcrX has been HIT!! (20 damage)
[19:02] * @SpeedRcrX cries out in pain as blood geysers from her arm
[19:02] * [Guest]Kibouni Hikari covers her eyes. "Holy crap, that's a lot of blood..."
[19:02] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> Duo, earns one point for, "How do I keep secret identities?"
[19:02] [164 HP / 535 MP] @SpeedRcrX grabs rthe monkey by the tail and SWINGS it over her head slamming it onto the marble behind her (-19 MP)
[19:03] [225 HP / 478 MP] The Monkey has PARRIED the attack! (opponent please SELL) (0 damage)
[19:03] [144 HP / 574 MP] @SpeedRcrX has been STUNNED and LOST A TURN! (opponent go TWICE) (20 damage)
[19:03] * @SpeedRcrX was swung and smashed by a f[BLEEP]king MONKEY?!
[19:04] [225 HP / 464 MP] The Monkey pulls out the switchblade and cuts into Haruka's back writing "C. George" (-14 MP)
[19:04] [144 HP / 576 MP] @SpeedRcrX has DODGED the attack! (0 damage)
[19:04] [225 HP / 438 MP] The Monkey rams it's head into Haruka's from behind (-26 MP)
[19:04] [131 HP / 577 MP] @SpeedRcrX has been HIT!! (13 damage)
[19:05] <@SpeedRcrX> dammit...
[19:05] [131 HP / 541 MP] @SpeedRcrX catches the monkey between her legs and tries to crush its body (-36 MP)
[19:05] [213 HP / 454 MP] The Monkey has been HIT!! (12 damage)
[19:05] [213 HP / 508 MP] The Monkey assumes a defensive stance and awaits your next move. (0 damage)
[19:06] [131 HP / 517 MP] @SpeedRcrX swings the monkey overhead with her legs and SMASHES it into the corpse of John Goodman (-24 MP)
[19:06] * [Guest]starcat watches the fight, now quietly eating Twizzlers
[19:06] [201 HP / 527 MP] The Monkey has been HIT!! (12 damage)
[19:06] [201 HP / 27 MP] SPECIAL ATK: The Monkey hurls her switchblade at Haruka's ass (-500 MP)
[19:06] [131 HP / 522 MP] @SpeedRcrX has DODGED the attack! (0 damage)
[19:07] <[Guest] Jade Lin Yao> YEAH! YOU GO GIRL!
[19:07] <@SpeedRcrX> MY ASS IS MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU MONKEY BOY
[19:07] <[Guest]starcat> Yes! Goo, Uncle Haruka! Turn this fight around!!
[19:07] * @SpeedRcrX eats some of Michiru's meatloaf he had in her pocket
[19:07] <[Guest] Sky Blue> Monkey is fuxor'd~
[19:07] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> news at 11, Haruka's ass not meant for monkey blades
[19:07] * @SpeedRcrX turns around and moons the monkey for phase 1...
[19:07] * [Guest] Jade Lin Yao plugs her nose.
[19:08] * [Guest]Raihosha slips on a gas mask.
[19:08] [131 HP / 22 MP] SPECIAL ATK: @SpeedRcrX uranus meatloaf flatulence SPECIAL ATTACK! (-500 MP)
[19:08] * [Guest]starcat equips 1 gas mask
[19:08] [-68 HP/ 36 MP] The Monkey has been HIT by a SPECIAL ATTACK!! (269 damage)
[19:08] The Monkey has BEEN DEFEATED!!!
[19:08] * The Monkey DISSOLVES in the flatulent odour.....
[19:08] * [Guest]Duo equips gas mask
[19:08] * [Guest]Kibouni Hikari covers her nose and groans
[19:08] <[Guest]starcat> Yes!!
[19:09] * @SpeedRcrX getsup. pulling off her tie and strapping her arm
[19:09] * [Guest]starcat removes the gas mask
[19:09] <@SpeedRcrX> Such is the fate of all who f[BLEEP]k with my wedding plans
[19:09] * [Guest]Duo removes the gas mask
[19:09] <// J_Daito //> Ten'ou. Pull up your pants.
[19:09] * @SpeedRcrX does so.
[19:10] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> ...And after the monkey knifefight, the wedding death toll now stands at 2. PETA and the Society for Prevention to Cruelty to Animals are already filing protests. And in related news, no one cares.
[19:10] * @SpeedRcrX looks to Michi with a smile
[19:10] <@SpeedRcrX> Michi, wanna walk down the aisle with me together?
[19:10] <Mdm_Maestro> Of course, Haruka. :D
[19:11] * Mdm_Maestro Michiru is blushing and looking radiant, all traces of arrogance gone from her face
[19:11] <// J_Daito //> By Metallia, I'm going to vomit, can we hurry this up?!
[19:11] * FireFly_9 chuckles from out of view, if they're going to walk together she can get away without being seen in this damn costume
[19:11] <Mdm_Maestro> Come out here, Hotaru dear, so everyone can see you :D
[19:11] <FireFly_9> Bloody hell ><
[19:11] <[Guest] Sky Blue> oooh.... busted...
[19:11] * FireFly_9 comes out, wearing her dress ( http://www.marvelousmayhem.com/women/custom/000002.jpg Thanks Wolftouched)
[19:11] * // J_Daito // sweats seeing her in that
[19:12] <@SpeedRcrX> Holy crap she looks hot
[19:12] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> Woah...
[19:12] <Mdm_Maestro> Haruka...
[19:12] <[Guest]Duo> watch, in five minuts the arrogance will be be back.
[19:12] <@SpeedRcrX> Not as hot as you Michi :D
[19:12] <[Guest]starcat> Hotaru-san looks wonderful!
