Suburban Senshi IRC Chat #1054: “Think up your own funny Doctor who Spinoff
#1054: “Think up your own funny Doctor who Spinoff”

The Secret Project is 95% done, so regular updates should resume soon; in the meantime here's a fun post from a mailing list I'm on; --x "Big Brother Exterminate" (a spin-off from Season One's `Bad Wolf').

"Doctor versus Predator".

An Ood cooking show.

An animated series based on `Fear Her', in which the character's resemble kid's drawings.

A Sopranos-like series about the Slitheen family (in which ten minutes of every episode has to be allocated to saying the planet's name).

"I Know Who You Are, Minister" - a `Yes Minister' style comedy in which Harriet Jones battles her Machiavellian private secretary in a futile attempt to get her cottage hospital policy adopted.

"Yes You Did Fart, Minister" - in which the same public servant foils the Slitheen plot through convoluted committee meetings and endless red tape.

"Candid First Contact Camera". Aliens play jokes on planets that haven't encountered extraterrestrials yet, like rewiring a pig's brain and having it dive-bomb Big Ben in a spaceship, or landing in front of some poor soul no-one's going to believe and walking up and down with antennas on their head going "Beep, beep, beep."

"The Innuendo Squad". Gay sci-fi action comedy, with Captain Harkness and his camp companions battling the evil forces of Homophobia while making numerous suggestive quips.

"Doctor Screw". The inevitable adult industry sex spoof. After the destruction of Gallifrey the Doctor is regenerated as a younger and sexier person, who must ensure the survival of the Time Lords by spreading his seed across time and space.

"Lost in Time & Space" - a Doctor Who series where all the episodes take place *away* from Earth, and the original 'family' group of companions is restored. The Doctor has a name (Smith) and is portrayed as a scheming malingerer who's always getting them into trouble.

"Werewolves of Balmoral" - a soap opera in which the British Royal Family must conceal that they're werewolves for fear of damaging the tourist trade. Features an `Underworld' style forbidden romance between a handsome werewolf prince and a bloodsucking female paparazzi.

"Tin Dog & the Scooby-Do Gang". Kid's show in which Ricky...Mickey (whatever) and his crew battle the Cybermen for control of parallel Earth.

"UNIT" (also known as "Danger: UFO"). An action series in which hostile aliens are defeated with a few good explosions and a stiff upper lip.

"UNIT: NY". American spin-off of UNIT. More action, more sex, younger actors, improved special effects, lousy writing.

"UNIT: Miami". As above, but with gratuitous bikini shots.

"The Great Alien Debate" - in which the Doctor debates a topic of the week with various villains. Subjects include: Is capital punishment justified? (Dr vs Margaret Blaine). Xenocide a moral alternative to Dalek subjugation? (Dr vs the Dalek Emperor). Medical ethics (Dr vs the kitties of New New York). And so on.

"Timecops". A time agent from the 51st Century and his attractive female (or black) partner are given an apparently simple assignment to retrieve a police box that disappeared into the time vortex in 1963, but instead spend several seasons cleaning up the mess the Doctor always leaves behind.

"Doctor Ho". A parallel universe series in which the Time Lords are irresponsible meddlers while the Doctor is a staid bureaucrat trying to stop them. Unfortunately he's also a covert lecher who knocks up every pretty female he comes across.