Suburban Senshi IRC Chat #1037: “Sub.Sen Quickie: Bollywood's Fight Club”
#1037: “Sub.Sen Quickie: Bollywood's Fight Club”


[06:25] *** Sun Aug 27 2006 - LOGGING START ***
[06:25] *** Now talking in #suburbansenshi
[06:25] *** Topic is - the first rule is: Never tell Bollywood about fight club -
[06:25] *** Set by on Sun Aug 27 06:25 2006

[06:26] <@SpeedRcrX> Ok for our latest movie "review" we're going to give you an animated GIF that Dr. X put together and then give you some liner notes before.
[06:26] <=^catablanca^=> Because crap there's no way we could actually dissect the full 2.5 hours of theis Bollywood Musical of "Fight Club"
[06:26] <[gTV]C'est_la_V> Poor X-chan had to fast foward through it, his eyes were bleeding so much
[06:27] * [gTV]C'est_la_V pats X-chan
[06:27] <Dr_Xadium> :<
[06:27] <Reverend_H> Things to know beforehand: This s[BLEEP]t AIN'T a remake of the original. There ain't no Tyler Durden, and no plots to overthrow the capitalist empire with bars of soap.
[06:28] <@SpeedRcrX> It seems Bollywood decided to just take the title and run with it. So we get a club. With fights that happen in it.
[06:29] <Dr_Xadium> I don't know Hindi, and I don't have subs for this, so I just tried to go based on what I could see PLUS my sickening knowledge of the Indian movie narrative structure, which works like so:
[06:29] <Dr_Xadium> Movie does funny things to make you laugh and REALLY be happy
[06:29] <Dr_Xadium> Musical number.
[06:29] <Dr_Xadium> Movie then kills someone you REALLY LIKE in order to make you feel like CRAP.
[06:29] <Dr_Xadium> Musical number.
[06:30] <Dr_Xadium> Plot happens.
[06:31] <Dr_Xadium> Musical number.
[06:31] <Dr_Xadium> No matter how unrealistically it happens, a happy ending is got.
[06:31] <Dr_Xadium> End / Musical Number.
[06:31] <FireFly_9> This formula is adhered to here.
[06:32] <@SpeedRcrX> Yeah, all you need to know is that the words FIGHT CLUB are branded every the f[BLEEP]k where the club runs, to the point of dumbass stupidity
[06:33] <FireFly_9> And signups are done in broad daylight.
[06:35] <@SpeedRcrX> There are a few fights that are ok, but there's no kickass set pieces so to speak of, just the odd throwdown here and there. There's no psychological edge so much as it's just about "guys make club, other guys want in, s[BLEEP]t goes down, people die, there are fights, a moment of moral clarity is achieve via creative use of a shiv to the neck, the end."
[06:35] <Dr_Xadium> Here is the GIF (770+ Kb, please don't refresh it constantly)
[06:35] *** SYSTEM ANNOUNCE - go watch the gif now ***
[06:37] <FireFly_9> At one point a ticklefight was mentioned. Here is that in all its embarrassing glory.
[06:39] <=^catablanca^=> English (And I don't mean EnGRISH) is used pretty annoyingly here in parts. Annoyingly because the lines are just DUMB. Like this one! (You may need to replay the audio because the streaming always jumps over the middle)
[06:40] <FireFly_9> And Chauvenists can delight in the fact that the cleavage in the Blue Dress called "The Bombshell" is actually called just that in the movie. Oh, she has a name, but we know the one that gets used.
[06:42] *** Dr_Xadium [user-19fasjd@TARDIS904563.panopticon.gallifrey.sen] has quit IRC (passed out god that was horrible)
[06:42] *** [gTV]C'est_la_V [GldnGoddess@upperdeck.ginga.tv] has quit IRC (Moh! Poor X-chan!!)
[06:42] * @SpeedRcrX points to the readers
[06:42] <@SpeedRcrX> DON'T EVER SAY WE DON'T SACRIFICE s[BLEEP]t FOR YOU GUYS
[06:42] <@SpeedRcrX> Because this was hell
[06:43] * @SpeedRcrX breaks into manly macho tears
[06:43] <@SpeedRcrX> this was hell
[06:43] <=^catablanca^=> there there
[06:43] <@SpeedRcrX> YOU CAT
[06:43] <=^catablanca^=> ?
[06:43] <@SpeedRcrX> YOU'rE MY NEW BEST FRIEND T_T
[06:43] <=^catablanca^=> ^_^;;
[06:44] * @SpeedRcrX HUGS you man
[06:44] * FireFly_9 is away: good luck with this Artemis.
[06:44] <=^catablanca^=> eheheehhe
[06:44] *** Disconnected
[06:44] *** Sun Aug 27 2006 - LOGGING END ***




 






Ah, Bollywood, what famous movie won't you use and turn into garbage?

Tuxedo Rainbow • 08/27/06 08:51am

Ah, quality Indian cinema. Many times have I idly started watching some mildly intriguing movie at half past midnight, only to end up crawling to bed at 5 a.m. having been subjected to every genre in cinema, compressed into a bewildering but well-choreographed ball.

Some more patterns I have noticed from my late-night Bollywood encounters:
Sexy leading man is usually a cheery, laid-back heit to a rich family. His best friend/comic sidekick will be much poorer than he is, and will either be a very skinny ugly bloke or a big fat silly bloke. The main character's dad will be played by a large, respectable-looking old man. And the amazing thing is: it's always the same old man. There is only one actor employed in Bollywood to play the part of "leading man's long suffering father who's a bit strict but comes around in the end", and given that Bollywood is now producing movies at a rate of one every 1.5 seconds, he's rarely out of work. And that is true.

Chibi Martina • 08/27/06 07:30am



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