[19:12] <Mdm_Maestro> Excellent :D
[19:12] <[Guest] Roomie Rantsom> Duo - Agreed
[19:12] *** There are catcalls from the Audience. Kim Jong IL leaps up in slow motion, seeing the beauty of his soon-to-be child bride~
[19:13] *** At the same moment, from the audience, Fiore emerges from behind Mamoru and Setsuna, pushing Setsuna out of the way, trying to glomp his love~
[19:13] <Fiore > Mamoru-kun~ ♡
[19:13] <Chiba_M> Wha---
[19:13] <B4DD3R-th4n-KingKong-Itz-Kim-jonG!!!> KnEeL bEfoLe KiM JoNg CHiBa MaMoLU!!
[19:13] * B4DD3R-th4n-KingKong-Itz-Kim-jonG!!! leaps into the air matrix style, flipping sideways in the air in slow motion, whipping out two pistols.
[19:14] <@SpeedRcrX> What the hell!?
[19:14] <[Guest] Roomie Rantsom> O__O!!!!
[19:14] * Fiore turns as he hears Kim Jong, just in time to see the pistols. He LEAPS in front of Mamoru as the bullets tear into his body. gouging out huge chunks of flesh, blood flying everywhere HK style.
[19:14] <[Guest]Duo> ^deadpan* yay more blood
[19:14] * Chiba_M throws a steel tipped rose which deflects one of the bullets-- right into Haruka's left arm.
[19:14] <@SpeedRcrX> SON OF A B[BLEEP]CH!
[19:14] * @SpeedRcrX goes down in pain
[19:15] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> This is unbelievable! North Korean Dictator Kim Jong IL has just opened fire in the middle of the wedding, apparently trying to kill Mr. Chiba Mamoru, but instead, Fiore, who we all know as "the gay plant guy from that one time" took the bullets in his chest!
[19:15] <Mdm_Maestro> Haruka! *kneels and begins sucking the blood out of the wound*
[19:15] <@SpeedRcrX> Oh yeah.... mmm...
[19:15] * [Guest]Duo snores
[19:15] * Fiore lies in the middle of the aisle, eyes unfocused, blood leaking from every orifice. He reaches out for Mamoru's hand.
[19:15] <Chiba_M> Fiore...
[19:15] <Fiore> Mamoru... I... I... love you...
[19:16] * Chiba_M 's eyes go wide as Crow and Siren and some CNN people bring their cameras in close to capture every word.
[19:16] * [Guest]Duo is sleeping
[19:16] <Fiore> I'll always remember that time... in the tub.... with you..
[19:16] <Chiba_M> W-wait...
[19:16] <Chiba_M> Dammit Fiore! Fiore, don't DIE!
[19:16] * Fiore dies, hand gripping Mamoru's arm, a loving smile on his face.
[19:17] *** HARUKA AND MICHIRU WEDDING DEATH COUNT: 3
[19:17] <Chiba_M> NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
[19:17] * Chiba_M looks up to the heavens and holds up his arms, railing against destiny
[19:17] *** the news crews move away from the scene as Ami radios "Clean up in Aisle One" and Fiore's body is carried off, the blood being mopped off the floor.
[19:17] <Chiba_M> Why did he have to die like that without explaining the context! Now everyone will think I'm GAY!
[19:17] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> o.O
[19:17] <// J_Daito //> You're not?
[19:17] <Chiba_M> OF COURSE NOT!
[19:18] <// J_Daito //> Oh right, you're just hideously Lolicon.
[19:18] <Chiba_M> There's nothing wrong with having a hot young girlfriend!
[19:18] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> ♡
[19:18] <// J_Daito //> Riight...
[19:18] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Wow! How high will the death toll climb at the wedding of the decade? Ten'ou Haruka has been shot, but she's healed up pretty well thanks to the aid of Kaioh Michiru's incredible oral suction, and she's staggering back to her feet to continue down the aisle! Will she make it!
[19:19] <@SpeedRcrX> Shut the f[BLEEP]k up Akane, I've taken more than this, I'm HARDCORE.
[19:19] * @SpeedRcrX links her arm with Michiru's and continues walking as the organ plays again.
[19:19] *** Three seconds later the entry wall to Casa Loma EXPLODES and a laser beam shoots out of the cloud of debris, cutting a pencil sized-hole right through Haruka's leg, sending her crashing down.
[19:19] <[Guest]starcat> =O Lasers?!
[19:19] <@SpeedRcrX> OH GOD WHAT THE F[BLEEP]K!?
[19:19] <[Guest]Kibouni Hikari> Dude, that security deposit is totally gone.
[19:19] * @SpeedRcrX writhes on the ground clutching her leg
[19:20] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> A new challenger has arrived!
[19:20] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Ara, and it's armed with a frickin' laser!
[19:20] *** KITT emerges from the dust cloud.
[19:20] <KITT> You b[BLEEP]ch!
[19:20] <@SpeedRcrX> Oh god... KITT?
[19:20] * KITT 's scanner light slowly swishes back and forth making the *woo woo* noise.
[19:21] * KITT sniffles
[19:21] <KITT> Haruka... how could you leave me for Michiru... *woo woo*
[19:21] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> It's the disembodied voice of Mr. Finney here to kill us all!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!
[19:21] <@SpeedRcrX> Dude. What we had was a long time ago... in a different world. the world of Chocolate and Lederhosen. The world of Germany.
[19:21] <KITT> Haruka... she drove you insane! That's why you came to me, into my open doors... into my HEART *woo woo*
[19:21] <@SpeedRcrX> Dammit don't make me cry man *sniffle*
[19:22] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> I... Yeah. Haruka's talking to a talking car. It looks like they have some kind of romantic history.
[19:22] <KITT> You understood the need for speed, the power I had under my hood. You took me for so many rides... *woo woo*
[19:22] <[Guest]Duo> FOX must be eating this up
[19:22] <@SpeedRcrX> I remember man, but that was a different time, a different life...
[19:22] <KITT> NO ONE COULD WORK MY GEARSHIFT LIKE YOU, HARUKA! *woo woo, woo woo*
[19:22] <@SpeedRcrX> Oh god the memories... so many years ago...
[19:22] <[Guest]Kibouni Hikari> O.O
[19:22] * [Guest] Sky Blue passes around popcorn; glad he brought it ^___^
[19:23] <Mdm_Maestro> Haruka! Snap out of it! You're marrying ME today!
[19:23] <@SpeedRcrX> I know, I know~
[19:23] <KITT> Damn you, Haruka! This isn't Utah! You can't get married! Our marriage in Dusseldorf was never annulled! *woo woo*
[19:23] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> :O
[19:23] <[Guest]starcat> O_O
[19:23] <[Guest] Sky Blue> . . .
[19:23] <flame_SNIPER> I just don't know what to say to that
[19:23] <[Guest] Sky Blue> did *NOT* see that coming
[19:23] <=^catablanca^=> Holy crap on a stick!
[19:23] <Mdm_Maestro> HARUKA!? You MARRIED this... this CAR?!
[19:24] <@SpeedRcrX> I was drunk okay, it might have happened... >_>
[19:24] <KITT> Oh Haruka, don't tell me you've forgotten our honeymoon.... *woo woo*
[19:24] <Mdm_Maestro> GET OUT OF HERE, YOU HOMEWRECKER! *throws a flower stand at KITT's hood*
[19:24] * KITT backs up a little to the screech of tires on marble. When he next speaks he sounds so sad.
[19:24] <[Guest] Roomie Rantsom> - You have got to be kidding me.... she drank and drove with him? -
[19:24] <[Guest]Duo> cool
[19:24] <KITT> So... you really don't want me anymore, Haruka... *woo woo*... *woo woo*
[19:25] <@SpeedRcrX> Hey, I was on the rebound from Michi dumping me for David Hasselhoff... man, I thought you two got back together?
[19:25] <KITT> Have you heard that man sing? I just wanted to blow out my aural circuits! *woo woo*
[19:25] <@SpeedRcrX> I'm sorry man... we had some wild rides, but I gotta move on... Michi and I were meant to be... I know that, in the depth of my heart.
[19:25] * KITT makes crying sounds *woo woo*
[19:25] <KITT> If that's... what you want.
[19:26] * KITT reverses more
[19:26] <KITT> I HATE YOU TEN'OU HARUKA! IT'S OVER BETWEEN US! I'M ANULLING OUR MARRIAGE!
[19:26] * KITT speeds out of the castle in reverse, spinning around in a quick 180 and turbo boosting away, his electronic crying sounds echoing into the night.
[19:26] <@SpeedRcrX> Aww man...
[19:26] <@SpeedRcrX> Aww KITT I didn't want us to end like this...
[19:26] <Mdm_Maestro> Haruka... do you still have feelings for that black T-top?
[19:26] <@SpeedRcrX> No Michi... but KITT was a good friend when I needed a good friend. But all I want now is you...
[19:27] <Mdm_Maestro> Oh, I want you too, Haruka--
[19:27] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> We've barely made it a third of the way down the Aisle, folks. So far three people have died and we've been harassed by a talking car. What else could go wrong?
[19:27] *** Suddenly, Ninjas appear.
[19:27] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Yeah. I just HAD to ask.
[19:27] *** The Ninjas surround Haruka and Michiru and extend all their weapons.
[19:27] <Mdm_Maestro> ¬_¬ Haruka, you didn't hire Ninjas to falsely abduct you so you could get out of this wedding, did you?
[19:28] <[Guest]Duo> Akane, shut up!
[19:28] <@SpeedRcrX> DAMMIT just because I dodged this for over A DECADE doesn't mean I'm dodging it now ><
[19:28] <[Guest]starcat> You shut up, Duo, you're ruining the moment!
[19:28] * [gTV]Karasuma_Akane kicks the everloving s[BLEEP]t out of duo.
[19:29] * [gTV]Karasuma_Akane rams a microphone up. his. ass.
[19:29] <Mdm_Maestro> Sorry, just checking, dear.
[19:29] <Arisu Kaioh> O HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO HO!
[19:29] * [Guest]starcat makes a mental note to send Akane some donuts or something after the wedding
[19:30] <Mdm_Maestro> Mother?!
[19:30] <Arisu Kaioh> I'm sorry dear, but I can't let you get married. It just wouldn't do.
[19:30] <Mdm_Maestro> Mother, I thought we agreed this wedding would go forward, if for nothing else to show the indomitability of our family against the world!
[19:30] <Arisu Kaioh> Yes, but plans have changed, dear. Your getting married would be a horrible inconvenience to my marriage plans. Therefore these ninja, the last remnants of the Tsukigumi division that served my mother-in-law so well in the 1920s, shall prevent you from taking your vows!
[19:30] <Mdm_Maestro> YOUR marriage plans?
[19:30] * Arisu Kaioh pulls Ten'ou Arata into shot, hugging him close elegantly but with an iron air of possession.
[19:31] <@SpeedRcrX> POP!? WHAT--
[19:31] <Mdm_Maestro> Haruka, that's your father!?
[19:31] <@SpeedRcrX> Yeah, but why's she holding him like that?
[19:31] <[Guest]starcat> Gasp!
[19:31] * [Guest]Kibouni Hikari sips some soda and munches on popcorn, eager.
[19:31] <Ten'ou Arata > Say hi to your new mom, 'Ruka! As soon as we make it official! ♡
[19:31] <@SpeedRcrX> My new-- my new-- but ain't that Michi's mom?!
[19:31] <Mdm_Maestro> Yes, that is...
[19:32] <@SpeedRcrX> But if they get married...
[19:32] * @SpeedRcrX looks at Michiru with a growing look of horror which is replaced by ><
[19:32] <[Guest]Kibouni Hikari> Holy s[BLEEP]t, that meas..
[19:32] <@SpeedRcrX> GODDAMNIT I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR SISTER!
[19:32] <Mdm_Maestro> We could always move to Virginia, dear... ^_^;;
[19:32] <Arisu Kaioh > Come dear, let us to the altar!
[19:32] * Arisu Kaioh pulls Ten'ou Arata with her
[19:33] * Ten'ou Arata waves to Haruka
[19:33] <Ten'ou Arata > Sorry kid, but this is one HOT PIECE OF BLUE-HAIRED--
[19:33] <@SpeedRcrX> Dammit pop they DYE THEIR HAIR!
[19:33] * Mdm_Maestro and her mother both yell "LIES!" at Haruka
[19:33] * Arisu Kaioh and Ten'ou Arata go past the Ninjas and advance towards the altar. The music starts up again after she snaps her fingers.
[19:34] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> This is unexpected! Haruka and Michiru are now being stopped from marrying by their parents, but not out of an objection to their gender, but the fact that they'd be committing incest!
[19:34] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> I'd love to do something about this, but dammit this entertains me all to much to stop. XD
[19:34] <Mdm_Maestro> Haruka. We MUST stop the wedding.
[19:35] <@SpeedRcrX> Right on, Michi!
[19:35] * @SpeedRcrX goes back to back like in the old days. The outer senshi music starts up and Michiru pulls out her henshin stick (Haruka hasn't needed one since SS: Budokai season)
[19:35] <[Guest]starcat> Wait, wait, whaaat?!
[19:35] <Wolf Blitzer> Wow! Facing the disintegration of their marriage plans, Ten'ou Haruka and Kaioh Michiru have decided to take a bold step for women's rights, producing "toys" right in the middle of the holy ceremony!
[19:35] <[Guest]starcat> Henshining in public = bad!
[19:36] <[Guest]Duo> You're a bunch of morons to think that.
[19:36] <[Guest]starcat> yes THANK YOU Duo for insulting us all. 9_9
[19:36] <Mdm_Maestro> What did Blitzer just...
[19:36] * @Diamond Dice Darkness grabs Duo by the hair
[19:36] <@SpeedRcrX> You remember what I said to you the first time you showed me a henshin stick... It looks just like a di--
[19:36] <Mdm_Maestro> --That led to a fun evening... *^_^*;;
[19:36] <flame_SNIPER> IDIOTS! You can't HENSHIN in front of the whole world!
[19:36] <Wolf Blitzer> Henshin? *sticks a camera in Rei's face*
[19:36] * @Diamond Dice Darkness hauls Duo outside; the sound of Atropos unloading a few clips into Duo's skull can be heard
[19:36] <flame_SNIPER> It's uhh... Japanese for Transform... Transform into raving slobbering lust fiends. Yeah.
[19:37] * [Guest]starcat ups the count of delicious delicacy boxes to two
[19:37] <@SpeedRcrX> Crap, she's right. We'll have to fight out of this with our bare hands!
[19:37] <Mdm_Maestro> I'll do anything to be with you, Haruka!
[19:37] * @SpeedRcrX slugs a ninja. She gets eight katana crossed around her neck.
[19:37] <Mdm_Maestro> Damn it! This can't be happening!
[19:37] <IrnChef_Jovian> Hotaru-chan, shouldn't we be trying to stop this?
[19:37] * FireFly_9 is eating popcorn, chuckling darkly.
[19:38] <IrnChef_Jovian> ...
[19:38] * // J_Daito // picks Professor Tomoe's pocket and takes the Daimon Seed.
[19:38] * // J_Daito // drops it in Hotaru's popcorn bag while she watches the potential demise of her hated enemies.
[19:38] * FireFly_9 absently eats the Daimon seed, and coughs violently
[19:38] *** Some crowd members start murmuring as Hotaru's eyes go purple, she seems to grow taller, her hair lengthens and her chest expands, bursting apart her bodice.
[19:39] <// J_Daito //> Ooh La-La~
[19:39] <[Guest]starcat> Hotaru-san? D:
[19:39] <// J_Daito //> Mistress 9, I take it?
[19:53] <FireFly_9> Mmm... all the best parts of her...
[19:53] * FireFly_9 GLOMPS Jedite and they start making out
[19:54] * // J_Daito // drops the box with the wedding ring, it opens and the ring rolls down the aisle
[19:54] * setsy_meiou sees her chance and runs to a closet, putting on a Sailor Pluto costume
[19:54] * setsy_meiou runs out down the aisle, knocking Arisu Kaioh and Ten'ou Arata aside. She faces the Ninja, who all turn to face her.
[19:54] <setsy_meiou> Tampering with a holy wedding ceremony is against the laws of man and the Kaioushin! Elizabeth Taylor and King Henry might allow it, but I won't! The Solider of Revolution! Sailor Pluto! In the name of the planet Pluto I shall punish you!
[19:54] *** The entire audience laughs mockingly "Don't you know that Pluto isn't a planet?!"
[19:55] * setsy_meiou bows her head in shame and walks off. the Ninjas return to threatening Haruka and Michiru as their parents confidently stroll down the aisle.
[19:55] <Mizunomics01> If they make it to rei.bot-dono and get married first, it will be illegal for Haruka-san and Michiru-san to marry!
[19:55] <Reverend_H> So what, yo, as long as someone gets hitched?
[19:55] * Reverend_H sees a gold ring roll next to him.
[19:55] <Reverend_H> Ooh, bling for mah Sexy thing~
[19:55] * Reverend_H pulls down his pants and attaches the ring to--- attaches the ring.
[19:56] <IrnChef_Jovian> Dammit, we can still fight even without transforming!
[19:56] <@SpeedRcrX> Michi... we may face death by Ninja... but I want to fight for our love!
[19:56] <Mdm_Maestro> You're sounding like Usagi-chan now, dear.
[19:56] <@SpeedRcrX> Oh that's f[BLEEP]king harsh.
[19:56] <Mdm_Maestro> I... like it...
[19:56] <@SpeedRcrX> w00t
[19:57] * @SpeedRcrX tosses off her jacket, rolls up her sleeves and prepares for the f[BLEEP]king Kobayashi Maru.
[19:57] * Mdm_Maestro does the same, elegantly pulling off her bridal gloves with her teeth and cracking her knuckles.
[19:57] <???> THERE'S NO NEED TO FEAR! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
[19:57] <@SpeedRcrX> Ho S[BLEEP]T! It's---------
[19:58] <Mr. Satan> That's right, Haruka! MR. SATAN IS HERE TO PROTECT HIS #1 FAN!
[19:58] * Mr. Satan charges and tackles the first set of Ninja, their bodies flying everywhere
[19:58] <IrnChef_Jovian> Holy cow I always thought he was a joke!
[19:58] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Only compared to people like Son Goku... compared to a regular person he's SUPER STRONG!
[19:58] <Mizunomics01> The odds are decidedly against him, considering the numbers and the armament.
[19:58] <???> That's where *I* come in~
[19:59] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> holy SIT itz---
[19:59] <[Guest] Roomie Rantsom> This is true. His strength is comparable to the "Immortal Hulk Hogan"
[19:59] <Reverend_H> BIG GREEN!!
[19:59] * BIG GREEN SMACKS Elios so hard he goes flying through the crowd and into the pipe organ, which explodes on contact.
[19:59] <BIG GREEN> They call me "MR. PICCOLO."
[19:59] * [Guest]Raihosha is getting dizzy from all the sudden revelations.
[19:59] *** Piccolo's Japanese Movie BGM theme kicks in
[19:59] * BIG GREEN jumps in and starts fighting the Ninjas with Mr. Satan.
[19:59] <[Guest] Jade Lin Yao> It's Mr. Piccolo!
[20:00] <Mr. Satan> Haruka! Go! Get married!
[20:00] <Big Green> Dammit! It's no good! Their Power Level is over 9000!
[20:00] <[Guest]starcat> Over nine thousand?!
[20:00] <[Guest] Cerulean> OVER NINE THOUUUUUUUSAAAAAAND!!!!!
[20:00] <@SpeedRcrX> Thanks man! Just hold them off for a bit!
[20:00] * @SpeedRcrX turns to Michi
[20:00] <@SpeedRcrX> It's time for us to run like we did in high school, Michi!
[20:01] <Mdm_Maestro> Right!
[20:01] *** Haruka and Michiru burst out of the burly brawl of Ninjas and start running down the aisle, hand in hand, gaining on their parents.
[20:01] * Arisu Kaioh coldly turns and snaps her fingers. Suddenly the ninja LEAP AWAY from the fight and rapidly construct a barrier in the center of the aisle.
[20:01] <Arisu Kaioh> Back in the 1920's, the Ninja of the Tsukigumi, or "Moon Division" of the Imperial Floral Assault Group my mother-in-law served with, were also tasked with building all the sets for their cover organization, the Imperial Theatre. So it is no challenge for them to quickly create this, the weapon of your ultimate defeat!
[20:01] *** EVERYONE except Chibiusa, Mamoru, the Ninjas and Arisu / Arata freeze in horror at the side of a 25 foot high backdrop featuring a particularly graphic scene from Ginga's Chibiusa / Mamoru Paris Hilton sex tape.
[20:02] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> I'm having severe flashbacks here
[20:02] <[Guest]Wolfwood> .......................................
[20:02] <[Guest]starcat> MY EYYEESSSS
[20:02] * [Guest]Kibouni Hikari vomits into her purse.
[20:02] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Me too
[20:02] <[Guest] Jade Lin Yao> GAAAAAAH!
[20:02] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> o sit i fargat wai i gav pu on popa
[20:02] * [Guest] Cerulean covers his andHikari-chan's eyes
[20:02] * [Guest]starcat covers her eyes and shudders
[20:02] <[Guest]Wolfwood> Is it legal to do *THAT* with a hockey stick?
[20:02] <B4DD3R-th4n-KingKong-Itz-Kim-jonG!!!> dOes tHaT mEaN yoU sTiLl waNt mE bAbi?
[20:02] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> ya saxi
[20:03] <B4DD3R-th4n-KingKong-Itz-Kim-jonG!!!> lOck oN foL RoVe, BaBy ♡
[20:03] * Mdm_Maestro looks up at the barrier
[20:03] <Mdm_Maestro> The only way up is to climb it...
[20:03] <Mdm_Maestro> But I can barely bear to look at it...
[20:03] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> OH GOD NO
[20:03] <[Guest]Wolfwood> Oh god....like a train wreck....can't....look....away
[20:03] <@SpeedRcrX> I know... dammit... this is our biggest pinch~
[20:03] *** There is a huge sound of falling bodies as Mr. Satan and Mr. Piccolo finally defeat all the ninja, whose hurled bodies rain down on the crowd.
[20:03] <@SpeedRcrX> Bad ASS! Mr. Satan, can you toss me over this wall?!
[20:04] <Mr. Satan> uhhh...
[20:04] * [Guest]Wolfwood gets a ninja in the face and falls out of his chair
[20:04] <Big Green> I'll do it, Haruka
[20:04] <???> No. No you won't.
[20:04] * [Guest]Michael Dembeck dodges Ninja bits!
[20:04] *** A Ninja Monkey appears.
[20:04] <Big Green> What the--
[20:04] *** Several More Ninja Monkeys appear
[20:05] <Ninja Monkey Master> You people killed our master. Honor demands you die!
[20:05] <[Guest]Wolfwood> Oh god I have a ninja in the face
[20:05] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> NINJA MONKEYS! GODS PERFECT WEAPON!
[20:05] <@SpeedRcrX> What? Ninja have no honor!
[20:05] <Mdm_Maestro> Haruka! This is no time to be arguing with a Ninja Monkey!
[20:05] *** As the Ninja Monkeys lay into Piccolo, Mr. Satan and anyone else who gets in their way, Arisu Kaioh and Ten'ou Arata begin a quick dash to the altar, where rei.bot waits...
[20:05] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> rei.bot-chan!! Don't marry them!!!!
[20:05] <[Guest]starcat> Ninja in the face is better than Chibiusa-porn in your face.
[20:05] <@spiritflame> first come, first served :P
[20:06] *** Haruka pulls out her space sword and JAMS it into the graphic barricade, right into Mamoru's package. She climbs up and notes with despair that even if she jumped there's no way to clear the height without transforming first
[20:06] <Mdm_Maestro> Do it!
[20:06] <@SpeedRcrX> The world will know our secret!
[20:06] <Mdm_Maestro> I don't CARE! If being a senshi meant anything, it meant being able to help us now!
[20:06] <@SpeedRcrX> Right!
[20:06] * @SpeedRcrX concentrates, preparing to transform by will-to-power
[20:07] * @SpeedRcrX gets impaled in the right arm by a Ninja star and falls down on top of Michiru, who is pinned by her bulk.
[20:07] * @SpeedRcrX looks right through the fourth wall.
[20:07] <@SpeedRcrX> OH GIVE ME A GOD DAMN BREAK HERE!
[20:07] *** Arisu Kaioh and Ten'ou Arata make it to the altar.
[20:07] <IrnChef_Jovian> Oh no...
[20:07] <@spiritflame> we are gathered here to join these two individuals in the bonds of holy matrimony;
[20:07] <@spiritflame> into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined;
[20:08] <@spiritflame> if any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace
[20:08] <[Guest]starcat> D:
[20:08] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Quick everyone! We have to stall! Everyone object!!
[20:08] <[Guest]Wolfwood> Oh this will be akward at the reunion
[20:08] <@SpeedRcrX> I object, because I don't want to turn into f[BLEEP]king AMARA and have to live in Hazzard County to validate my love!
[20:08] <// J_Daito //> I object because you people are ruining my sexy time with Hotaru 9!
[20:08] <GERMATOID> I OBJECT BECAUSE I SHOULD BE THE ONE WITH A WOMAN ALL OVER ME T_T
[20:08] <=^catablanca^=> I object to Hotaru / Jedite!
[20:08] <[Guest] Phoenix Wright> OBJECTION!!!
[20:08] * =^catablanca^= leaps between the two of them and claws Jedite's eyes
[20:09] <[Guest]Raihosha> I object, since I came to see Haruka and Michiru married!
[20:09] <// J_Daito //> RAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH
[20:09] <FireFly_9> Ar-Artemis? *her body deflates to its usually willowy self*
[20:09] <Mdm_Maestro> I object to not being the FOCUS of this entire affair!
[20:09] <[Guest]starcat> I object because I've already monogrammed the presents!!
[20:09] <Reverend_H> I object to their not being any damn strippers at the bachelor party, yo!
[20:09] <@SpeedRcrX> Dude I took care of that s[BLEEP]t!
[20:09] <Reverend_H> Rock, yo!
[20:09] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> I object to not being asked to be the officiant!! I AM the goddess of love!!
[20:09] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> I object that i have not finished my popcorn and it's the last act!
[20:10] <flame_SNIPER> I object to this not being done at Hikawa Jinja so we could have paid for the shrine's expenses!
[20:10] <@Diamond Dice Darkness> I object to this entire f[BLEEP]king thing.
[20:10] <Mizunomics01> I object to Makoto placing her hand on my Gluteus Maximus!
[20:10] <IrnChef_Jovian> D:
[20:10] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> I object to this wedding NOT FINISHING!
[20:10] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> I object to everyone objecting >:<
[20:10] <+Luna P> i 0bj3c7 2 n07 b3ing in 7Hi5 d4mn w3dding
[20:10] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> i objact 2 nat havang sax wit a hawt groamsnmen
[20:10] <[Guest]starcat> I object to Aya's objecting to everyone objecting!
[20:10] <setsy_meiou> I object to my whole sorry life story
[20:11] <[Guest]starcat> I also object to recursive objecting!!
[20:11] <Crwn_FruT_Gamer> I object to PETA!
[20:11] <Chiba_M> I object to ages of consent for willing nubile teens!
[20:11] <FireFly_9> I OBJECT BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT
[20:11] <[Guest]starcat> I ob...oh. ._.
[20:11] *** everything STOPS
[20:11] <[Guest]starcat> WAIT WHAT?
[20:11] <[Guest]Kibouni Hikari> WHAT THE F[BLEEP]K
[20:11] <[Guest]Raihosha> +O
[20:11] <[GUEST]Wolfwood> =O
[20:11] * // J_Daito // looks at Hotaru in shock, then at his hands
[20:11] <[Guest] Sky Blue> come again???
[20:11] <@SpeedRcrX> But all you did was Feel her up!
[20:12] <[Guest]Raihosha> Hotaru? Du-wha?
[20:12] <// J_Daito //> CIearly, that make me the ULTIMATE in virility. THE LITERAL "BEST MAN"
[20:12] * [Guest]Michael Dembeck's jaw drops at that
[20:12] <FireFly_9> --PREGNANT WITH ANTICIPATION FOR THE OUTCOME OF THIS EVENT
[20:12] * FireFly_9 chuckles
[20:12] <[Guest]starcat> ...THANK GOD.
[20:12] * [Guest] Sky Blue tachi facefault
[20:12] <Mizunomics01> Hotaru-chan, forgive me when I say I wish to kick the immortal feces out of you right now.
[20:12] * [Guest]Michael Dembeck facefaults
[20:12] * [GUEST]Wolfwood blinks
[20:12] * @Diamond Dice Darkness facefaults
[20:12] <Arisu Kaioh> SILENCE ALL OF YOU PEONS!!!!
[20:13] * Arisu Kaioh turns to rei.bot
[20:13] <Arisu Kaioh> Please, continue.
[20:13] <[GUEST]Wolfwood> someone needs a breathmint
[20:13] <@spiritflame> marriage is the union of partners in heart, body and mind;
[20:13] <@spiritflame> through marriage you--
[20:13] <Ten'ou Arata> Look just get on with the good s[BLEEP]t okay? thanks
[20:13] * @spiritflame glares at arata
[20:13] <@spiritflame> who gives this woman in marriage to this man?
[20:14] <Arisu Kaioh> No one gives me away, I go where I will. Move on, dear.
[20:14] *** rei.bot just sighs and continues.
[20:16] <Mdm_Maestro> Haruka...
[20:16] * Mdm_Maestro pulls out her transformation wand, heart beating, knowing she's about to blow the secret of the senshi on live worldwide TV...
[20:16] *** rei.bot takes a moment to determine the names of the parties
[20:16] <@spiritflame> do you--
[20:16] * [Guest]Kibouni Hikari leans forward in her seat
[20:17] <David Hasselhoff> (yelling from a ledge in front of the circular stained glass window) MICHIRU!!!!! MICHIRU!!!!
[20:17] * Arisu Kaioh and Ten'ou Arata turn to look at this new person, distracted
[20:17] <[Guest] Roomie Rantsom> - Now what? -
[20:17] * David Hasselhoff yells at Arisu, mistaking her for Michiru
[20:17] <David Hasselhoff> WAIT Michiru! I still love you! I still want you!!
[20:18] <Arisu Kaioh> My god... that man... so virile in a 1980's fashion... my god... I'm losing control of my senses... OH... OH!!! just looking at him! YES!
[20:18] * Arisu Kaioh SLAMS Arata away HARD, totally engulfed in wanton desire for David Hasselhoff
[20:18] <Arisu Kaioh> GET DOWN HERE YOU SPECIMEN OF MASCULINITY! COME AND BE MY MATE!
[20:18] <[Guest]Kibouni Hikari> ....EW.
[20:18] <[Guest]starcat> Like daughter, like mother.
[20:18] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Chansu!
[20:18] <@SpeedRcrX> Michi! Do it!
[20:19] * Mdm_Maestro gets ready to henshin
[20:19] <KITT> No need for that! *woo woo*
[20:19] *** the Knight Rider commercial sting plays dramatically.
[20:19] <@SpeedRcrX> KITT?!
[20:19] <KITT> I was thinking about it and... YOU'LL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART! *woo woo*
[20:19] * KITT TURBO BOOSTS over the brawling ninjas and EXPLODES through the chibiusa / mamoru barrier, as the Knight Rider theme plays.
[20:19] <[Guest]Michael Dembeck> Gotta love that f[BLEEP]kin' car
[20:19] <KITT> Go Haruka *windshield wiper fluid sprays happy tears* ... be with the one you love! I'm happy for you! *woo woo*
[20:19] <@SpeedRcrX> One car... CAN make a difference! *high fives KITT on the door*
[20:20] <KITT> Haruka... I am... and always will be... your friend. :D *woo woo*
[20:20] *** Ten'ou Arata watches as KITT drives up to him
[20:20] <[Guest]starcat> Awww~.
[20:20] <Ten'ou Arata> Hey... you're a good-lookin' car...
[20:20] <KITT> You're a good looking guy... *woo woo*
[20:20] <[Guest]Kibouni Hikari> ...
[20:20] * [Guest]Raihosha wipes at a tear, at the beautiful friendship of girl and car.
[20:20] *** Haruka and Michiru DASH to the altar, shoving David Hasselhoff and Arisu Kaioh aside, staring at each other, panting, exhausted, finally here after all these years.
[20:21] <@SpeedRcrX> Dammit Michi... today I been dropped out of a plane, stabbed, s[BLEEP]t on by crows, shot, lasered, and attacked by ninjas. But it's all been worth it. All I want, is you.... *pant, pant*
[20:21] <[GUEST]Wolfwood> this is better than daytime TV right here
[20:21] <Mdm_Maestro> Oh, All I want is you, Haruka... *pant, pant... lusty stare*
[20:21] *** Haruka and Michiru begin making out, pulling off their clothes and groping right in front of rei.bot
[20:21] <[gTV]Karasuma_Akane> Oh god fire up the censor bars. We got another Janet Jackson situation here
[20:21] <[Guest] Roomie Rantsom> O__O.
[20:21] * [Guest]starcat looks away >_>;;
[20:21] <[GUEST]Wolfwood> Oh that's just......oh wow
[20:21] <[gTV]Aya_Reiko> Ara, we're going to need a censor body condom for this, sempai!
[20:22] * [Guest] Seiya_Kou takes some pictures
[20:22] <@spiritflame> ¬_¬
[20:22] * [Guest] Roomie Rantsom facepalms.
[20:22] <@spiritflame> do you, tenou haruka, take kaioh michiru to be your partner in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon her your heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her as long as you both shall live?
[20:22] <[Guest]Raihosha> The international rights just doubled in price.
[20:22] <@SpeedRcrX> *is groped in a spot we can't name here* Oh YES, YES!!
[20:22] <@spiritflame> ...
[20:22] <@spiritflame> moving on
[20:22] <[Guest]starcat> >__>;;;;;
[20:22] <@spiritflame> do you, kaioh michiru, take ten'ou haruka to be your partner in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon her your heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her as long as you both shall live?
[20:23] <Mdm_Maestro> *Experiencing very vivid memories of her first breaststroke* YES! YES! OH YES!!
[20:23] <[GUEST]Wolfwood> I did not think ither of them were that flexable, huh, learn something new everyday I guess.
[20:23] <@spiritflame> very good; you may exchange the rings
[20:23] * [gTV]C'est_la_V taps Hotaru-chan on the shoulder "you're up!"
[20:23] * @Diamond Dice Darkness isn't staring, of course she isn't
[20:23] * FireFly_9 looks at the couple before rei.bot which is becoming increasingly more indecent by the moment .
[20:23] <FireFly_9> How about... no.
[20:24] * FireFly_9 throws the ring at the now-undulating duo.
[20:24] * Mdm_Maestro catches the ring on her ring finger perfectly.
[20:24] <GERMATOID> JEDITE, HARUKA-KUN'S RING--
[20:24] * // J_Daito // feels his pockets for it
[20:24] <// J_Daito //> It's gone.
[20:24] * [gTV]C'est_la_V eyes WIDEN for a moment as she hears that
[20:24] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> ...As the goddess of love I can't allow this wedding to fail!
[20:25] * [gTV]C'est_la_V runs to everyone in the procession, asking for a ring
[20:25] <Reverend_H> I got one, yo!
[20:25] * Reverend_H drops his drawers and pulls one off his... stallion.
[20:25] * [Guest]starcat blushes red and can't look ANYWHERE
[20:25] *** Minako winces and takes a tissue out of her pocket, taking the ring and tossing at the couple.
[20:25] * @SpeedRcrX catches the ring on her finger, oblivious.
[20:26] <@spiritflame> oh kami-sama ><
[20:26] * @spiritflame composes herself
[20:26] <@spiritflame> what – therefore – kami has joined together – let no man put asunder--
[20:26] <@spiritflame> and so, by the power vested in me by the province of ontario and kami-sama, I now pronounce you partners for life –
[20:26] *** "AND US!" exclaim Arisu Kaioh / DavidHasselhoff, Ten'ou Arata / KITT, Kim Jong IL / Chibiusa.
[20:27] <@spiritflame> whatever; i now pronounce you all partners for life in whatever configuration you so choose
[20:27] <@spiritflame> you may now kiss each other; just leave me out of it
[20:27] *** Haruka and Michiru share their first passionate kiss .... second... third.... first... second... third honeymoon moments as a married couple ♡
[20:27] *** Ten'ou Arata and KITT ride off into the sunset~
[20:27] *** Ten'ou Arata has left #suburbansenshi3 (SHIFT THAT STICK KITT! SHIFT IT!!)
[20:28] *** Arisu Kaioh and David Hasselhoff settle in for a wonderful nuptial Celebration~
[20:28] *** Arisu Kaioh has left #suburbansenshi3 (Sing for me dear, YES! O HO HO HO HO HO HO!)
[20:28] *** Chibiusa gets Kim Jong to give her all his warheads, leaving North Korea Totally Defenseless, and then divorces him
[20:28] *** .'~SugaBB_2999~'. [cndygrrl@azabu-jh.ed.jp] has left #suburbansenshi3 (HSHSHSHSHSHSHSSHSHSH)
[20:28] *** B4DD3R-th4n-KingKong-Itz-Kim-jonG!!! has left #suburbansenshi3 (nO sO rOneRi.... T_T)
[20:28] *** FIVE SECONDS LATER
[20:29] <@SpeedRcrX> Oh Michi~ that was fantastic~
[20:29] <Mdm_Maestro> I know, Haruka, oh~ I know~
[20:29] <flame_SNIPER> God will you two PLEASE get some clothes on and wipe up the floor? it's time for the reception!
[20:29] <[Guest]Raihosha> They're FINALLY married. I'm so happy.
[20:30] *** RECEPTION
[20:30] <@SpeedRcrX> Hey Michi, I've got a surprise for you!
[20:30] <Mdm_Maestro> Oh?
[20:30] <@SpeedRcrX> Yeah, it's in the cake!
[20:30] *** Makoto wheels in the cake, holding her nose. It smells. Even worse than usual for Michiru's handiwork.
[20:31] <Mdm_Maestro> Ara, you tampered with my cake?
[20:31] <@SpeedRcrX> In a SEXY way! (drum roll) C'mon out!
[20:31] *** nothing happens.
[20:31] <Mdm_Maestro> What's supposed to happen?
[20:31] <[GUEST]Wolfwood> I saw this movie, it did'nt end well.
[20:31] <@SpeedRcrX> I don't get it.
[20:31] <=^catablanca^=> I smell dead people.
[20:32] <@SpeedRcrX> What?
[20:32] <[Guest]starcat> No, that's the cake.
[20:32] *** Jedite and Ami open up the cake and find the dead body of Lucy Arwento, curled up in the fetal position, a glob of cake in her mouth.
[20:32] <@SpeedRcrX> Holy s[BLEEP]t
[20:32] <Mizunomics01> We now have solid scientific proof that the cooking of Michiru-san is 100% lethal.
[20:32] <Mdm_Maestro> ^_^;;
[20:32] *** WEDDING DEATH TOLL: FOUR
[20:33] * // J_Daito // happily eats the corpse-flavored cake.
[20:33] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> What a wonderful wedding! Let's dance!
[20:33] <Mdm_Maestro> Everyone! Before we do that, it's time to throw the garter!
[20:33] * Mdm_Maestro lowers her garter seductively
[20:33] <FireFly_9> Oh god it still has their fluids on it.
[20:33] * Mdm_Maestro tosses it in the air
[20:33] <[Guest]starcat> I am not catching that.
[20:33] *** the garter lands on Elios' head; he doesn't notice as he's necking with Chibiusa, who is standing on a stool to allow such.
[20:34] * [Guest] Cerulean is very quickly at a position to catch it; puts gloves on though
[20:34] <IrnChef_Jovian> HEY! That's MY chance at Am--- LOVE!
[20:34] * IrnChef_Jovian jumps Elios
[20:34] *** everyone else jumps in and beats him to a pulp
[20:34] <???> Hey bicjz im loking 4 mai momy
[20:34] <[Guest]starcat> D:
[20:34] <@SpeedRcrX> Who's that?
[20:35] <Serenity IV> Mai nyme iz kosagi skino im da dater ov shibiza tskino
[20:35] <.'~SugaBB_2999~'.> DA FICK!?!?!!?! !

THE END?!




 






...Wow. Helluva wedding, lol.

CrystalMan • 02/11/09 02:29am



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